Haiku ~ & “Merry Christmas”

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In life and in death

You can not deny the truth

Spirit moves your Soul!

 

On this Sunday, one week before we celebrate the birthday of Christ, I am solemn…

This week I learned of a birth, and a death, in a matter of hours.  One tiny little human embarking on the most miraculous journey, and one who didn’t appear finished with his, left abruptly.

I contemplate this process and the one thing I come up with is that Spirit moves our Soul and we can be a willing participant, or we can let the struggles of life drown out what we hear.  We can let fear pervade our being and go searching for comfort in every place It can never be found, or we can move to the tune of our hearts, orchestrated by the power of the Divine!

This week before Christmas, I offer these words as a gift, a reminder…

Listen to your Soul

It will never steer you wrong

Blessed love inside

Blessitude!

Lorrie ❤

12/18\16

Dance Into Eternity

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Life.

Death.

A thin line.

I’ve walked for years,

Straddling,

One leg firmly planted on the side of life.

The other in the air,

crossing the center,

balanced like a gymnast on the beam.

Life.

Death.

One is here,

where my foot is planted firmly,

and there are times that it feels darker,

than being closed in a casket lowered,

six feet under.

My ballerina toe gets closer

and almost touches that side,

and in one moment I have a thought

that there might be some life in there,

there might just be a rainbow.

But then I lean on my left leg.

The one that is sturdy and holds me up straight.

And I remember that there is a whole lot

more life left to be lived on this side.

So I walk on the wire,

one foot in front of the other,

and I make a promise

to continue to explore this side of the line

with as much gusto as I can.

My right leg obeys,

and my soul decides to continue its work,

and my mind is free,

because I know that death is not something to fear.

When the time is right,

I will lace up both ballerina shoes

and

Dance Into Eternity!

Blessitude

Lorrie ❤

11/29/15

Sorry for the morose feeling behind this post.  I had written it a while ago and did not post it when it was raw.  But I just found out that a couple I know were found dead in their condo, a suspected murder/suicide.

I am in shock!

I saw them just a few weeks ago.  They were the kind of people you just knew were meant to be together…soul mates.  I can’t begin to guess what enticed them to cross over that line, but I suppose I am not surprised that, as they were in life, they decided to be in death…together.

I will miss them.

❤ Lorrie

Dr. Wayne W. Dyer ~ I Miss You

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One lonely tear

magnifies the hole placed in my heart

when you left

We were so close to meeting

you and I

and the energy we would have created

would have been so full of miracles

But the time has passed

and so has your soul

and I am left here to wonder

why events occurred in the time that they did

and how we could have been so close

and yet so far

And I feel a void

a darkness

for what could have been

A light

a beautiful brilliance

that worked toward such good

has dimmed to a laser beam

straight into the night sky

And I believe

there may just be

a new star in the sky up there

and when I walk

out into the darkness

I will look skyward

and know deep in my soul

that you still shine

and there’s still a twinkle in your eye

and I will make a wish

upon your star

and my wish will be held

in the loving energy

that you bestowed

upon the world

Dear man,

beautiful soul,

gentle teacher,

I miss you ❤

Blessitude

Lorrie ❤

9/4/15

I feel such a profound loss at the passing of Dr. Wayne W. Dyer.  Beautiful soul, trusted mentor, his light will always shine from above but his essence will be sorely missed in this earth plane.  I had good reason to believe that I would meet him in person in two weeks and I had daydreamed many times of how that meeting would go.  I was so very excited.

Then my sister called and I knew before she even said the words that he had passed.

The pain almost seemed too great to comprehend in that moment as I selfishly realized that my dream of meeting him would always be just that, a dream.  But then I remembered the reasons I wanted to meet him in the first place and the warmest feeling of love caressed me from beyond.  Beyond the existence that my body occupied, and into the realm where I know he will always live with me. 

I am so grateful for all you taught me, Dr. Wayne, and I will always see your smiling face and those incredibly twinkling eyes.  I will honor your memory by being the best version, the most authentic version, of me.  And I will always expect a miracle!!

My heart goes out to Dr. Wayne’s family and close friends…I can not imagine the size of the hole in their hearts ❤

Namaste…Blessitude!

Lorrie ❤

The Long Night & Haiku ~ 12/16/14

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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I stayed awake all night a few ago…No…I wasn’t reliving my teens pulling an all-nighter, partying, having fun.  I stayed awake all night, crying, and praying, and writing.

I am at a place in my life that intellectually I knew would arrive, but emotionally I never wanted to think about.

The Momma was very sick and hospitalized.  Then it seemed she lost her will to live.  It was so unlike her – she fought her whole life.  It was unbearable to me because if she could give up the fight for her life what would that mean for me?  Would it be possible that I would ever give up?

 

You look me in the eye

And you tell me you will try

But it’s all a bold faced lie

And I hang my head and cry

Because you soon will die

And I have to question why

Should I simply say goodbye?

 

I wrote the above words that night.  It was the beginning of a very personal writing that was interspersed with prayers to God and cries for help.  Not only help with the current situations I find myself in, but help with the emotional upheaval that the past three weeks resurrected in my soul’s heart.

The sun rose and suddenly there was clarity.  I understood that her failure to fight was because she was afraid.  She wanted to continue to live but she didn’t know how to do it.  And then God provided the answers which, if I had been paying attention, were right in front of my eyes the whole time.

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“For his anger lasts only a moment, but his favor lasts a lifetime; Weeping may remain for a night, but rejoicing comes in the morning.” Psalm 30:5

 

Haiku ~ 12/15/14

Oh how I rejoice

When your favor is revealed

Love for me is shown

 

Things I did not see

Standing right in front of me

Vision is restored

 

Full of Thankfulness

For blessed understanding

You show me the way

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I wish for you all to stay strong in your faith, especially during hard times.  I have found that the harder I lean into it, the faster my “vision” becomes clear…the faster my mind hears the words that are placed in my heart.  The words that are sent, the people who are put in my path, the strength that I find right when I think I have no more to give…that is what I am talking about…that is what I am so blessed and full of gratitude for…Blessitude!!!  Thank You!

