What is at the bottom of these feelings
When the layers are pulled back what is it that exists at the core that is causing so much pain
So much anger and animosity
The bottom line is I spent forever ignoring this truth – laying the guilt, blame, and shame on every place except for the one place that it deserves to be
All the years I felt guilty because I thought I was the one who engineered the distance
It was a fallacy I concocted so as not to accept the truth that HE is the one who created the separation
HE is the one who lets time go by
And I hardly ever enter his mind
And apparently if I do I am easily brushed aside
Just like I’ve always been
That is unless he picks up the phone to make one of three phone calls in an entire lifetime
And the motivation to do so is to celebrate…gloat…perpetuate hate…violence…and racism
To the one he knows would not agree
To the one he thinks he can continue to inflict pain upon
To the one he apparently knew was different from the start and so he worked tirelessly to beat her into submission
I get all wrapped up in what should be which only creates a chasm in dealing with what IS!
Yes. The bottom line is that I have felt excluded my entire life and I finally realize that is a GOOD THING!
Blessitude!
Lorrie <3
11/16/16
POSTS IN THE SERIES
(Links will become active after each writing is posted)
1). Consequences ~ The Fishing Expedition
2). Consequences ~ The Fallout
3). Consequences ~ The Bottom Line
4). Consequences ~ The Continuum of Light
HI Lorrie,I know so many people who have experienced something similar. Especially the bit about the call to gloat and inflict pain. So well said.
The call was incredibly indicative of the energy that this election is. It’s personal…it’s national…it’s all CONNECTED! Thanks, Kim.
Lorrie dear ….your transformation takes my breath away , your brave acknowledgement awes …and humbles .💜
Aww…Meg, thank you so much for such a beautiful sentiment. I grappled with this one…and then I knew that it was truth and part of the whole…and honestly, Meg…I’m tired of being afraid and standing in shadows feeling things and not acknowledging or expressing them because fear surrounds me. No, I want to stand in my power and be true to the authenticity of my soul and that doesn’t mean that I have to be nasty but it does mean that I have to take care of myself. And if that means that I end relationships (that aren’t really relationships) so be it.
Sorry for my rant 😉
Much love and beautiful blessings, my friend ♡
Lorrie … you are not alone dear . I so understand ….taking care of ourselves first is so difficult at times … I’m there with you with love always 💓
Thank you Meg ♡♡ I can feel your support.
I know so many who received a gloating call or text. I’m thankful that I received a text from my brother who was as concerned as I was. I choose to focus on the good; don’t let the haters take you to their hell. 🙂
Thanks, Lorrie! Yes, I agree wholeheartedly 🙂 This particular event put a spotlight on “other” issues for me and even though it was ugly and uncomfortable…I am grateful for the new awareness. Thanks, Lorrie…I appreciate your support ♡
Thankfully I have received nothing like this. I hope you find your way back to love and peace.
Hugs and blessings my friend. You are worthy and lovable. <3
Thanks Brad…I’m so happy you didn’t have to feel anything like this. It was kind of hard to take…and you already know I was shameful for going low. I am rising now Brad! Thanks so much for your love and support ♡ Have a super day!
I was attacked (verbally) and judged for my progressive stance for Bernie and then Jill. And I got overly attached to my point of view, and then to fixing everyone with ending the divisiveness. Which I do believe would help, but realized I was fighting against what I didn’t want instead of standing for what I do want. So I’m returning to quiet peaceful promotion of my values. Peace and love for all.
Wow, Brad! Thanks 🙂
Your words are a gentle reminder that what we “fight” only becomes stronger. When we learn to live in the energy of love and peace then the outside attacks should become less and less. You helped me so much as I just asked Marlene a question…and you answered it!!!
Loving peace to you ♡♡
Wonderful Lorrie. I’m delighted my words could help. Vaya con Dios. peace…
Well said. Stand in your power. We are not all supposed to agree on everything but we can be kind about our differing opinions. No reason to gloat.
Hi Marlene…thank you so much. Funny that I just got another opportunity to do just that! It’s not always easy to stand up to a bully that has been your bully your whole life. But I just got off a phone call where I had to do it again. And while it doesn’t get easier and I don’t feel any less stressed, I am grateful not to play their victim. But I have a question…why do these energies bombard you all at once? Feeling a little war-torn. But moving to love…thank you ♡♡
They bombard you to make sure your remember in your cellular structure to stand in your power. We never GET it when the lessons are easy. And we are all learning all the time. Those bullies, will be learning a lesson too.
Ah! Thank you so much 😉 I believe you are correct…Bullies don’t like it when the people they always counted on to be submissive suddenly change the game. The Universe is offering reinforcement…because it knows me 😉 I tend to soften and don’t like to hurt other’s feelings.
Blessings dear one!! (And now all this drama this morning has eaten into the time I was supposed to start that “project” I’ve been avoiding!!! HMMMMMM…..)
