Under a twinkling Christmas tree she lay in sweet slumber as the day slowly floated into the night.
It was happening again, and the pain was as real as the first time, perhaps more so. It was red hot and psychedelic as it traveled through every nerve ending in her body.
She cried.
The tears streamed down her cheeks, and she wailed as she choked back sobs.
She picked up the pay phone and to her surprise her sister was hanging on the other end.
“What’s wrong? Why are you so sad?”
“She’s dying again! She’s dying again and I don’t think I can go through it all over again.”
The air was cold and it was dark and damp. Life was seen in black and white with minor shades of gray at the horizon.
Her heart felt like it was in the Jolly Green Giant’s hand, though he was not so jolly as he squeezed it tightly and morphed into The Grinch who would steal another Christmas.
A man walked out of the mist and stood before her. She thought he was waiting for the phone, but on second look she realized it was her dad.
He wasn’t real, for how could he be? He passed away July 8, 2017 at 12:34pm. Besides, he wasn’t solid. As the wind blew his essence undulated – and she could see through him.
He didn’t say anything. He just stood there and watched her cry. She was not afraid.
She told her sister that Daddy was standing in front of her.
Her sister said, “Awww, he is there to comfort you. He is telling you that Mommy is okay.”
“She’s NOT okay! She is dying again – but not before she completely withers away right before my eyes for the second time! My heart…I CAN’T!”
“Go hug Daddy. Give him a hug and he will comfort you.”
“But he’s not solid – I don’t think I will feel him. I think my arms will just go through the thin air.”
“Just try it,” she said.
I stepped down off the platform and he raised his arms. I was skeptical, but the pain was incapacitating and if ever I needed a hug it was in that moment.
I reached out. He was smaller than he used to be so I had to bend down too. The scene which had been in black and white and shades of gray suddenly turned to blinking rainbow colors.
And in the next moment I felt his arms go around me and he pulled me to his chest and he was SOLID! HE WAS REAL! HE FELT HUMAN!!
I could smell him. He held me tight and he told me that everything was going to be okay – and he never said a word…
Suddenly I saw the Christmas lights blinking through eyes that were blurred with tears. I wiped my face which was completely wet and I tried to understand what had just happened. My logical mind told me that I had fallen asleep on the couch and it was all a dream.
But I knew better than that. It may have started as a dream, but it shifted into an altered state where I was very aware that I was sleeping on the couch and the Christmas tree lights were blinking in the background.
I could feel the pain every bit as fresh as it had been two years prior. And my tears were not just tears in my dream, they trickled down my cheeks and neck, as the top of my shirt was stained with the sadness.
I sat up and internally I heard myself question, “Wow, was that really you, Dad?”
And I heard him say, “Yes, Lorie Ellen, it was me.”
He never spelled my name correctly!
Blessitude!
Lorrie <3
12/6/2020
This really happened Friday night.
My Mom’s Angelversary is coming up next Saturday. I’ve experienced so much healing in the two years since her passing, but this “dream” brought it all back with such force. It is unfortunate, but Mommy came in for a hard landing.
I have had very lucid dreams where loved ones who’ve passed have come to visit. But I have never felt physically touched by one before! I will never forget this – NOT EVER!
My Dad and I had a difficult relationship while we shared our time here on earth. Forgiveness did not come easy for me, I had to work very hard for it. This dream, or whatever I might call it, was so full of perfect love I believe quite possibly that he, too, forgives me! I am Blessitude!
Have any of you ever experienced anything like this?
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This is so beautiful, and I’m so grateful to read it. This is an absolutely magical experience filled with love and definitely from the beyond. After my grandfather died, I dreamed about him a lot. There were times he was dying again in my dream, but he was other times not alive but still present. My grandmother at the time was talking to him a lot, also. She was holding on, and there was this sense that he was definitely around. I’ve had very few dreams while still awake, but I do journey as a part of my practice, so I usually initiate, intentionally, an altered state. I see loving-forgiveness in this experience of yours, and it’s full of Christmas magic.
I love your response, Ka! Thank you! I am happy that you sense the loving-forgiveness because I feel really different ever since it happened. It was magical…I’m not sure I captured the true essence of it in my writing…but I truly FELT him…PHYSICALLY! At a time that I am re-experiencing the grief of my Mom’s passing – to have my Dad be the one to come and comfort me is just…MIRACULOUS!! I really feel like it was my Christmas miracle.