❤ Lorrie

12/16/14

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Top photo courtesy of en.wikipedia.or
“The Night Sky” Mount Hood National Forest

 

 

Which Hurt is Better?

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I’m not sure I’ll post this.  I’m not sure why I am writing it.

My ex husband died today…the father of my only son.

I wondered if I should feel something more than what I do?

I suppose what I feel … is what I feel.  And I hate the word “should!”

We were so young when we married and had a baby.

We were babies ourselves…what did we know of the world?

I knew very quickly that being with him was not the life I wanted for myself or for my son.

Someone had to protect him.

I find it one of the saddest things about my life…a recurring theme.

That a child should have to be protected from the people who are supposed to protect him!

It doesn’t make sense.

I ended it quickly, but not before real pain was delivered.

To both of us.

And some people get really good at delivering pain.

And some people get really good at receiving it.

He never touched me or my heart again.

I suppose that is why I am serene.

And even though in the long run it was the best thing for him, my son never had a relationship with him.

But that hurt him.

And I wish there was some way that I could take that hurt away from him.

And I’m not sure if that hurt is better than the hurt he would have had if he had been in his life.

How do we quantify which hurt is better.

And why am I sitting here wondering which hurt would have been better???

Those are the choices I used to live with.

Funny…I didn’t recognize it then.

But I do now.

And I also know I can’t banish the dark, I can only brighten the light.

So I will make sure my baby knows that I have enough love for him to make up for any parental lack.

And I will make sure I treat my own heart with tenderness.

And I will say a silent prayer that his soul be caressed with love.

For in the end isn’t that all that any of us want?

We all want to be loved.

I find it sad the majority of us don’t recognize that we don’t love ourselves the way God intended.

The lack of love is what creates the destructive forces that allow people to be so cruel.

Well, I feel what I feel.

And apparently, I feel a lot.

More than I thought I did.

Thanks for listening. 🙂

Blessitude

Lorrie

7/15/14

 

 

 

 

Angels in the Surf

Rough Waters
Rough Waters

I drive by the beach to be consoled by mother nature

to see her beauty

and to feel her rhythm of life

I am sad to see lights litter the landscape

flashing an emergency

for a soul

who thought he could become one with the waves

the currents were strong

and they ripped him out to sea

it was swift

and it was clean

not too much to think about

from wence he came he returned

and the boats searched till darkness

 

Morning arises and he has not been found

I pray for his soul

I pray for those he left behind

I pray he understands heaven

 

In a moment – any moment

there are choices to be made

we live in a life with free will

I’m just not sure that we all understand the significance of tiny moments

seemingly innocuous decisions that can alter a life –

end a life

 

As I walk on in my journey here

I pray to be aware of all moments

to be present in my life and to notice the really important times.

 

I walked up to the beach to take photos of the rough surf that claimed this man’s life to include in this post.  I did have a little fear because his body had not yet been found.  The beach was deserted, except for a woman walking with her toddler who asked me to take their photo.

When I got home and looked at the photos, I noticed little lights in the surf in one of the pictures.  I zoomed in and there were so many.

Dancing Lights
Dancing Lights

I couldn’t imagine what they were…specks on the camera lens…?  The sun was not out so I didn’t think it was a reflection of the sun.  So I zoomed in again on what appeared to be the largest one….

An Angel

And I saw an angel!!!  I am so utterly full of joy!

I was afraid to go to the beach for fear that I might see the poor man’s body, but I went and I got to see his soul.  I believe this is a miracle.  And it once again shows me that I should not live in fear…love is where I want to come from.

Angels in the surf

come to take him home

tell him he is safe

he is loved

 

Blessitude

Lorrie

6/2/14

Ode to an Ex

Stone
Stone

My heart is broken

for it feels nothing

So many years and you were important

more that you weren’t

Years gone by with nary a thought of you

not even a glimpse into your world

a curiosity

I left when I left because I had to protect my baby

and in reality I had to protect myself too

I knew in my heart that we couldn’t exist in the same world

we weren’t alike and we were driving too fast in opposite directions

pull up the emergency brake and the car spins around

out of control

leaves rubber on the road

leaves scars on my heart

that though healed now

were very real at the time

Is the pain buried so deep that you don’t exist at all?

I’m not sure, but I think I should probably feel something

Two weeks they say

so that makes any action urgent

I evaluate whether forgiveness is necessary

and I can’t be sure if there is any pain that needs to be released

Touch my arm

with a piece of metal that was being shaved on a lathe

glowing red

never thought you would actually do it

arm burnt and blistering

curses from my mouth

No

there are scars

some are visible

others on my psyche

Jump out of a one and half story window

to get away from the beating

but it happened anyway

on the front lawn

call for help

betrayed by another

never make a man angry enough to want to hit you

There was never respect or loyalty

the lies were the only true constant

It wasn’t a surprise when I knew that I could never grow old with you

could never grow

I think I have now talked myself into feeling something

but in truth it’s not anything I want to feel

not anything that fits into my heart where I am now

So;

I offer you peace as you make your journey home

I wish for you to find the miracle inside you

I hope you are surrounded in love

I forgive you for everything we shared

for I know you did the best you could do at that time with what you had in your heart

I hope you have more now some 30 years later

And I also forgive myself because I knew better back then

but chose to ignore it

so my hands are not clean in the fabric of our life together

May peace be with you

May you pass with love

Blessitude

Lorrie

5/30/14