True awareness Lori! Spoken from your heart 💚
Thanks, Karen! I’m happy to share words from my heart 🙂 Hope all is well with you ♡
My heart goes out to you as you reflect on the memories Lorrie. May you find you rightful place with others who love you for who you are, not what they can take from you. Hugs your way … all the way to the bottom.
The artwork is beautiful 💛
Dear Val, thank you. Your words touched me very deeply as I realized the truth in them. They have no idea who I am. And I don’t feel very generous in allowing them to take any more 🙂 Good for me!
And thanks…the art is a photograph (the same one for the whole series) that I used different filters on to get different effects. The 2nd one is particularly moving to me…I may just try to paint it! Loving energy to you ♡♡
Paint it my friend 💛
🙂
I’m happy to read, that you found yourself and your own values here, Lorrie 🙂
Sometimes we receive bad information etc., then it is up to us, how to react at these. It is not always easy to stay at the right path, but it is worth it.
Take good care of yourself.
Thank you Irene! Your words are so full of truth! Sometimes it is hard to see the big picture because we get so involved in what is happening in the moment. I thank you for your support…it means a lot to me. And I send you beautiful blessings <3
Thank you Lorrie.
Thank you for these thought provoking words. I believe this energy has flowed internationally. It has been a time to up-root deep ingrained emotions of pain and suffering. I have been forging through for over a month dealing with very deep hurts which just got buried and it was the time to face and release them. Like many a few years ago I would have said I have not experienced this or I thought I had dealt with it. The most painful are the hardest to face. It has to be the right time for this pain to go. You have to be in a good place to work through the most painful aspects of your own life. I am so happy you have achieved this and know your worth and you are above the pain that was inflicted upon you. Walk ahead knowing you are closing some heavy doors. Blessings to you always.
Thank you so so much. I am fighting back tears right now…not tears of sadness but tears of release. When you said that I was closing some heavy doors I pictured myself standing in a dungeon and slowly closing a giant metal door…I peeked in one last time and I thanked the pain for bringing me closer to my true self. This Healing is a process and I send you oodles of beautiful healing energy so that you will have all you need to walk up to the giant door and close it, too. Thank you for your understanding, support, and compassion ♡♡
You are welcome and thank you for the healing to help me too. Bless you
You Know Lorrie, it often takes us to get to a point of crisis or as we reach that boiling point to explode as the lid we have kept firmly in place blows off our suppressed emotions. I am so pleased you said you are standing in your own Power.. I know from past experiences how manipulative others can be as they put us down. Then turn it all around upon us to be of our making..
Reading your thoughts as you have traveled through your emotional journey I see how these layers are being released, one by one as they peel back, each layer not easy as the peeling and revealing can be painful as we look with fresh eyes at the raw skin underneath.
But each layer revealed brings it into the fresh air to allow it to heal.. Yes these wounds take time to heal.. Sometimes we pick at the scabs and make ourselves bleed from time to time.. The scars left may heal but they are still visible under the skin..
It isn’t until we step back and take a look at what caused us to bleed in the first place and see who caused the scars that we really begin to heal..
The bottom Line is that we have come out of our shells, and can be proud of who we are.. And we can now truly LOVE ourselves.. The only way from the Bottom is UP… and I am with you all the way as you keep climbing..
Your artwork by the way Lorrie.. is fantastic..
Love and Blessings and keep flying high
Sue <3 <3 <3
All I can say is YES! Dear Sue, you have given us a very real visual of the work that Healing is; working to uncover the hurt, peeling back layers and seeing what is really there!! My dear sister said to me the other day that in a way I should be grateful for the pain others cause because it brings forth such beautiful healing in words and art. I know what she meant and I am grateful for the ability to learn from the pain…just don’t always embrace the pain while it is at its worst. But that is the true beauty of pain…you can work through it and suddenly it is a distant memory…or a scab, like you said, that you pick from time to time. And I used to think the pain and the scars made me flawed and now I even see that differently!
Thank you for adding your beautiful soul and energy to my healing, Sue. Words, which I see as a gift, do not wholly express my gratitude…I hope you can feel my energy ♡♡
You are welcome Lorrie.. Much love and healing vibes sent.. Enjoy your weekend my friend xxx <3
Lorrie,
<3 I feel your strength. <3
Have a wonderful weekend!
Ka
Thank you, Ka! I feel it too 🙂 And I need it right now…seems so many people have been on the attack. Blessings for a wonderful weekend. <3
Dear Lorrie, I am amazed how you continue to blossom as an artist – and I mean that in every aspect of the creative process. That last line, WOW. It stuck to me like glue:
The bottom line is that I have felt excluded my entire life and I finally realize that is a GOOD THING!
Indeed, that is the bottom line and INDEED that is a very good thing.
Touched and moved, Harlon
Oh! I’m so happy you feel the power of that line dear Harlon! Isn’t it crazy..? The realization that I was actually graced to be excluded from something I thought I wanted/needed to be a part of!! Ah! It feels good to talk about it…to remember it in this moment. I wish all people could feel this simple truth. Thanks for your warm heart ♡♡♡ And may this realization lay over you like a warm blanket!