Hard to express things
If I live in a bubble
Coagulation
Coagulation: the act of changing from a liquid into a thickened mass
Have I become a thickened mass?
Or is the clot that formed in my calf a warning…beware.
You are not allowing life to flow freely to you.
Allow. Accept.
Everything that happens is meant to happen.
Every lesson you are offered is there for a reason.
Every step you take, even the steps with pain, take you closer to the realization of your soul.
It has been a trying time of late. Many changes have occurred and I realize now that even though I have weathered the storms much better than I might have four years ago, I can still see that I have a propensity to try to control life. I can almost act a bully as I hold on, squeeze, and try to reshape the events that appear like a lump of molding clay.
I have a preconceived notion of what life is “supposed” to look like, “supposed” to be. When it doesn’t fit that mold I revert to the feelings of helplessness and fear and I somehow, mistakenly believe that I have the power to change things.
As I recuperate from my knee surgery and the subsequent blood clot in my calf, and the allergic reaction to the first blood thinner I was put on, my wish is to have patience (as a very dear friend reminded me 🙂 ) and grace, and to allow life to flow unimpeded…without coagulation…and to accept whatever appears next.
Blessitude
Lorrie <3
6/1/15
*The artwork is mine 😉
Your attitude for making everything an opportunity for growth is inspiring. Prayers for strength and victory over this blip in your journey!
Thanks Di! I’m so grateful for the ability to see things this way. It was not always the case. Many blessings to you for a wonderful week 🙂 ♡
Love your artwork!
and I agree with Di — your attitudes is inspiring.
Hugs
Thank you dear Louise 🙂 This piece of art was fun to make, and it really flowed. Hope all is super in your “married” world 😉
♡
Who knew you had multiple attitudes? 🙂 attitude.
Haha…oh I have many “attitudes!” For a time my friends thought I had many personalities too! A particular favorite of theirs was “Frank,” who was names so because he stated what was very frankly! But my favorite was/is Faith…for obvious reasons 😉
♡
I am so sorry to hear of these complications dear Lorrie, though I do marvel at how you continue to draw such deep and philosophical learning from your adversity. I think what you describe in your second paragraph is part and parcel of the human condition, and few in number are those that walk through life without fear and the delusory notion of control over life. H <3
Hi Hariod…good to see you 🙂 I can’t tell you that I “immediately ” get to this place of acceptance, though I am able to get there much more quickly than ever before. Our lives are directed by the way we think and I spent too many years thinking in a way that kept my energy in a low vibration. If I have a choice, and I do, I would much rather be happy. Life will continue to throw adversity, and I will become stronger and stronger! And in the end I will view EVERYTHING as an opportunity to learn 🙂 Have a super day, Hariod ♡
I am so sorry for all you are going through! Praying for healing, strength, and grace!! Love your haiku and your artwork 🙂 Much love to you!!
Hi Julie 🙂 so good to see you. I will be over today because I know I’ve missed some of your wonderful inspiration!! Thank you my dear friend I feel so comforted feeling your prayers!! 🙂 ♡♡
Your writing here alone says it all, Lorrie. The willingness to face what comes and let it be, and perhaps to be able to provide the simple response of presence, and maybe an inspired tweak here or there, without spiraling into all the various forms of human madness– some seemingly benign and socially acceptable and some more obviously dark and far-reaching– is the true nature of courage I think. That turtle shell sky has you on its back!
Much Love,
Michael
Thank you, Michael, for your beautifully stated poem-like response! Yes, those forms can take on a life of their own if left to their own devices. I appreciate your kindness and I love your last line!! Yes, sometimes we need to be carried 😉 and if it is possible to be carried on words then I am a really lucky, blessed being! <3
Lorrie, it seems a thin line between responsibility and blame, I imagine our bodies sometimes just form clots, or develop infections. Illness is a part of life, as challenging as that is. Pain, too. Yet most of us are taught we are somehow creating all we experience. Maybe the key is our response to experience, our kindness, our realization that things, and we, are complex and control is an illusion. Anyway, may the healing continue and deepen.
