A tear from my heart Balanced so delicately Spoke truth from my soul   How hard you’ve fought to win the war To be able to just do the basic functions Had to be like pulling mud through a straw So many warning signs left ignored So many aches and pains That were easily attributed […]

Read More

What’s the Worst Thing that Can Happen?


Q.  What’s the worst thing that can happen? A.  NOTHING! NOTHING! Nothing is the worst thing that can happen… Not Doing Not Trying Not BEING! Standing in the center of nothing and being swallowed whole As the vortex chokes And I sob with the memory of all my nothings When I look back over my […]

Read More

BAM! There’s The Truth!


  There’s the truth It was sitting there the whole time I chose to ignore it I chose not to see it Not to hear it Not to feel it Not to deal with it THERE’S THE TRUTH! BAM!! Uncovered Unwrapped Standing in its nakedness  Nowhere to hide Sometimes it is hard to pull back […]

Read More

A Misguided Perception

A misguided perception that pain would protect her… that sickness made her off limits to the ones who would hurt her try to control her use her for their purposes and then leave her like a rag doll in the back of the closet alone in the dark hiding from predators It became ingrained it […]

Read More

A Relapse of Lyme Disease ~ She Asked Me What it Feels Like

Blood that hurts and a mind that floats off into 71 directions at the same time with an inability to find even the simplest of words. Watching from a distance afraid to get too close for fear of a backlash of anger self driven drug motivated dead bacteria invading every cell a mind that notices […]

Read More

A Relapse of Lyme Disease ~ I’m in the Happiest Place on Earth

I’m in the “Happiest Place on Earth” and that fake smile is painted on my face.  Yes…look at me… I am HAPPY. Nobody wants to see a scowl at Disney World. Just writing this, holding the pencil in my hand and pressing on the page causes such pain.  But I won’t stop.  I refuse to […]

Read More

A Relapse of Lyme Disease ~ The Treatment

THE TREATMENT That empty space is me contemplating the treatment HOT TOPIC! The treatment can make the symptoms worse than the disease Plus the idea of the treatment… thinking about the effects of long-term ANTIBIOTIC USE can absolutely freak me out If I let even one brain cell contemplate it… SO I DON’T I refuse […]

Read More