A Relapse of Lyme Disease ~ Game On!!!

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It is hard to manage the emotional aspects of this disease.  I suspect most diseases are that way.

It is back to basics for me.

Forget the pity party, forget the pain and get on with not fighting this disease, because I remember so clearly that the things we fight, the things we try to keep away from us, are the things that we draw to us.

So I will take medicine that kills the bacteria it can find (speaking to the smart ones that hide in a cocoon) as I work on all the other aspects of healing, not the least of which is turning around my negative, self-punishing attitude that this relapse has resurrected.

Apparently, there is more for me to learn.  So I wipe my hands, and pick up my heart, and hold the intention that I AM WELLI AM WORTHYI AM LOVE…and I say…

GAME ON!!!

Blessitude

Lorrie ❤

2/24/17

Oh, I’m in the game!  Full – on – in the game!!  I have never been more sure I CAN DO THIS!!  Oh, yeah…I CAN DO THIS!!!

Thank you my friends!  I am 100% certain that this resolve I feel is in part due to the love you have shared with me here.  I want you all to know that I am strong and I am certain that I am in full on healing mode!!!

Bless you all ❤

THE LINKS WILL BE ACTIVE AFTER EACH POST IS PUBLISHED.  ACTIVE LINKS WILL APPEAR IN RED.
  1. And I Thought I Was Done With That!
  2. I Already Fought This War
  3. Like a Ton of Bricks
  4. I Was Positive It Would Never Return
  5. You Can’t Control Everything
  6. Failure
  7. The List
  8. The Treatment
  9. I’m in The Happiest Place on Earth
  10. She Asked Me What It Feels Like
  11. Game On!
  12. A Pep Talk From An Angel

CONSEQUENCES ~ THANKSGIVING!

This is the last post in the series titled, “Consequences.”  The following list depicts the other postings with links in chronological order:

1). Consequences ~ The Fishing Expedition

2). Consequences ~ The Fallout

3). Consequences ~ The Bottom Line

4). Consequences ~ The Continuum of Light

5). Consequences ~ I Am Not Completely Unscathed

6). Consequences ~ Choices

7). Consequences ~ THANKSGIVING

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The shame and condemnation I feel is real

But at this time I NEED TO FEEL SOMETHING ELSE!

This is about healing

And there is no greater tonic

No natural herb

No laying on of hands

That can affect a greater change than

FORGIVENESS

AND

LOVE

FORGIVENESS AND LOVE

We are not perfect

And though my first reaction after the fallout

Was to act with reproach and disgust for myself

I know in my soul

That is not how to heal

We can look to the Universe

And say, “Why Me?”

(I did)

Or we can look and say,

“Thank you for this opportunity to learn…

Thank you for this reminder of WHO I AM

and therefore,

WHO I AM NOT!”

I have made decisions for a lifetime

Based on how I thought I would feel in the future

And the funny thing is

That those decisions have caused me such grief in the NOW

The truth is

That the future is not guaranteed

And I have no possible idea of how I may feel at that time

As I write this

I know that it will be posted on Thanksgiving morning

And I feel a shift in my heart for which I am so grateful

There’s no rule that says

You have to stay in a person’s life

Just because you share the same blood

I respect each individual’s right

To be who they are

Even if I can’t respect who that is

I understand life experiences and circumstances

Helped to shape that

But I don’t have to agree

With the way they conduct themselves

Or the way they treat people…myself included

I just don’t feel comfortable

Sharing space and breathing the same air

Yes, on this day I give thanks

For finally understanding

That I can’t change other people

And if being in their world is abusive to me

Then I have the choice to not put myself there.

Blessitude!

Lorrie ❤

11/24/16

HAPPY THANKSGIVING!

Thank you all, beautiful people, for the love you show.  I am inspired by each and every single one of you!  Thanks for following “Consequences” and for the wonderful support you freely extend.  May we all realize the amazing things in our lives and have Thanksgiving…and Blessitude for it all!  ❤

POSTS IN THE SERIES

(Links will become active after each writing is posted)

1). Consequences ~ The Fishing Expedition

2). Consequences ~ The Fallout

3). Consequences ~ The Bottom Line

4). Consequences ~ The Continuum of Light

5). Consequences ~ I Am Not Completely Unscathed

6). Consequences ~ Choices

7). Consequences ~ THANKSGIVING

Perfection

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“Thus we end this Course with love given and love received in truth.  You are the learner here until you realize that you are love.  You then become the teacher of what you are.  Your mind and heart join in the wholeheartedness in the embrace.  You are home, and there you will stay forever.”  ~ A Course of Love   32.2

I Am not perfect

No…No

Far from it

The life I led is full of guilt and shame

I Am not perfect

No…No

Far from it

Looking to the world to place the blame

I Am not perfect

No…No

Far from it

Hid my gifts so well I couldn’t see

I Am not perfect

No…No

Far from it

Had no idea what lived inside of me

I Am the student

Hmmm…Hmmm

I’m learning

My heart is open and I know its pain

I Am the student

Hmmm…Hmmm

I’m learning

What is lost makes room for all I gain

I Am the teacher

Ah Ha!