Yes, Michael, I agree, there is a thin line. I love your idea that the key is “our response to experience, our kindness, our realization that things, and we, are complex and control is an illusion.” I look to the idea that most people think of “fighting” a disease, and these days many times the “cure” for diseases feels like a “fight.” It seems counterintuitive to fight, and I have fought many, many things in my past. I do believe that there has to be an environment of acceptance and allowing, not to say that we let an event or disease take over, but that we don’t create an environment where there is no balance, no love. Thank you so much for your well wishes, I am grateful for your presence here! <3
Funny how getting to the place of peace and acceptance during trying times can be so difficult. ( for me , anyway) Once there, the whole perspective changes and everything becomes so much easier. I have yet to learn how to stay there . You inspire me and are part of my learning experience. Thank you, Lorrie! Blessings, healing and Grace to you, my friend!!
And you are a part of my learning experience as well! I thank you Cynthia, for empowering me with your words and I am ever so grateful to be a help to you on your journey!! I think this is what we are all here for. Nothing feels better than to offer comfort, help and understanding to another soul! Blessitude <3
There is nothing new I can add here. It’s all been so well said. You started that ball rolling and I like where it went. We do try so hard to control. I wish you wellness from my heart to yours.
You have to know that your words to me over the weekend were a HUGE help in my getting to this place! It is that kind of faith that is the underlying condition that opens the door to peace! Thank you, Marlene <3 I am so grateful for your friendship.
I am here to serve. That’s my calling. 🙂
May you be filled with patience and allowing as you flow with life, gently steering, at peace with the ride. Hugs and blessings my friend. <3
Hey Brad 🙂 An early response from you means you didn’t party too hard at your birthday celebration last night 😉 😉 Thank you for your beautiful words…and yes the flow you mention is so important. We do have a choice how we handle our bumps in the road. Many blessings to you, dear friend <3
Thanks Lorrie! It was a simple and fun celebration. 🙂
“Every step you take, even the steps with pain, take you closer to the realization of your soul.” What a wise and true summary Lorrie… patience and acceptance… your artwork is wonderful… and meaningful: there’s a flower (a sunflower?), it looks like a baby in his mother’s womb, a sunflower waiting for the sun… keep courage… you deserve so many wonderful flowers 🙂 😉 our paths are incredibly parallel, aren’t they?… and you know that there’s light at the end of the tunnel… take care & much love and positive energy, ♥ F.
Ah! I love how you analyzed the drawing, dearest Fre’de’ric!! And I adore that you recognize my affinity for flowers…and white peonies have such wonderful healing power 🙂 !!
Our paths are parallel, yet our souls are “entangled!” You give me strength, dear friend, and I am so grateful for our connection!! I am more than grateful to see light…it is at the end of the tunnel…but it is also in my heart…has always been in my heart. And I thank YOU for being a light worker who helped me to see it! Much love, dear friend <3 <3 <3
I think Dear Lorrie, we can all of us reside within our own globules of thought and can be hard upon ourselves when we ‘Know’ how to be, and yet see ourselves as at times coming up short to our own expectations..
You know you have my healing energy Lorrie.. been sending you my thoughts… Its good to keep a Mantra going as you allow life to flow freely.. One Affirmations from Louise Hays is
-Blood Clotting: Closing down the flow of joy.
Affirmation: I awaken new life within me. I flow.
Love to you.. Keep Flowing.. I know your Blog certainly flows with Love … Take care my friend xxx Sue xxx
Thank you Sue! I can feel your powerful, beautiful energy and I am so grateful for it! I love that you quoted Louise Hay…I did look up in her book what a blood clot would mean, although this is probably one of the easier ailments to diagnose…a clot blocking the “flow” of blood. I would not have guessed that it is JOY that is blocked, but I will explore this more.
