I Don’t Have a Place For This

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As I unpack and establish order, each item placed just so, I hold this in my soul and I realize I Don’t Have a Place For This.

It’s something I buried years ago, under the landscape of my soul, beneath the light of day and terrified night, hidden so well I could not recognize it.

And it bubbled to the surface, bobbing to and fro. I banished it to the unclaimed luggage area because it didn’t look like mine.  But it wouldn’t go away.

And then the pain of my entire life time…the SOURCE of all things dark and separated that stacked atop one another building the wall of the well of my imprisoned soul, sat there and refused to go away until I picked it up and held it in my hands.

I turned it over…and over.

It didn’t feel right but there was a memory.  Vague at first, but building to a crescendo of shattered thoughts flying around the corners of my psyche that told me, yes indeed, this does belong to me.

And now I have it.  Uncovered in its black truth and ugly being and I struggle with the reality and as I continue to unpack and place things just so, I realize I Don’t Have a Place For This.

Blessitude!

Lorrie ❤

6/19/17

It Was Noticeable

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IT WAS NOTICEABLE

The stillness was so noticeable.  There wasn’t a hint of breath, nor did a branch move.

My mind looked on in wonder as the thoughts darted in and out, moving effortlessly and raging to a screaming crescendo echoed by the piercing stream of internal sound accompanied by the one that was real.

It was noticeable.  The dichotomy of the scene before me, the one I could see with my eyes but not quite reach with my soul, and the one that has been a constant companion, stitched to my side, unable to break free and handcuffed to my spirit.

It was noticeable.  All I ever wanted was to feel the peace and tranquility, live in the place of trust and truth, and not let any other sound, real or manufactured, break the blessed reverie of the scene placed before my eyes, the scene I had seen before, the place I remembered, the place I loved, the place I felt safe, and the place I felt love.

It was noticeable.

The sound got louder.

And it was noticeable.

Blessitude!

Lorrie ❤

6/4/17

Only to Love

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As I walk so freely on my path

I know in my heart

That I am guided by love

The faith I feel as each obstacle is unveiled

Surpasses the fear of the multiple unknowns

I look inside through different eyes

And there is a kaleidoscope of colors

That grow in their hue

And depth of meaning

What once was used to hurt

Now only shows in shadows

Weeds to be plucked

Origin to be noticed

I am growing my love

From the inside out

And the light that surrounds my being

Has an essence that I felt before

And I remember

When my soul

Was tethered

Only to love

Blessitude!

Lorrie ❤

05/07/17

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God’s Perfect Grace

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God’s Perfect Grace

Some of life’s best decisions

happen in an instant

that is stretched to eternity.

That moment when time slows

and swirls around your head,

distorting all,

and yet your thinking

never had such clarity!

In real time

you don’t skip a beat,

but in this disfigured warp-time

you sense all,

see all,

know all,

that ever was,

that ever is,

or ever will be.

And your soul knows the answer,

because IT IS THE ONLY ANSWER!

And any arguments to the contrary,

just fall to the wayside,

fall out of this other worldly,

time depressed,

image warped place.

And in that instant you know,

where you want to be,

where you were meant to go,

and how you are supposed to get there.

Yes, in that moment,

that is stretched to eternity,

the truth of your soul speaks

in the language of your mind.

And your heart,

your soul,

your body,

and your purpose,

are aligned to

God’s Perfect Grace.

Blessitude!

Lorrie ❤

3/29/17

I included the photograph of a man-o-war I found on the beach which I used to create the photo above.  What strange little creatures they are!!  The colors are so beautiful…we refer to them as ‘blue poppers’ because if you inadvertently step on one it makes a popping sound.  But be aware, if you inadvertently step on one you also run the risk of being stung!  Some days these fellas are everywhere!

Sweet blessings, my friends!  I know I am not blogging as consistently as I would like, but I will be over to visit as I am able.  You are all in my thoughts and I send light and love ❤

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IS PURPOSE

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Let me move through this, oh Lord

Let me walk through the darkness

with light in my steps

knowing that truth dwells within

Let me grow through this, oh Lord

Let me know that the lesson

was worth the pain

and through the struggle

I did gain

A love that brings me closer to you,

a knowing deep inside

that the beauty that is…

inspired through my heart center

is purpose.

Blessitude!

Lorrie ❤

3/17/17

A Relapse of Lyme Disease ~ The Treatment

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THE TREATMENT

That empty space is me contemplating the treatment

HOT TOPIC!