I would love to hear more about your intentional ‘traveling’…how I wish we lived closer…it would be so much fun to share in person!
Take good care of yourself and your family…stay safe! And continue to live each moment…just as it is!!
<3 <3
I’m so glad, Lorrie 💖 on the same day my family had an encounter with my grandmother who passed away in July of 2020. It was so wonderful to experience her communication through another family member. It was after reading your post! I think it’s wonderful you felt him physically, and it would be so nice to talk in person. Stay safe my friend, sending lots of love!! 💖
Hi Ka😊 I am so happy you had that experience! I just read this only minutes after seeing a little bird with a pastel yellow belly was jumping around on my outside patio screen. Ever since my Dad passed, this little bird comes to visit periodically…and does crazy dad-like things. I have come to suspect that it is my dad popping in for one reason or another 😊 Today, or technically last night, is the 2 year anniversary of my Mom passing. I have many emotions swirling around for over a week now, but it is a blessing to feel touched by both of my parents during this time.
I asked a friend if she thought these things happened to everyone…and she said maybe…but not everyone notices them. I wonder what you think?
Sweet Blessings, Ka. And again…I am so happy you had contact from your grandmother 😊🧡🧡
Wow Lorrie. What a beautiful experience! I’m glad you found such deep healing with your father. I’ve never experienced a dream or altered state like that. Clearly, you live, dream, and feel deeply. Happy heart hugs for your Christmas miracle. 🙌🎄👼🏼
Awww…thanks, Brad. You nailed that right!! I do FEEL deeply…sometimes maybe a little too deeply…but it is all good 😉
It was transformational, Brad! As I stated my father and I had a difficult relationship and even though I tried to repair things while he was still walking the earth, it was nothing like what happened Friday night. I am so grateful!
I hope you are well and that you stay safe! Many Sweet Blessings to you for this holiday season!
To me, that means you have great capacity for living, feeling, and giving Lorrie. Yes, I’m safe, bored, and ready to be more social and connected. Thankfully, Christmas, decorations, and giving help open the doors. Holiday blessings my friend.
Those are ALWAYS great helpers, Brad! My heart hurts for so many who are struggling during this time. It is hard to know how to help when you have to be distant.
All good things to you!
Agreed and thank you for your loving spirit and our connection.
Likewise, Brad 🙂
What a powerful TRUE dream! Dreams are doors our beloved ones can use to help us. But we must not lock them to let our visitors come to us… your doors was open because of forgiveness. Because you had forgiven, that was the key, it had fallen from the door, and the door was open, and your father came. What a beautiful inspiring lesson of love and hope! Thank you for sharing my so very special friend ♥♥♥
Hello my Dearest! I knew you would feel the power of this “dream!” I can’t help but think that it has something to do with the person who did not call me back, also! I am so grateful for the love and joy that has filled a hollow space that existed inside for too long. I found it strange that my Dad was much smaller…it was almost like he was small until he mustered up all of his power for the hug…the human touch…and then he was regular sized!
Thank you my wonderful friend! I hope you are feeling so happy!!
The men finished the work last night at 6:10pm!!! And it is beautiful…now I will paint 🙂 🙂
Sweet Blessings, dear Frederic <3
(Oh…and I have missed the black hearts!!!)
Lorrie, I have both tears and goosebumps as I write this. What a beautiful and profound experience you’ve shared with us. How very special to be touched by the colours of life and everlasting love and forgiveness. So very powerful. It was your very own Christmas miracle. I love it. Blessings always my friend. ✨🙏
Hi Miriam 🙂
Yes! It truly is a miracle and I am so full of gratitude to have experienced it!! The lack of color and then the explosion of blinking rainbow colors…ah! It all fit so perfectly together. I could not have staged something so beautiful!
I hope you are well. Your photos from your last blog post are so beautiful! I am happy you are able to get out and move about…just be aware and stay safe my friend!
Wishing all good things for you <3
What a beautiful experience Lorrie! Thank you for sharing. I’ve had similar experiences and it’s always nice to hear that others experience these miracles in life too (and I’m not crazy, at least not crazy alone :0).)
HeHe…Kristen! You nailed that…at least not crazy ‘alone!’ I was blown away by the physical touch…like I said…I have had “visits” before, but this was incredible. It was so special because I really needed a hug and for it to be my Dad who gave it to me….AH!!!!
Stay well my friend. Hope all is bright in your world! <3
How uncanny Lorrie.