And, oh…expectations! What a Pandora Box topic this opens up for me. This is at the base of the pyramid which blocks allowing and acceptance! And as I write this in deep thought, I can quite possibly believe that this may be my true blockage! Yes, there have been, and continue to be events in my life that I feel resistance to accepting….WOW…Thank you Sue. Another layer uncovered…BAM!! <3 <3
Wonderful… So pleased this little comment acted as a trigger mechanism.. 🙂 but isn’t that the way of Pandora’s Box… 🙂 LOL love it LOVE IT.. 🙂 <3
Thank you, Sue ♡♡
First of all, fantastic artwork. And Lorrie, I think it’s amazing how you allowed for coagulation to become a learning moment – brilliant, I think that’s Nobel-Prize-worthy 🙂 Your post also got me thinking not only about accepting but also about excepting. Brilliant delineation. Hugs, Harlon
And this play on words…thoughts…emotions is brilliant!!! Thank you, Harlon. I think there is a relationship between the two that could for sure be explored! Thanks for the nod on the artwork…this one was fun to make 🙂 But, Nobel-Prize-worthy…..nah! But thank you for the thought! Hehe <3
Beautiful Lorrie, this spoke to me deeply, so real and so true about our lives. Healing wishes to your for your knee! Sandy
Hi Sandy…Welcome!! I’m so happy that you stopped by and found something meaningful to you. And thank you so much for the well wishes…I am healing as we speak…write 😉
beautiful words and so sorry to hear about the reaction post surgery…hope that heals soon <3 You are inspirational and it is ok to lose patience sometimes ( we are human) but sending good thoughts and prayers my friend <3
Aw…Neha! Thank you…it’s funny how emotions can pop up out of nowhere. When I read “it is ok to lose patience sometimes,” I felt such a powerful wave of emotion and it brought a tear to my eye. And that, right there, is a key in all of this. Yes, we can strive to raise our awareness and to be full of acceptance, but a preconceived notion of what that all looks like gets in the way of what IS. If I lose patience, there has to be allowing and acceptance for that. I think I still try to control what I allow/accept based on what I think things SHOULD be. Oh…I am a work in progress!!! 🙂
Blessings!! <3
aww hugs and aren’t we all <3 Much love to you my friend <3
Oh Lorrie, are you referring to complications post-surgery? Or, is it that life and its way of throwing hardballs at us every so often has gotten you down?
You are such a ‘glass-is-half-full’ kind of girl. That’s a great way to be. I wish I was more like that. I’ve always been a pessimist (I hate to admit).
I hope and pray that you find peace and comfort, and that you come out on the other end strengthened and refreshed.
Many blessings and hugs.
🙂 <3
Hi Staci! Yes, unfortunately, I had a complication of a blood clot in my leg after my surgery 🙁 And then I had an allergic reaction to the drug they put me on. But I really am doing much, much better than last week!! 🙂 I just got out of the pool…the only exercise I can do now…and it feels GREAT to move 🙂 Thank you so much for your caring heart, your beautiful energy lifts me up 🙂 ♡♡♡
You need a hug Lorrie.
Are you ready ……
XOXOXOX
Now that feels good 🙂
I just got it, Val!!!! And, YES…it feels so good 🙂 Thanks, my friend. I am grateful for you. ♡♡
It is so difficult for us humans to let go of the desire to control everything in life. And that very desire brings us pain as we truly don’t have the powers to shape things the way we feel there’re supposed to be. I’m learning that lesson over and over again. Thank you for the reminder…you have a wonderful spirit and letting life just flow, will take you exactly where you are supposed to be. I wish you tons of blessings and send you light as you recuperate <3
Thanks, Tiny 🙂 It is funny how the mind thinks it can control everything. It’s not like it ever gets confirmation that this is so, but it continues to hold on tight! I am bathing in the light you send and I will continually work on releasing…letting go. Much love and light back to you, friend ♡♡
wow – Lorrie – the art work, your words, the presentation is the best therapy!