The treatment can make the symptoms worse than the disease

Plus the idea of the treatment…

thinking about the effects of long-term

ANTIBIOTIC USE

can absolutely freak me out

If I let even one brain cell contemplate it…

SO I DON’T

I refuse to think about it

And I just wish I could forget it.

Why can I so easily forget things I want to remember

and yet

when I WANT to forget

this ONE THING…

Just one little thing…

it sits there

in the back of my mind

like a boulder

and even if ten men were to try to move it…

they couldn’t

Yeah…

It sits there…

Just like that

Blessitude

Lorrie ❤

2/19/17

Hello my friends!  I hope this beautiful Sunday finds you all living from your soul!

I am just over a month into treatment, and I won’t lie and say that it has been easy.  But I am constantly aware of how I am THINKING, and for the most part I have been in whatever moment I am in!  And in those moments things can change swiftly.

The FEAR I feel from thinking about the treatment can be overwhelming at times, but the alternative is to allow the bacteria to completely take over my body.  So I think positive thoughts, and I treat myself with love and kindness (a new paradigm I wish I knew about sooner 😉 )

I am BLESSITUDE!  I thank each and every one of you for the love and support that you so freely extend.  May you all live in a place of truth and love ❤

Lorrie

THE LINKS WILL BE ACTIVE AFTER EACH POST IS PUBLISHED.  ACTIVE LINKS WILL APPEAR IN RED.
  1. And I Thought I Was Done With That!
  2. I Already Fought This War
  3. Like a Ton of Bricks
  4. I Was Positive It Would Never Return
  5. You Can’t Control Everything
  6. Failure
  7. The List
  8. The Treatment
  9. I’m in The Happiest Place on Earth
  10. She Asked Me What It Feels Like
  11. Game On!
  12. A Pep Talk From An Angel

Relapse of Lyme Disease ~ The List

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There was a strong look of concern on his face

as I read the list I decided to write

because my brain fog doesn’t allow me

to remember everything

and when I speak

I sound like an idiot

as I grapple for words

that are buried

deep in my brain

and hardly ever

get uncovered.

Being able to speak to anyone

about anything

and to think on my feet

used to be

an

attribute.

Now

it’s just a distant

memory

but not the kind

I can’t remember ~

too bad.

Yes.

The List.

His eyebrows went up in surprise

as I read it…

I noticed.

The list…

it was long.

Hmmmm.

Blessitude

Lorrie ❤

2/12/17

One of the things that happens with this disease is that my senses are heightened, sometimes to the point of exhaustion!  Sudden noises frighten me as I literally jump from the assault.  I hear things, loud, that other people have to stop and concentrate hard to hear.

Visually, I see…EVERYTHING!! It makes driving difficult as I can be distracted by a tiny bunny hopping on the side of the highway (the same highway that has 5 lanes and if you don’t drive at least 75 mph you are in danger of being assaulted by those who want to go 95!)

Forget about smell.  This one is super annoying as I find myself saying most of the day, “Do you smell that?”  Again, other people generally don’t, or they have to work really hard to get it.  But then again, my friends probably just say, “Yes, I do,” because they know the drill.

Touch is very strange because right now I have numbness that comes and goes from my waist down.  But let one piece of hair get loose and touch my body!!  You would think an army of ants were marching head to toe.  Being that the treatment makes my hair shed more, I cut my hair off (really…off!) so that I could stop the creepy crawly sensations.  It has helped…a little. 

As far as taste goes, there is a constant taste in my mouth and it reminds me of an episode of the TV show ‘Alone.’  One person decided to boil her socks in water to clean them after wearing them for about a month.  Yeah, you get the idea.

Then there is other people’s energy.  Yes…that assaults me too. It is hard to be in large groups of people as I pick up on every thought…every emotion! 

So when my doctor raised his eyebrows…it was subtle and probably would have been unnoticed by most people…but to me he may as well have screamed, “Holy Crap!”

THE LINKS WILL BE ACTIVE AFTER EACH POST IS PUBLISHED.  ACTIVE LINKS WILL APPEAR IN RED.
  1. And I Thought I Was Done With That!
  2. I Already Fought This War
  3. Like a Ton of Bricks
  4. I Was Positive It Would Never Return
  5. You Can’t Control Everything
  6. Failure
  7. The List
  8. The Treatment
  9. I’m in The Happiest Place on Earth
  10. She Asked Me What It Feels Like
  11. Game On!
  12. A Pep Talk From An Angel