This Tiny Moment of Non-Intrusion

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In this space

this tiny moment of non-intrusion

I AM connected

connected to the power of the Divine

the power of Creation

the seed that is planted

In each and every one of us

the seed that connects us

not only to creation

but to each other

this space

this tiny moment of non-intrusion

allows me to see everything

I no longer need the questions

I no longer seek the answers

I AM

It IS

We ARE

Blessitude

Lorrie

5/11/15

I Remember…An Odyssey ~ Forgiveness

This is a series of poems that follow a very deep healing experience.  I put a disclaimer here to say that it deals with child sexual abuse and while I hope it affords healing, I beg you to proceed only if you are in a place of safety and can handle it.

Unfortunately, I cannot figure out how to get the series to scroll in order…here at WP…the last post shows first.  So I am going to list the poems in order right here…each poem’s name will be linked to the post.  Each new post will also have links in order.

Thanks for visiting and leaving your footprint here!

I REMEMBER…AN ODYSSEY

1).  Introduction & Haiku

2).  The Funny Thing About Truth

3).  The Journey to…

4).  He Said I Have Anger

5).  The Long Sleepless Night

6).  Broken Arrow

7).  Safe

8).  Alone

9).  On The Verge

10).  Shred

11).  The Thread

12).  Vindication

13).  Another Inch…Perhaps a Mile

14).  Emancipation

15).  Forgiveness

 

FORGIVENESS

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The colors dance upon my mind

A kaleidoscope of shapes

Changing colors melt

And turn into another

All smooth

All swift

Synergistic

Beautiful

Is this what forgiveness feels like?

Free wheeling

Running

Jumping

Weightless

Free

Smiles extend out

Better yet they come back

Gentle

Easy

Loving

Kind

Things that annoyed me before

Are simple

No worries

No rushing

We’ll get there

No hassle

It will all work out

Peace!

Yes, if I had to name this

I would name it peace

With joy!

Yes, add joy to peace

That is what this is

And freedom!

Don’t forget about freedom

Peace + Joy + Freedom

The sun shines brighter

The ocean smells better

And every flower I pass

Has more essence than it had before

Every person I see has more soul than ever before

Let the smile in my heart reach out

Through my lips

Let the laughter of my soul reach out

Through a song

And let the love of my being reach out

Through a hug

A hug for creation

A hug for the universe

If only I had known what forgiveness felt like

Sooner

I am so grateful to each and every one of you who walked on this healing journey with me.  The support you gave to me helped in ways that are real, that are palpable.

I am so happy that I scheduled this series in advance.  I knew that it would be hard for me to post on consecutive days for two weeks in a normal time span.  But the past week has been anything but normal.

I had to drive up north to see my Lyme doctor.  The plan was to drive two days, see my son on Sunday (SonDay :)), see my doctor on Monday and drive two days home.

Saturday night I was informed that my father most probably has lung cancer…they are awaiting the biopsy.  The doctor told him that due to his age (86) and current health, he would recommend that he not do any treatment. He told him to go home and live out his life.  My father said, “The hell with that…take the damn thing out!”  He plans to live to 103 and be shot by a jealous husband.

My heart told me that I should go to visit him Sunday.  My mind intervened and said, “Are you sure?”  I listened to my heart and with the comfort of my son by my side, I made a “surprise” visit…a very surprise visit.  I am so happy that I was able to listen to my heart.

I saw my doctor Monday morning and continued on the road from there.  I was in Virginia when the assisted living facility where The Momma lives called.  She was on her way to the hospital.

I was 15 hours away.  I can’t begin to tell you how frightened I was.  I called my best girlfriend, M, and told her.  She was in her car on the way to The Momma within 5 minutes!  She saved both our lives that day.

The emergency room doctor did an EKG and was going to send The Momma home…her heart was fine.  But, you see, my girlfriend had had a pulmonary embolism a year and a half ago.  She told the ER doctor that The Momma’s symptoms were identical to hers when she had one.  The doctor did not like being told what to look for.  But my girlfriend did not care!  She did not leave him alone until he consented to do a test.