I am sitting here writing my blogpost for tomorrow — a conversation with my mother who visited me a couple of hours ago while I was lying in the bath.
I had to take a break as I find the emotions at times so intense I cannot type — and so, I popped in here to read and here you are with such an incredible and beautiful story of your own encounter from ‘the other side’.
Wow! I have goosebumps and feel this incredible light pulsating all around me.
Blessitude. Blessings and Blessed Be.
Much love and gratitude my friend.
Now the goosebumps are mine!! I love these synchronicities, Louise!! There are no accidents…no…no accidents at all. We connected at this time just to show us both that yes, indeed, what we experienced was REAL!
Sometimes I miss them both so much and the grief can wash over me at the most unexpected times. I am certain the holidays will always be a time that this happens…especially being that my Mom passed so close to Christmas.
Life goes on…and we have to live. I have tried so hard to not live my life with regrets. I’ve done pretty well…I do wish I had been able to repair my relationship with my Dad…but I now know that we are good…heck…better than good…we are SUPER!!
I wish you all good things and I hope you always have the ability to talk with your Mom. Stay well…be safe…and have a wonderful Holiday Season <3
Reading about the comfort you received from your father brought tears to my eyes. My dad also died in 2017 (January.) We had many years of not getting along, though became closer in his final years. I often hear his voice – just today! I sometimes feel my mother’s presence, but not as often as my dad’s voice like a thought in my head, but also his presence that tells me the voice is not just in my head. I’m so happy for you that you had this healing gift! Please believe that your mom is okay now. I’m sending big hugs and prayers for peace and joy. <3
And your response brought tears to my eyes!! Thank you JoAnna! I love that you shared your own story of how you still feel the connection…and hear your Dad’s voice! I feel so emotional right now, because it just confirms how we are all connected…not only when we walk this earth plane but even when we’ve moved on. I wasn’t sure how many people would share their experiences here…and I was a teeny bit wary about the post in general. But I am so happy that I pushed “publish” and so happy for those of you who shared too!
I know my Mom is good…it blew me away that I would dream AND FEEL EXACTLY the way I felt 2 years ago. I am different in many ways after going through that time with her. So many people told me I would be so grateful for that time…and at that time I didn’t think it would be possible. But it is so true. I know that even though I felt so helpless…and had no idea how to help her…I did the best I could do. And I know that she is grateful for that too!
It is a scary time and I think a lot of people shy away from it because they don’t know what to do. I wish I could help them all to know that JUST BEING THERE is what is important!
So many blessings being sent your way!!
EnJOY this time <3
You are helping me understand that when we sit with our loved ones dying process with them, as painful as it is, living through it can make us spiritually richer or deeper over time. Many blessings, Lorrie. You are a blessing. <3
Ah! Thanks Joanna 🧡 You just penned words that speak to my heart. I remember being so afraid and so full of grief. It was like I had to go to a different level of BEING to be able to be there for her. I had to shut down my pain in an attempt to share hers. I don’t know if that makes sense. I just know that even though I thought I couldn’t do it at the time (and again apparently in this ‘dream’) I DID do it and I have never regretted one moment!
Thank you friend! We are all connected and you just helped me see so clearly! 💜
Everything you wrote makes perfect sense. <3
Awesome post….brought tears to my eyes! I could fill your pain! And yes, I have had similar (not the physical touching though) experiences with deceased loved ones. In depth conversations and always an outpouring of love and guidance. I so remember my mom telling me how on her mom’s death bed, she was telling my mother who all had come to visit her that day. As she shared with mom, family and friends had stopped by with their expression of love for her. My mom told her that some of the people she had mentioned were no longer with us…..I know she said, they had a glow about them and weren’t warm like the others when they gave me hugs. My best to you this Holiday Season! Love and Blessings!!
Oh wow, Kirt!! Now you have me crying!! That is a powerful story that speaks to the miracle of how powerful love is! It’s funny, I remember thinking that my arms would just go through the air…but when they didn’t and I felt him hug me I remember thinking, “Oh, he’s not cold.” He wasn’t warm…but he wasn’t cold.
Thanks Kirt. I’m so happy you shared your story…and the fact that your loves one’s always share ‘an outpouring of love and guidance.’
Does it get any better than that?
Sweet Blessings, friend 😊
Wow! Lorrie! That is so awesome and beautiful! You are so very special with such depth of compassion.
