I Can’t Believe I AM Five Years Old!

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Author unknown, Art (c) LorrieBowden.com

I have heard this poem for as long as I can remember. The Momma used to recite it, whenever someone or something turned 5 years old.  She memorized the poem from a birthday card that she received when she turned 5.  When I thought about this post, of course it jumped into my head!

I can’t believe I am five years old! It seems like yesterday that I started the weekend of my spiritual growth at Edgar Cayce’s A.R.E. (Association of Research and Enlightenment.)

That weekend saw my heart open and some pretty amazing energy that I will never forget.

I was part of a group dream experience that was incredible. Nine strangers made a vow to dream for one woman who had a problem.  When the group assembled (randomly) the next day our dreams told a story in perfect order, which could only have been Divine intervention!  I still get goosebumps when I think of it!

I sat in a restaurant as the ground underneath us undulated…up…down…up…down. My first thought was we were near a military base and they must have been doing bomb exercises in the ocean.  Then I found out that it was an earthquake!!  On the east coast??

Without fear, we drove through tunnels and over bridges to our next destination (immediately after the earthquake!) Little did I know that we drove to within 8 miles of the epicenter.  But it was my 50th birthday weekend and we were going to see Mary Chapin Carpenter in concert.  There was no way I would miss that!

Every morning we went to breakfast in the hotel lobby and all the other people were talking about the aftershocks they felt during the night. I slept like a baby and didn’t feel a thing.

The concert was outdoors and while we were lining up to enter the venue, the weather did not look promising. Suddenly it turned black and the organizers quickly ushered us into a building to protect us from a nearby tornado.  The lightning storm was incredible and the whole experience was quite surreal.

Most of the people left as soon as the weather broke a little. We stayed with maybe fifty others who held out just long enough to find out that she was going to honor us with a concert after all.  It was still raining.  We didn’t care as we traipsed through mud with our lawn chairs.  We wore large garbage bags for raincoats and shared one umbrella.  We placed our chairs in the front row and sang every song with her until she had to stop due to a local curfew.

The celebratory activities were over and it was time to drive from Virginia back to New Jersey. And we were racing the clock because Hurricane Irene was barreling up the east coast.

As you can see, I will never forget my 50th birthday weekend and the spiritual opening of my soul!  There was an earthquake, thunderstorm, tornado, and Hurricane Irene (she did not cause damage to our area) all in the same week!  (I often wondered if the energy unleashed by my years of living blind had something to do with the crazy weather events…hehe.)

I witnessed great fear everywhere I went. I wrote a poem called, “The Fear of the People,” because it was palpable, you could feel it in the air.  But the most amazing thing about that whole time is that I never personally felt the fear as my own.  My vibration of love was so strong that there was absolutely no possibility that fear could invade.

And it was beautiful. And it was liberating and I felt so free.  And I knew that the weekend was marked by these awe inspiring events so that there was no possibility that I wouldn’t notice just how amazing it all was. 

I wish I could tell you that I have been able to stay in that love energy and been able to banish all fear in the years that have ensued. I can’t.  But I can tell you that when I am able to do that, I remember.  And when I remember, I am able to do that!!

Now that’s the kind of cycle I don’t mind being a part of!!

Can I just say, “I am BLESSITUDE!” I am so blessed and full of gratitude for this journey I am on, and while it may not always seem easy, it is always amazing!  Thank you my friends for your love, your respect, and for teaching me every single day.  I am so happy to share this life with you ❤ ❤ ❤

Blessitude!

Lorrie ❤

8/20/16

I created two images for this post and decided I did not have to choose which one to use…I could use them both 😉

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MY FIVE (5) NEW YEAR’S CONCENTRATIONS!

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In two days’ time we get a fresh new year, a chance to wipe the slate clean, a chance to make changes. It is a time of renewal, a time to shake off what does not work, a time to step into new possibilities.

I decided many years ago to not make RESOLUTIONS. I decided instead to let the year prior run through my head, and to pick areas of concentration about things I would like to be different.

There are so many things to choose from! I have narrowed the field and the following are my “TOP FIVE NEW YEAR’S CONCENTRATIONS!”

I will be more AM AWARE.  I want to “be” in every moment and honor that time for what it is not what it could have or should have been.

I will BANISH JUDGMENT.  I will view things just as they are without labeling events as good or bad.  My new mantra is: It just “is!”

I will LISTEN to the voice of my soul.  I will allow that voice to be heard over all the other sounds and feelings that run interference to what is truth.

I will SURRENDER my false need to control and allow the beautiful flow of life to peacefully caress my soul.