He ordered a CT scan and then didn’t want to show his face when it turned out that The Momma did, indeed, have a pulmonary embolism!

We drove through the night to get to her.  I don’t think I could have slept anyway.  By the time I got to lie down and take a small nap I had been awake for 31 hours.

She is having treatment in the hospital and is in pretty good spirits.  As luck would have it, the hospital was so busy the only room they could give her was a private room.  She keeps exclaiming how nice the room is 🙂

I know how rare it is to have both parents aged 86 (The Momma will be 87 next month) still with me.  I also know that we all walk a different journey here on earth. I am so grateful for the healing that I so very recently received and worked through.  It wasn’t too late.  It was perfect, divine timing.

This post is titled “Forgiveness” because I finally understand what it means.  It does not mean that I condone the behavior or actions of someone who hurt me.  It means that I can be empathetic and I can look at what had happened in their life that made them the way they are.  It means I can say and more importantly believe that they did the best they could at that time with what they had to work with.

As I said above, we all walk our own journey.  We all make decisions.  From the bottom of my soul I thank you for deciding to walk a little while with me!

Blessitude!

Lorrie ❤

4/5/15

OH!!!  AND HAPPY EASTER!!!♡♡♡

I will be taking some time off from posting here so I can catch up reading what you all have been up to! 😉

I Remember…An Odyssey ~ The Funny Thing About Truth

This post is a part of a series of writings during a time of deep healing and transformation.  The following are links to the other writings in the series in chronological order:  Introduction & Haiku, The Funny Thing About Truth, The Journey to …, He Said I Have Anger, The Long Sleepless Night, Broken Arrow, Safe, Alone, On The Verge, Shred, The Thread, Vindication, Another Inch…Perhaps a Mile, Emancipation, Forgiveness

*Disclaimer…Some of this subject matter is sensitive in nature.  Please read and explore in safety.

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What is at the base of the fear?

Why would it be so terrible to know what kept me locked

in a prison of denial at best

oblivion at worst

I pride myself with knowing truth

Honoring it

So why would I be content to set a portion of it aside

To delegate one truth as more important than another

To send one truth so far away from my wounded psyche

It may as well have belonged to someone else

The funny thing about truth is

I think it only belongs to the person who is willing to

Look at it

Dissect it

Question it

Live it

Honor it

And most important

Accept it!!

Blessitude

Lorrie ❤

3/23/15

Mission Accomplished

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The seemingly impossible task of clearing out the Momma’s home and getting her settled in her new space, all by the end of 2014…December 31, 2014 by the stroke of midnight…was accomplished!   At 10:00pm my SUV, jam-packed with the things I couldn’t fit into her new space but couldn’t possibly get rid of, pulled out of her driveway.

I actually saw the ball drop at Midnight because it is an hour drive home and then I had to unload the truck into a giant pile in my living room.  Yes, some things will leave and make the trip up north…the baby grandfather wall clock that was promised to my son…the flat screen TV that will replace an old tube TV.  The rest I’m not sure where it will all fit in my tiny condo that is already bursting at the seams.

This is creating a “forced purge” of my things to make room for her things.  And I stop to ponder things, and our attachment to them.  Do we keep them because we fear we will forget our life at that time?  After all, why do I need a frilly glass cake dish?  I don’t eat cake!  But when I came across it, I couldn’t put it in the “donate” pile.

I don’t know…it, along with many other things remind me of The Momma.  The young Momma…full of life.  Always working hard trying to make ends meet.  She didn’t have an easy life.  In fact, it was at most times very difficult.  But she never complained.  She just kept putting one foot in front of the other and she ALWAYS made sure we were taken care of.  She couldn’t always protect us, heck, she couldn’t protect herself.  But we always had a roof over our heads, food on the table, and clothes on our backs.

Now she is nearing the end stage of her life here on earth.  She is scared.  I want to help her, but the ways that she needs help now are very personal and between her and God.  One thing I can say for sure is she continues to put one foot in front of the other.  She may not like that she has basically lost all of her independence, but she has accepted that “this is her life now.”