Awwww…thank you Lonie!!! 😊 I appreciate you so much. It was such a powerful experience!! I’m not likely to ever forget it!!
I was so happy to see you today…perfect timing!! 😊🧡
Wow, you had a really beautiful experience Lorrie, to learn and to develop yourself even more.
At Saturday the 12. of December, it is 22 years ago, that my father left this world. I have felt his presence many times and he had been of help, when I asked him for advice about difficult life situations. My mother left in February this year and I sat with her in her last days at the hospital. Tough experience, but I’m also happy, that I did it and that she didn’t leave alone by herself. I do feel her, but something are stopping her from more contact for now and I do think, it is because I haven’t been able to get her ash into the ground yet because of Covid-19. I need to travel to Denmark and they are almost closed down, Germany too and we get advice not to travel anywhere for now. I hope, this will change and that she will be more present after that ceremony.
I had this kind of experiences since I was a kid and some of them are more comfortable than others.
I’m happy for you, that you got into such an understanding with your father.
Take very good care of yourself, dear friend <3
Oh, Irene…thank you 🙏 I am so sorry you lost your Mom…but I am so happy you got to be with her! I am certain it made her so much more comfortable. And your Dad’s Angelversary…the 12th…is also my Mom’s!!! So I know for certain that this Saturday you and I will connect as we think about our lost loved ones!
Covid has intervened in so many life events around the world. I am sorry you have not been able to bury your Mom’s ashes…I hope that things will get better soon and you will be able to do it. I wonder what actually makes their spirit come to us…? I have had several of these kinds of visits throughout my life…and I always think there is a message they are trying to tell us.
Any way…I’m so happy to hear from you…and I know that things will work out. I have to believe that with vaccines…and proper precautions…we can beat this disease!
Stay well, Irene…much love and light!!! 🧡
You are right, we can beat this disease, we just need to cooperate.
Much love to you too <3
Thanks Irene🧡🧡😊
This was so beautifully written, I felt every word! Thank you for sharing this personal story, I believe so many people have experiences like this but know how to share them or if they’ll be accepted, so thank you! Many Blessings!!
Awww…thanks so much for your heartfelt words, Tiffany! I know exactly what you mean as I wondered whether or not I should share it at all! I decided that all I have ever done here in my blog was express myself in the most authentic way possible…and this event happened exactly as written ..it was SO POWERFUL!! Thanks for adding your energy…hope the rest of your weekend is filled with good things 😊
Love that! I think that’s what makes a blog really stand out- be authentic! That’s why I started mine, to share my experiences, help give motivation! Thank you for being open!
Thank YOU, Tiffany!! Sweet Blessings 😊🧡
The heart can connect in so many ways that our brains can’t understand at times. I give you credit for putting your experience into words. That is such a challenge for me.
Stay connected to the love.
Wishing you a warm hearted Christmas.
Hi Ali 😊
Thanks so much for your heartfelt message. The connection was real and you are so right…it was beyond the “brain’s” comprehension.
And…even though it is a challenge, I see how you melt your experiences into words…
from your heart! Thanks for your Christmas wishes…sending them back to you with lots of love and light!
How utterly beautiful, heart-wrenching and so comforting. You are truly blessed, dear Lorrie. I’m sending blessings of love and peace from my heart to yours. Have the most wonderful Christmastime. God bless 💙💜
Hi Isabella! Thank you so, so much for your heartfelt response. This experience was truly unlike any I have ever had…and I was so comforted! I hope that your Christmas was full of wonder and light. And may all good energy come to you as this year ends, and another year begins! Sending lots of love! <3
A beautiful and heartfelt story and experience, Lorrie ~ it must have been uplifting as well as you entered the holiday season. You used the term “Angelversary” which is descriptive and emotional, and I love it – very powerful. You do have such a blessed life and you sharing it and giving us the opportunity to participate in it is special, thank you. Wishing you a wonderful year ahead ~
Awww…Randall! You’re the best…thanks for your kind words. I am blessed and it feels good to know it…I didn’t always. And I wish I could take credit for “Angelversary” but I first heard it from a dear friend.
Thanks for the New Year wishes…even with the craziness of this year I feel such hope for wonderful things. I wish the same for you!! 😊🧡
i wish i had that experience and could share it like you did, lorriebowden <3
Hi Vesna…thanks for your comment. I hope you one day get to experience something like this. Many Sweet Blessings!