CONSEQUENCES ~ THANKSGIVING!

This is the last post in the series titled, “Consequences.”  The following list depicts the other postings with links in chronological order:

1). Consequences ~ The Fishing Expedition

2). Consequences ~ The Fallout

3). Consequences ~ The Bottom Line

4). Consequences ~ The Continuum of Light

5). Consequences ~ I Am Not Completely Unscathed

6). Consequences ~ Choices

7). Consequences ~ THANKSGIVING

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The shame and condemnation I feel is real

But at this time I NEED TO FEEL SOMETHING ELSE!

This is about healing

And there is no greater tonic

No natural herb

No laying on of hands

That can affect a greater change than

FORGIVENESS

AND

LOVE

FORGIVENESS AND LOVE

We are not perfect

And though my first reaction after the fallout

Was to act with reproach and disgust for myself

I know in my soul

That is not how to heal

We can look to the Universe

And say, “Why Me?”

(I did)

Or we can look and say,

“Thank you for this opportunity to learn…

Thank you for this reminder of WHO I AM

and therefore,

WHO I AM NOT!”

I have made decisions for a lifetime

Based on how I thought I would feel in the future

And the funny thing is

That those decisions have caused me such grief in the NOW

The truth is

That the future is not guaranteed

And I have no possible idea of how I may feel at that time

As I write this

I know that it will be posted on Thanksgiving morning

And I feel a shift in my heart for which I am so grateful

There’s no rule that says

You have to stay in a person’s life

Just because you share the same blood

I respect each individual’s right

To be who they are

Even if I can’t respect who that is

I understand life experiences and circumstances

Helped to shape that

But I don’t have to agree

With the way they conduct themselves

Or the way they treat people…myself included

I just don’t feel comfortable

Sharing space and breathing the same air

Yes, on this day I give thanks

For finally understanding

That I can’t change other people

And if being in their world is abusive to me

Then I have the choice to not put myself there.

Blessitude!

Lorrie❤

11/24/16

HAPPY THANKSGIVING!

Thank you all, beautiful people, for the love you show.  I am inspired by each and every single one of you!  Thanks for following “Consequences” and for the wonderful support you freely extend.  May we all realize the amazing things in our lives and have Thanksgiving…and Blessitude for it all! ❤

POSTS IN THE SERIES

(Links will become active after each writing is posted)

1). Consequences ~ The Fishing Expedition

2). Consequences ~ The Fallout

3). Consequences ~ The Bottom Line

4). Consequences ~ The Continuum of Light

5). Consequences ~ I Am Not Completely Unscathed

6). Consequences ~ Choices

7). Consequences ~ THANKSGIVING

CONSEQUENCES ~ Choices

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It is a choice

There is no other way that you can state it

Calling it a choice

Implies fault and condemnation

For it truly is in your hands

Whether you stay and take the hit

Or if you keep yourself so far out of the inner circle of abusive energy

That there would be no way for it to touch you

I know deep in my heart

That the only thing that exists for me in these “pseudo” relationships

Is fear, pain, and then guilt and shame

So one has to stop and wonder why

I would allow myself to be in this cycle of dysfunction

And the only possible answer is

That I crave what these relationships

COULD BE

What they are

SUPPOSED TO BE

What I

WANT THEM TO BE

And so I banish any notion that things could never change

And I believe that because I have changed

That there is the possibility that they have too

And every damn time I go in

Like a puppy dog wagging my tail

And I get kicked!

And every time

I nurse my wounds

and say,

“I’m never going back in there!”

And then I always do!

I hope this time is different…

Blessitude!

Lorrie❤

11/23/16

POSTS IN THE SERIES

(Links will become active after each writing is posted)

1). Consequences ~ The Fishing Expedition

2). Consequences ~ The Fallout

3). Consequences ~ The Bottom Line

4). Consequences ~ The Continuum of Light

5). Consequences ~ I Am Not Completely Unscathed

6). Consequences ~ Choices

7). Consequences ~ THANKSGIVING

CONSEQUENCES ~ I Am Not Completely Unscathed

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I am not completely unscathed

Try as I may to protect my heart

The pounding insults start to leave their mark

Is this a test to see how well I am doing?

Bring back to back assaults from the original abusers to see how I would fare?

And what exactly is it

That doesn’t allow me to just cut the ties

To just walk away

And not turn back

What is their hold on me that doesn’t let me not turn into it again?

I don’t have the answers in this moment

But I do know

That I didn’t cower in a corner

For either one of them!

I lost my cool with the first

But that made me better able to deal with the second

A tag team of abuse

It is not fun

There’s a distant smell of fear

No.  I’m not completely unscathed

But I’m not a victim either!

Blessitude!

Lorrie❤

11/20/16

POSTS IN THE SERIES

(Links will become active after each writing is posted)

1). Consequences ~ The Fishing Expedition

2). Consequences ~ The Fallout

3). Consequences ~ The Bottom Line

4). Consequences ~ The Continuum of Light

5). Consequences ~ I Am Not Completely Unscathed

6). Consequences ~ Choices

7). Consequences ~ THANKSGIVING

CONSEQUENCES ~ The Continuum of Light

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If indeed there is a piece of softness that I can find

A piece of softness that can foster movement of my thoughts

To a place inside my soul

Where perfect love resides

It would be that I honor the rights of all people

To be

And think

And act

The way they need to

Just because what they do appears to affect me and the way I think and act and feel

Doesn’t negate their rights as an individual in this world

I can only control my little piece of real estate in the cosmic Universe

And if I find it too difficult to control my thoughts, feelings, and actions

Then all I need to do is to stay away from those

That I could NEVER come to a place of compromise

Because the way we think

And the things we believe

And the actions we take

Are at complete opposite ends

Of the Continuum of Light

Blessitude!