Thank you kind heart!! Yes…it is all like therapy, Mino. Most especially the love and kind words sent by beautiful souls like you!! May your day be blessed ♡
I see a tigers eye, dandelion, and 2 butterflies swirling together.
One suggestion on control is that if you try to control life you will go crazy, since it is not able to be controlled. However, you can control your every reaction to life. That small change in perception can have a butterfly effect on everything else.
Also, alcohol is a blood thinner so a show of whiskey can take that edge off. 😉
(Seriously I am kidding, do not mix pharmeceuticals and alcohol)
Regards,
Clifford T Mitchem
Advocare Distributor
Nutrition + Fitness = Health
http://www.AdvoCare.com/13087657
Hi Clifford! My drawing is a secret Rorschach Test….Just kidding 🙂 I think the whiskey comment is more telling (hehe) …and even though I hate whiskey, at this point it seems preferable to the pills that I appear to be allergic to!!
Thanks for commenting…I completely agree with you…we can’t control life…just our reaction to it 🙂 Have a super day!
Lorrie, I did not know you had surgery. I am really sorry to hear your struggles of late. Life can throw some pretty fast balls, ones that you just don’t even see coming. Letting go of control … I seem to tug, let go, tug, let go … and as I do, I stumble, fall, get up, brush myself off, try again, fall again …. and always get up. I pray for a speedy recovery for you!!! Sending Much Love to you this day, Amy <3
Dear sweet Amy!! You are always such a shining example of love!! I know you have the fortitude to rise every time you are knocked down…and you do it with such grace!! Thank you for your beautiful support…I am in this …and I will get up every time with faith in my heart. Much love to you dear friend! ♡♡♡
You are in my Heart and prayers, my friend. (((HUGS))) Amy <3
Oh! You have expressed such wisdom in so few words!
Hope you’re doing fine.. love and prayers …. 🙂
Thanks Maniparna 🙂 Your steadfast support is very dear to me! I am working through the challenges and I am grateful ♡
The body has a way of finding balance with time. I pray your balance is being restored in good time, and that you will be running like the wind. Until then, rest and gain strength. I love the artwork!
Thank you JoAnne 🙂 Yes, now is the time for healing and I am grateful for baby steps. It is giving me time to really reflect on things in my life. Have a beautiful day dear spirit! ♡
Lorrie,
I hate to hear you’ve had to deal with all of that in regards to the knee surgery/blood clot but I like to see that you’ve found a way to think about things in a different perspective. Indeed when we “flow” with life instead of getting caught up and “stuck” trying to control things (impossible, I’ve found) we tend to fare a bit better. Get well soon and hopefully your recovery will have no more hiccups! Peace and strength to you! 🙂
Thank you so much for your heartfelt words of encouragement and for your wisdom! 🙂 I know I am a work in progress, and I am learning so much that I am grateful for. I continue to work through this “hiccup” 🙂 as we try to find the correct blood thinner. Your support is needed….and appreciated!! Have a super blessed day! <3
You too Lorrie! 🙂
😉 <3
@”*The artwork is mine 😉 ” – bravo and congrats, Lady Lorrie! For you’re LA FEMME TOTALE: poet and artist… admiration & respect, Ma’am! <3 since you love peonies, here are mine, offered by my American "old babies" last Sunday, on Maman's day in France: 🙂 https://myvirtualplayground.wordpress.com/2015/06/03/pivoine-eternelle-et-papillon-ephemere/
* * *
my very best, try to stay healthy and optimistic, even though it's hard – sometimes… friendly thoughts & heartfelt wishes… <3
Hi Me’lanie!! Thank you so much for the accolades and the support…you are very dear to me 🙂 I am doing a fairly decent job staying positive…this one is a big test and I plan to pass with flying colors 🙂 Now for the peonies….ah! Yes they are such lovely flowers. A dear friend sent me a most beautiful one and it touched my heart! I will go visit your peonies…and say Happy Belated Mama’s day!! 😉 ♡♡