I am so grateful that we were able to get everything done.  I was so busy I barely had time to think, let alone write.  Now comes the emotional part.  The time that the energy that lives in all the mementos I kept, release their hold on the psyche of my past.

Renewal.

Isn’t that what a New Year is for?

One thing I know for sure is that life does change.  And in the process, so do we.  This is when I need to take a page out of The Momma’s book and accept that “this is my life now.”

I wish you all Grace in the changes you face in your life…acceptance.

Blessitude

Lorrie

1/4/15

I Accept this Love

 

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It seems I am overflowing with love!

My heart is attached to the tears of joyfulness

The love that rebounds and comes back to me

strikes a chord on the harp of my heart

which sets tear flowing from my eyes

They are not tears of sadness…no…

they are tears of so much joy and happiness

the tears of truth

the truth of eternity that lives in our soul

the truth that mystics have talked about

the truth they have seen

the truth of the heart

singing the song of love

Love is the one factor that means EVERYTHING!

My joyful state is blessed by the people who radiate this energy

up from their souls

they give it so openly

so freely

and I accept it

I accept this love

this beautiful energy surrounded in white

radiating rainbow colors to the edges

I accept it

I honor it

I AM it

Thank you for this

the gift of gifts

for me to know that I am capable of going to this worshipped place

for me to know that I am accepted there

for me to know that I deserve this love

My world is so full of beauty and I am so grateful

I honor the divineness

I shower in the droplets of dew

and I bask in the rippling waters where the sun shines

and hearts are free

I am Blessitude!

Blessitude

Lorrie

9/5/14

 

I was responding to a comment by Amy, at Her Lady Pink Rose, and in the middle of my response to her this poem came flying out of my pen!  She is such a dear Angel and she is truly beautiful.  Her words to me always spark a light in my heart.  This particular response hit me hard and the inspiration just flew.  So dear, dear, Amy…this one’s for you! ❤ ❤

(And now I am jumping in the shower and high tailing it to our friend’s house for dinner….I’m late!!!  So I won’t respond till later 🙂 )

Sisters in Sunrises – Shark Photobomb!!

Shark Photobomb!
Shark Photobomb!
With an arrow mark to find the shark
With an arrow mark to find the shark
Poor resolution. But he's there!
Poor resolution. But he’s there!

Imagine my surprise when I tried to photograph a flying pelican, and later realized a shark had photobombed the shot!  You have to look real close (zoom in) – the pelican is to the left of center…and the shark is to the left of that above the break line in surf.  See, I knew there were sharks of there…The chances of my dream of ocean swimming are getting smaller…and smaller…

 

Almost Here
Almost Here

I was so excited to get up to see the sunrise today.  A fellow blogger (who has an amazing site, Debi Bradford Photography…at…debibradford,)and I,  decided to compare the sunrise today.  (please understand she is a “real photographer” while I shot my photos with my cellphone…you get the picture…haha)

Balance
Balance

Debi urged me to spend time with the sunrise.  She said, “I highly recommend witnessing a sunrise as often as possible.  There’s just something about it – the solitude, the miracle – what it does to your soul is incredible.”  Turns out she is correct.  I feel energized and excited to walk in this day with a renewed spirit.  It did touch my soul and I am very grateful.

There it is!
There it is!

Debi said we’d be Sisters in Sunrises!  I like the way that sounds.  I like the way I feel.  I will forgive myself for the countless sunrises I have missed…I live a block away from seeing this every morning!  I have learned to accept that everything happens when…and the way it is supposed to.  So, as with many other hardships or beautiful things missed, I will not have regrets.  This is the time I am supposed to explore this.

Goodbye for now...
Goodbye for now…

Thank you Debi!  I am so happy I did this.  I have set my intentions for this beautiful day and I live in the place of love.  For those of you who can personally witness a sunrise, I too, urge you to do it.  You will not be disappointed.  And for those who are not able to be there in person, I truly hope that the energy I experienced is living in these photos and that you receive a piece of this time.  Namaste

Blessitude

Lorrie

5/3/14