Self, less a piece of my heart
I felt it leave as I looked
And couldn’t believe it left with you
But it was always with you
Self, less the people who came together
to give me life
Through trials and tribulations
The constant was always there
But now it’s gone and there is
Less of the self
That was governed by tradition
Inhibited by subordination
Seen through the eyes of judgment
Turned on myself
Self, less direction
With time opened like a present
But unaware of the realms
Into which I can explore
That touch my soul with sweetness
To allow the full expression
To live through me
Self, less so much
So many places to fill.
A friend told me the other day that I was selfless these past two years. People who had one perception of me have gone out of their way to tell me they look at me differently. It makes me uncomfortable because there was never a time in my life that I thought I wouldn’t do this.
In many ways I am self LESS something through this caretaking process. And as there are “less” things clouding the environment it makes room for “more.” I feel like a butterfly breaking out of the chrysalis. Pushing, stretching, struggling to release the pain of grief and turn it into something beautiful.
Healing is hard. Recognizing that the past was important to shape you but has no place to give you pain in your present is paramount to letting go.
Doing something of great importance for someone you love can change you. Well, maybe you’re not changed at all but rather you can look at yourself through different lenses. Or possibly you are seeing through the eyes that couldn’t see, but see everything now! And there is great love.
I am Blessitude that I was able to take care of my Mom at the end of her life. Do I wish I could have done some things differently? YOU BET! But I don’t think I was selfless, because I gained so much more through this experience than it feels I have time left to process.
May you all see yourselves through the eyes of love and walk sure steps with direction from your soul!
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