I Don’t Have a Place For This

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As I unpack and establish order, each item placed just so, I hold this in my soul and I realize I Don’t Have a Place For This.

It’s something I buried years ago, under the landscape of my soul, beneath the light of day and terrified night, hidden so well I could not recognize it.

And it bubbled to the surface, bobbing to and fro. I banished it to the unclaimed luggage area because it didn’t look like mine.  But it wouldn’t go away.

And then the pain of my entire life time…the SOURCE of all things dark and separated that stacked atop one another building the wall of the well of my imprisoned soul, sat there and refused to go away until I picked it up and held it in my hands.

I turned it over…and over.

It didn’t feel right but there was a memory.  Vague at first, but building to a crescendo of shattered thoughts flying around the corners of my psyche that told me, yes indeed, this does belong to me.

And now I have it.  Uncovered in its black truth and ugly being and I struggle with the reality and as I continue to unpack and place things just so, I realize I Don’t Have a Place For This.

Blessitude!

Lorrie ❤

6/19/17

Only to Love

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As I walk so freely on my path

I know in my heart

That I am guided by love

The faith I feel as each obstacle is unveiled

Surpasses the fear of the multiple unknowns

I look inside through different eyes

And there is a kaleidoscope of colors

That grow in their hue

And depth of meaning

What once was used to hurt

Now only shows in shadows

Weeds to be plucked

Origin to be noticed

I am growing my love

From the inside out

And the light that surrounds my being

Has an essence that I felt before

And I remember

When my soul

Was tethered

Only to love

Blessitude!

Lorrie ❤

05/07/17

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A Relapse of Lyme Disease ~ The Treatment

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THE TREATMENT

That empty space is me contemplating the treatment

HOT TOPIC!

The treatment can make the symptoms worse than the disease

Plus the idea of the treatment…

thinking about the effects of long-term

ANTIBIOTIC USE

can absolutely freak me out

If I let even one brain cell contemplate it…

SO I DON’T

I refuse to think about it

And I just wish I could forget it.

Why can I so easily forget things I want to remember

and yet

when I WANT to forget

this ONE THING…

Just one little thing…

it sits there

in the back of my mind

like a boulder

and even if ten men were to try to move it…

they couldn’t

Yeah…

It sits there…

Just like that

Blessitude

Lorrie ❤

2/19/17

Hello my friends!  I hope this beautiful Sunday finds you all living from your soul!

I am just over a month into treatment, and I won’t lie and say that it has been easy.  But I am constantly aware of how I am THINKING, and for the most part I have been in whatever moment I am in!  And in those moments things can change swiftly.

The FEAR I feel from thinking about the treatment can be overwhelming at times, but the alternative is to allow the bacteria to completely take over my body.  So I think positive thoughts, and I treat myself with love and kindness (a new paradigm I wish I knew about sooner 😉 )

I am BLESSITUDE!  I thank each and every one of you for the love and support that you so freely extend.  May you all live in a place of truth and love ❤

Lorrie

THE LINKS WILL BE ACTIVE AFTER EACH POST IS PUBLISHED.  ACTIVE LINKS WILL APPEAR IN RED.
  1. And I Thought I Was Done With That!
  2. I Already Fought This War
  3. Like a Ton of Bricks
  4. I Was Positive It Would Never Return
  5. You Can’t Control Everything
  6. Failure
  7. The List
  8. The Treatment
  9. I’m in The Happiest Place on Earth
  10. She Asked Me What It Feels Like
  11. Game On!
  12. A Pep Talk From An Angel

A Relapse of Lyme Disease ~ And I Thought I was Done With That!

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My heart just couldn’t go there

My mind dared to travel down the road

Short distances…before it turned back

Because it too

Could not stand to face the scenery

Just beyond awareness

After all,

I already traveled down that road

I already met with

all the possible experiences on that route

I met them…

I lived them…

I lived THROUGH them…

AND I THOUGHT I WAS DONE WITH THAT!

I thought I learned

All I needed to learn

And I thought I felt

All I needed to feel

But I guess I was wrong.

Again.

Blessitude

Lorrie ❤

1/30/17

Hi friends.  I’ve been a bit absent as I have had a few things to deal with, the least of which is the return of serious symptoms of Lyme Disease.

This post is part of a series of writings that flowed from this experience.  The links below are listed in order and will be active just after each post is published.  Thanks for taking the ride 🙂  Lorrie

  1. And I Thought I Was Done With That!
  2. I Already Fought This War
  3. Like a Ton of Bricks
  4. I Was Positive It Would Never Return
  5. You Can’t Control Everything
  6. Failure
  7. The List
  8. The Treatment
  9. I’m in The Happiest Place on Earth
  10. She Asked Me What It Feels Like
  11. Game On!
  12. A Pep Talk From An Angel

Haiku ~ & “Merry Christmas”

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In life and in death

You can not deny the truth

Spirit moves your Soul!

 

On this Sunday, one week before we celebrate the birthday of Christ, I am solemn…

This week I learned of a birth, and a death, in a matter of hours.  One tiny little human embarking on the most miraculous journey, and one who didn’t appear finished with his, left abruptly.

I contemplate this process and the one thing I come up with is that Spirit moves our Soul and we can be a willing participant, or we can let the struggles of life drown out what we hear.  We can let fear pervade our being and go searching for comfort in every place It can never be found, or we can move to the tune of our hearts, orchestrated by the power of the Divine!

This week before Christmas, I offer these words as a gift, a reminder…

Listen to your Soul

It will never steer you wrong

Blessed love inside

Blessitude!

Lorrie ❤

12/18\16

CONSEQUENCES ~ I Am Not Completely Unscathed

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I am not completely unscathed

Try as I may to protect my heart

The pounding insults start to leave their mark

Is this a test to see how well I am doing?

Bring back to back assaults from the original abusers to see how I would fare?

And what exactly is it

That doesn’t allow me to just cut the ties

To just walk away

And not turn back

What is their hold on me that doesn’t let me not turn into it again?

I don’t have the answers in this moment

But I do know

That I didn’t cower in a corner

For either one of them!

I lost my cool with the first

But that made me better able to deal with the second

A tag team of abuse

It is not fun

There’s a distant smell of fear

No.  I’m not completely unscathed

But I’m not a victim either!

Blessitude!

Lorrie ❤

11/20/16

POSTS IN THE SERIES

(Links will become active after each writing is posted)

1). Consequences ~ The Fishing Expedition

2). Consequences ~ The Fallout

3). Consequences ~ The Bottom Line

4). Consequences ~ The Continuum of Light

5). Consequences ~ I Am Not Completely Unscathed

6). Consequences ~ Choices

7). Consequences ~ THANKSGIVING

“It Was Time For That To End”

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He said.

She said.

They said.

Everybody scrambles to put together their memories of how it all went down.

Did I remember it all correctly?

If you listen to the other version you wonder if you both shared the same time and space at all!

And then there is a voice of reason.

“It sounds like it was time for that to end.”

Period.

Not an exclamation.

Just a statement.

A statement of truth.

And as my mind tends to wander back into history to sort things out,

to gain clarity,

to understand…

The only thing that requires understanding is…

“It Was Time For That To End.”

Blessitude!

Lorrie ❤

10/24/16