I will continue my journey learning how to LOVE MYSELF.  I want to feel for myself the way God/Spirit feels for me.

In the face of so much change on our planet earth and with so much chaos erupting around us, I truly believe that we balance that energy with the love, compassion, kindness and empathy we extend to the world.

I thank you, my brothers and sisters, and I stand united in love with each and every one of you. Believe we make a difference because I know we do!

I wish you all every good thought for a NEW YEAR, a 2016 filled with LOVE, PEACE, AND PROSPERITY.

I AM BLESSITUDE!

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HAPPY NEW YEAR!!

Blessitude

Lorrie ❤

12/30/15

Spirit Paints Rainbows ~ Haiku 11/23/15

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 Spirit paints rainbows

Missed by those who would not see

With eyes of their heart

 

I would have missed it had I not looked around and taken the whole of the experience in with all of my senses.  To the south the sky was crystal blue and the sun shone brightly.  But over my shoulder, I felt the faintest drop of rain.  I turned to the east and large puffy clouds were gathering – a convention in the sky.  My eyes wandered north and I could see more rain, and then I caught a glimpse of color.

I was not sure I had seen anything, so I studied the canvas in the sky and to my delight Spirit painted perfection before my very eyes.  In all her glory my surprise rainbow appeared and the depth of her beauty radiated out to those who would see her.  It was almost as if she was painted just for me, as no one else seemed to notice her. 

I wanted to share this beauty so I told the 30 or so people who were all facing south, “Look!  There’s a rainbow!”  They started to turn as I got my camera ready and took aim.  I watched her disintegrate into the ether of the sky.  I pressed the button on my camera as the crowd moaned and groaned, somewhat annoyed I had disturbed them.

I couldn’t tell what my photo looked like in the outdoor sun and had completely forgotten about it until today.  I opened my photo gallery and there she was!  Just before she exited the canvas in the sky, she let me capture a portion of her beauty.

It made me think about how excited I get when I am touched by Spirit and I learn a lesson based in the love of Creation.  I run around and jump for joy and try to get everyone to “see” it.  But many times I am met with the same blank stares as when my surprise rainbow appeared to shine only for me.

I am reminded that I don’t need confirmation of the way my soul is touched, and that I can’t force another soul to feel, or think, or see what I do.  While we are all on this journey, and we are all connected, we all walk at our own pace and this is not a race!

I can’t walk the walk for another, this walk is mine.  And while I am thrilled to come upon another soul who is walking the same pace, I can’t force anyone to walk at mine.

But, knowing myself as I do, I’ve a feeling that I will always get excited when Spirit paints rainbows, and I will always jump for joy and try to get others to look!

Blessitude

Lorrie ❤

11/23/15

HAPPY THANKSGIVING, FRIENDS!!

Freak Accident ~ Broken

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I didn”t mean to hurt you…

Oh, but you did.

In fact, I didn’t know that I did.

I wondered about that as I cried through my pain.

I heard something but I didn’t think it was my place to reach out to you.  I don’t know you.

I knew you heard me cry…and I ask you…do you need to know someone to comfort them?

Well, it would have been uncomfortable.

I’m terribly sorry that offering a fellow being comfort would cause you discomfort…I am truly sorry about that.

And I am sorry that I hurt you.

Thank you.

I had a very freak accident yesterday.  I was in a public restroom and as I was closing my door with my hand around the edge of it, a woman pushed her door open harder than you could ever imagine.  The two doors were traveling towards each other…with my hand right smack in the middle of the explosive crash!

I think I made it worse because I yanked my hand back at the impact.  I know I screamed…and then I cried.  And the woman went about her business washing and drying her hands and promptly left.  She never said a word.

My hand immediately swelled and the restaurant staff got me ice.  They wanted me to see the lifeguards and make an incident report.  The lifeguards strongly suggested I get an x-ray.

I took the ice off after 20 minutes, and my hand was so grotesquely swollen I couldn’t look at it!  I did go to get an x-ray and I could not be more grateful that nothing was broken 🙂

It is very painful and very swollen.  I can’t use it so the reality of what our dominant hand does for us is very real to me.  I have thought a lot about the things I do with my hands and I am so blessed.  First I thought about the tennis match this morning that I would not be able to play for our team…then I thought about my latest art project that I was so excited to finish…then, in horror, I thought I couldn’t write!!!

It made me realize how much I take my body for granted.  It made me realize that life has the possibility of changing drastically in a millisecond.   It made me wonder how many times people hurt other people and have no idea that they did.  Worse than that, it made me wonder how many people know that they have hurt someone and are able to just walk away.