Lorrie❤

11/18/16

POSTS IN THE SERIES

(Links will become active after each writing is posted)

1). Consequences ~ The Fishing Expedition

2). Consequences ~ The Fallout

3). Consequences ~ The Bottom Line

4). Consequences ~ The Continuum of Light

5). Consequences ~ I Am Not Completely Unscathed

6). Consequences ~ Choices

7). Consequences ~ THANKSGIVING

CONSEQUENCES ~ The Bottom Line

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What is at the bottom of these feelings

When the layers are pulled back what is it that exists at the core that is causing so much pain

So much anger and animosity

The bottom line is I spent forever ignoring this truth – laying the guilt, blame, and shame on every place except for the one place that it deserves to be

All the years I felt guilty because I thought I was the one who engineered the distance

It was a fallacy I concocted so as not to accept the truth that HE is the one who created the separation

HE is the one who lets time go by

And I hardly ever enter his mind

And apparently if I do I am easily brushed aside

Just like I’ve always been

That is unless he picks up the phone to make one of three phone calls in an entire lifetime

And the motivation to do so is to celebrate…gloat…perpetuate hate…violence…and racism

To the one he knows would not agree

To the one he thinks he can continue to inflict pain upon

To the one he apparently knew was different from the start and so he worked tirelessly to beat her into submission

I get all wrapped up in what should be which only creates a chasm in dealing with what IS!

Yes.  The bottom line is that I have felt excluded my entire life and I finally realize that is a GOOD THING!

Blessitude!

Lorrie❤

11/16/16

POSTS IN THE SERIES

(Links will become active after each writing is posted)

1). Consequences ~ The Fishing Expedition

2). Consequences ~ The Fallout

3). Consequences ~ The Bottom Line

4). Consequences ~ The Continuum of Light

5). Consequences ~ I Am Not Completely Unscathed

6). Consequences ~ Choices

7). Consequences ~ THANKSGIVING

CONSEQUENCES ~ The Fallout

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The dust settles

Unmoving over mountains of hurt

And the sun did indeed rise as you knew it would

The war has ended, not with a peaceful solution, but the incessant battering has abated long enough for you to catch your breath and realize that the pain in your body has lodged itself because you allowed anger and fear to take up residence again

It edges out the love and the old feelings of anger and impatience have been creeping up on you

Yes.  Old habits are hard to break completely

There are ties that stay

Possibly a tiny string

But that energy mends quickly and suddenly there it is…the blood which gives it life is flowing freely and you wake up when the screaming you hear is coming from you

And you behaved exactly as he taught you to behave

And shame starts to shine from the depths of the bottomless hole where your soul used to be

Your son tries to console you and says, “But…that’s the person he made you.”

And I respond with, “But it’s not the person I MADE ME!”

And then Joel Osteen said, “You were listening to the wrong Father!”

And I said, “YES!”

Blessitude!

Lorrie❤

11/14/16

POSTS IN THE SERIES

(Links will become active after each writing is posted)

1). Consequences ~ The Fishing Expedition

2). Consequences ~ The Fallout

3). Consequences ~ The Bottom Line

4). Consequences ~ The Continuum of Light

5). Consequences ~ I Am Not Completely Unscathed

6). Consequences ~ Choices

7). Consequences ~ THANKSGIVING

CONSEQUENCES ~ The Fishing Expedition

This past week has been a very trying time for Americans as we all must come to terms with the results of our Presidential Election.

The energy created by this event is volatile and has far-reaching tentacles, I suspect.  People come down hard on one side or the other and the chasm that is created is “HUGE.”

The following is the first post in a small series I have written called, “Consequences.”  It chronicles my thoughts, feelings, and revelations about the events that occurred, nationally as well as personally, this past week.

I don’t profess to understand how we could become a country that is so divided, but I pray for us all to unite in the energy of love…never has it been more imperative!

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CONSEQUENCES ~ The Fishing Expedition

The line was cast

I picked it up

The intent was obvious

I kept my integrity and tried to stay in the energy of love

My face was pushed into your line of crap and I politely lifted my head and wiped with my sleeve

They talk about a straw that breaks the camel’s back – in fact I remember the game well

You reached down as low as you could go and you threw it in my face

And then a giant can of whoop ass was opened and a foul mouth to boot

Knowing you hated it I did it more and I have to say there was a moment during which I heard the voice of reason and my response was, “**** the voice of reason!”

Your only reason for calling was so full of mal intent and I base this information on the fact that you NEVER call and you didn’t call one short month ago to see if we were impacted by the hurricane

Yes, the bait was loaded

The line was cast

And lines were crossed

When you saw what you “caught” you wanted to throw it back

But I wasn’t coming off the hook that easy for it would be letting you off the hook as well

No!  In that moment I crossed the lines it felt GREAT!

Not so much now

As I realize you went low and I went right down there with you

Some habits die hard

And most times people show you who they are

And there is confirmation

Confirmation of who you are

And confirmation of who I don’t want to be

So I have to go now and work through my shame and get to a place of forgiveness…for MYSELF

As for you…I’ve already done that

And maybe it’s just best that we leave that at that and not make it possible for you to get into that kind of trouble again, because you just can’t help yourself.

Blessitude

Lorrie❤

11/13/16

POSTS IN THE SERIES

(Links will become active after each writing is posted)

1). Consequences ~ The Fishing Expedition

2). Consequences ~ The Fallout

3). Consequences ~ The Bottom Line

4). Consequences ~ The Continuum of Light

5). Consequences ~ I Am Not Completely Unscathed

6). Consequences ~ Choices

7). Consequences ~ THANKSGIVING