What Now? ~ Happy New Year

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So it’s all up to me?

The things I think

The energy I impart to the world

It’s a choice

          To see love or fear

          Darkness or light 

Hope and joy or despair?

IT HARDLY SEEMS FAIR…

That I didn’t realize this sooner

That I spent the better part of half a century allowing things to be less than optimal

But who am I to question the timing of things

I have also spent the better part of the last three years KNOWING that everything happens the way it is supposed to…with perfect timing!

So as I write these words

I think ahead to the strike of Midnight in two days

And I think about 2015

And what I would like for my goals

And there is knowing…

That I want to be conscious as much as is humanly possible

Of every thought that crosses my mind

I want to be aware of which side my energy lives in…in as many moments of the day as possible

I want to make sure that I am connected to ME

I want to be aware of ME every day

I no longer wish to be on auto pilot going through the motions of life

I want to be a willing participant in the creation of my days

Yes, I want to be the director

Wait…I take that back…I know that I am the director of my life

What I want to do is to be aware of the things that I think…

The tiny fleeting moments that hardly register as conscious thoughts

And yet are so very integral to the landscape of my day

In anticipation of the clock’s strike at midnight (something that is highly unlikely I will hear) this is my wish…my goal…my New Year’s resolution!

 

 

I have read so much over the last three years about how our thoughts direct the creation of our lives.  I believed it almost immediately.  It was a little hard to agree to the really nasty, horrible things that happened.  Yet, if I am honest I can see how my thinking contributed to certain events.

Monday I drove the “lead car” on Interstate 95 in south Florida.  It is not a very friendly highway.  In fact, it is full of aggressive drivers who are willing to put your life at risk if you do anything at all that displeases them.

If you drive any slower than 80 MPH you are likely to be cut off and flipped the bird.  I had to drive between 50-55 MPH to lead a pick-up truck that was pulling a trailer that was carrying a dresser and huge mirror to my house.  Phew!

My first thought was, “Someone is going to kill me!”  And then I had to laugh when my passenger pointed out that I would be the first person to admonish someone else for driving that slow on the highway.  My next thought was, “Oh, no!  It looks like it is raining up ahead!”  I envisioned the beautiful wood being ruined by the pop up Florida downpour.  I won’t even go into the thoughts I had about the dresser not being tied down or the mirror riding on top of a pile of scrap metal in the back of the pick-up!

Then I stopped my thoughts dead in their tracks.  I couldn’t believe the negativity that was flowing from me.  I decided to do an about face and I thought that I was perfectly safe driving at that speed.  Then, even though I could see the rain pouring from the clouds in front of me, I thought the clouds would part and the sun would shine.  Then I pictured in my mind what the dresser with the beautiful mirror would look like in my bedroom…safe and sound…completely intact!

And guess what?  It happened exactly like I had planned…or thought.  And I couldn’t have been more grateful that I stopped myself from thinking about the other scenario!  Imagine it…someone cuts me off for driving so slow but not before the dresser and mirror fly off the truck and splinter into a million pieces…but not before the downpour completely soaked the wood.  Now WHY in the world would I want to create THAT???

I wish you all the most beautiful blessings in life.  I wish you all understanding and peace…yes…peace and grace.  There is something about that word that keeps coming up for me and I pray that you feel it in your life!  Happy New Year…welcome 2015!!

❤ Lorrie

 

Photo credit
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My healing journey on the continuum of "It's all wrong" to "It's all right!" I love art and the creative process, reading, writing, and playing tennis.

45 thoughts on “What Now? ~ Happy New Year

  1. Happy New Year and may 2015 Bring you Bountiful Blessings!! Your blog gave me a chuckle in the sense that I also have those worst case scenario thoughts but you know God is good. The Lord knows we are not perfect and have doubts, flaws, fears, and imperfections. Even in the midst of some of the worst and most troubling events of my Life I put my trust in God. Unlike people who chastise us for being afraid Jesus is merciful and compassionate. Always understanding we are but fragile humans. On the flip side I have less fears than before thanks to Buddhist meditation. I am slowly becoming calmer and better able to handle life crisis. I complain less. Accept and adapt more. I roll with Life’s hills and valleys. I’m looking forward to 2015!! ❤ 🙂

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    1. I love your reply!! Everything you mentioned is so desirable to me! I will be mindful to your words as I navigate this beautiful new year!! I know so much of our lives come down to what we make of it…the good…the bad….and the truly ugly!! Everything rides on our ability to walk through it all. Having faith and GRACE (I can’t tell you how this word keeps coming up for me!) will see us through! Much love to you as you make your way…Peace & Grace!! ❤

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  2. Your first thoughts about the rain and the furniture help me remember that it’s only human to have those negative thoughts pop up now and then. The best thing I’ve been able to do when that happens is to laugh gently and lovingly at myself, then turn the thoughts to positive. Hopefully we will get better with practice.

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    1. Hi JoAnne! Yes…practice is the key. I am amazed at how many little thoughts come through that are negative. I try to look back and see when this started…hopefully it hasn’t always been so!! Now, with practice, I hope to turn this around. It seems contradictory to be full of faith and to have these negative thoughts at the same time!!

      I wish you many beautiful things…and positive thoughts for this new year! ❤

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  3. It’s good to stay on the positive side whenever possible. It is possible to unintentionally wish for things which we don’t even believe could come true, but they do, therefore, yes, we have to carefully review what the daily fabric of our thoughts looks like. Is it getting to dark or too grey? Time to add some lighter shades and more cheerful colors. At the end of the day, our plans rarely get implemented exactly as we imagined. It’s because of everything so much connected and because of so many things which one cannot change and which do not depend on us. When we look back at our lives, we are able to see how one event lead to another and how we either prevented something from happening or something happened as if from itself. It’s good to stay on the sunny side, well, when we are feeling good we can with ease make other lives more pleasant, as well.
    You Lorry have always been a very positive person, somebody to look up to, and I wish you all the best for this year, and especially good health and opportunities to always stay on the lives light side! Happy new year and lots of good thoughts which allow you to be and stay the loving Lorry who we all know!

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    1. Your words are beautiful Inese….I thank you from the bottom of my heart. This is exactly what I needed to hear in this moment. I’m just going through a transition…and I know it is all going to work out exactly as it is supposed to. There has been a lot of stress but there has also been so much good. I am blessed…and I have strong faith. I understand the circle of life, but surprisingly I have not dealt with a lot of death in my life. Both of my parents are still alive at age 86 and I know that is amazing. I love your analogy about color…and how we can just “paint” a little cheer into a day…perfect!! You have been such a wonderful source of support to me, and I want you to know how grateful I am for you. I have a very strong desire to be aware of my thoughts….and I wish them to be positive. Thank you for your well wishes. I send you back all good thoughts and blessings for the coming year!! ❤

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  4. I believe it is in catching our fearful thoughts at the edge of cliff and stepping away from the edge that is the big win. Can we ever stop having them? You are amazing, inspirTional, kind, loving and open hearted. Thank you for sharing your vulnerability and teaching us all how to be more graceful and live in a state of blessitude!!!

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    1. Thank you Lisa…Thank you for your very kind words…and thank you for adding such wisdom!! Yes…catch those thoughts at the edge of the cliff. It certainly feels as though my toes even hang over that edge at times. I’m so grateful for you ❤

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