My words above were an imaginary conversation I had with the woman who must have “kicked” her stall door open.  I will always wonder who she was, what she thought, and what she might have been going through in her life.  It made me feel a little better to write about it.

I wrote the above yesterday.  Today my hand feels much better…in fact I am using it to type …not without pain…but at least it moves and the swelling has gone done some.  The photograph was taken at the beach restaurant a few months ago…I didn’t know what photo to include.  I thought about posting a photo of my hand…but it was so icky!

Blessitude

Lorrie ❤

1/21/15

Exiled

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The man in the tree

is not known by all

Many must walk by and never see him

He watches and wonders

where humanity is headed

He’s been stuck in this tree

for as long as he can remember

His hands tried to break free

but only became exposed roots

If he could speak he would tell those who would listen

to lead with their hearts

to curb the ego that might otherwise trap them

in the grips of bark or in the fires of hell

His pain is etched in every line on his face

He once was a man who hurt many

Locked in this trunk

he’s had eons to regret the lack of compassion

the urge to get ahead at the expense of others

The pain he inflicted

because he did not try

he did not know

because he did not care

He was so self absorbed

he did not see that the pain he caused others

locked his heart with no key

left him stranded inside this tree

The tree of wisdom is born of a fate

from a man who can not move

a man who is not seen

a man who must watch

and try to break free

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Blessitude

Lorrie

9/3/14

I was in New York City last week.  This tree was in Central Park (my very first time in the park) and when I saw it, something made me stop and take a picture.  I did not see the “man” until I later looked at the photograph.  The poem just poured out of me with such sadness and regret for those who live a life with no awareness of the impact they have on others (and their environment.)

I wish for us all to live with awareness.  To come from love; for ourselves, for all others, for life!

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A Few Scenes From the Shore

Brad, from Writing to Freedom, is such a great friend who is full of love and support for me….for all really.  He has been missing the east coast….the shore in particular.  This past weekend I told him I would say hello for him.  He then responded by saying that he would love a picture or two.  So here goes….

This is for you Brad!

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This is Bradley Beach, NJ.  I just love how the Jersey shore has decided to plant palm trees for the summer!  It is a relatively new idea…I suppose they last for the summer…but then it is sad to think what happens to them.

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Bradley Beach boardwalk…well…not really.  They replaced the boards with pavers.  It looks pretty but when you are walking you can really tell the difference between walking on boards and walking on cement!

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This is the view from under the bridge which connects Avon, and Belmar, NJ.  These towns got hit very hard during Hurricane/Superstorm Sandy.  Belmar was flooded under 6 feet of water a mile back from the ocean.

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The Shark River inlet.  I personally have never seen a shark in here….but….

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Belmar Fishing Club.  They have a sign out front that says, “For Members Only.”  When my son was very young he asked, “Why can’t they have more than four members?”

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The south end of Avon beach…called the “L.”  There are usually good waves here for surfing.

 

Just a little glimpse into the Jersey Shore on a beautiful Monday morning in July.

Brad…the shore misses you too!!  Much love ❤

 

A “Hot Mess”

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Hot Sauce…Hot Mess

That’s hot sauce!  Crashed to the floor…glass and sauce spattered across my tiles.  The scary part is I immediately thought, “I need to take a photo of that…I can probably write a post about it!”

The other reason I took a photo is because I was really stumped as to how to clean it up.  I was so happy that the puppy was in his crate.  Poor baby would have gotten the surprise of his life if he had gotten into that!

This was not the first fall and crash on the tiles in this kitchen.  I was brought back to a time when what had fallen out of the grocery bag was olive oil…yuk!  While both proved equally icky to clean up, I had to marvel at the difference in my reaction to the mess.

Years ago my first reaction was self-abuse.  I called myself a stupid idiot and probably a few other choice words.  I was yelling and berating myself and was so full of anger.  I can remember that when I finally cooled down and thought about it, it actually scared me.  It was such an overreaction to what had happened that I knew something else had to be going on.

I remember when I realized that I continued to abuse myself long after I left the abusive relationships that had plagued me.  The beauty of being able to remember is that it means you are no longer doing it!

Yes, this time my reaction was, “Oh, look at that…it’s kind of cool.  Almost looks like an art project.”  Then I thought I should take a picture…and then I started to clean it up.  No harm, no foul.  Well, except for the fact that I needed the hot sauce for my recipe!

I truly am blessed and full of gratitude for the transformative healing that I have gone through.  It was hard work but completely worth the time, pain, and effort.

Sometimes it is the little things in life that shine a light on progress.  Who would think that my “hot mess” would show me mine?