I said it

All I need is right in front of me

I Am the teacher

Ah Ha!

I said it

Honoring the love inside is key

I Am perfection

Yes…Yes

I own it

The things I do make sense inside each place

I Am perfection

Yes…Yes

I own it

I walk in love and always feel His grace

I Am so thankful

Oh…how

I feel it

If I ever have the urge to roam

I Am so thankful

Oh…how

I feel it

I know that I will never leave my home!

Blessitude!

Lorrie ❤

10/30/16

Blessings on this beautiful Sunday morning!  May you walk in your truth surrounded by light and love ❤

The Things I Take For Granted

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His eyes lit up like a child on Christmas morning.

Better than any wrapped present under a tree,

the rolling ocean, on a gray day,

looked thirteen shades of green

against a back drop of

deep purple clouds full of rain.

*

He was not child,

perhaps a man in middle age

and his excitement at seeing

something he had never seen in his entire life

had a child-like vulnerability

that was easy to fall into.

*

Strangers connected in nature’s beauty and wonder,

humans offering love

in a heart-shaped stone

passed on for remembrance.

*

The hard and the soft,

the remembered and the forgotten,

the future and the past,

all captured in a moment.

A Yellow Feather fell into my life!

 

I don’t think that I have ever thought about how many people in the world have never seen the ocean.  Thinking about it now I see that it may be possible that there are more people who have never seen it than people who have!  The things I take for granted!

I’ll never forget this chance meeting and the sharing of our souls in that moment.  And I will always love how the universe offers us gifts when we least expect it.

The perfectly heart-shaped stone that seemed to be surrounded in light, caught my eye as I walked on the beach that morning.  I walked past it because it didn’t measure up to the “incredible shell” status I have limited my beach finds to, as I have limited space in which to display them.

But then I heard a voice from my chest area (the place I know I should pay attention to) and it said, “But it’s a perfect HEART!”  Obediently, with full agreement, I turned and walked the three steps back to the stone, just as a wave was coming; possibly to take it back to the depths of the sea, never to be seen again.

I set the stone on the railing as I turned to wash the sand off my feet.  That is when I met the two gentlemen.  The one man couldn’t wait to tell us that this was the first time his friend had ever seen the ocean!

I was so excited to be able to share this experience with them.  I took their photos and tried to sum up the power of the sea and what it means to me.  I heard myself say, “It speaks to my soul.  And when I am here I can hear my soul speak to me, the connection is so clear.  There is healing power here…”

We turned to leave and when I was about three steps away I heard the voice of my soul say, “Wait!  You forgot your heart of stone!”

I promptly turned and grabbed it off the railing and immediately walked to the man and handed the heart to him.  There was a brief second where both our hands were connected by the heart, which directly connected our souls!  No words were spoken, but everything was said…

I thanked God for this very special meeting as tears welled up and gently slid down my face.  I AM Blessitude that my awareness is so open, and my connection to my soul continues to strengthen.

My dear friends, the gift of this moment was greater than any wrapped present under the tree!

Blessitude!

Lorrie ❤

9/18/16

(Oh…the image is mine!)

I Can’t Believe I AM Five Years Old!

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Author unknown, Art (c) LorrieBowden.com

I have heard this poem for as long as I can remember. The Momma used to recite it, whenever someone or something turned 5 years old.  She memorized the poem from a birthday card that she received when she turned 5.  When I thought about this post, of course it jumped into my head!

I can’t believe I am five years old! It seems like yesterday that I started the weekend of my spiritual growth at Edgar Cayce’s A.R.E. (Association of Research and Enlightenment.)

That weekend saw my heart open and some pretty amazing energy that I will never forget.

I was part of a group dream experience that was incredible. Nine strangers made a vow to dream for one woman who had a problem.  When the group assembled (randomly) the next day our dreams told a story in perfect order, which could only have been Divine intervention!  I still get goosebumps when I think of it!

I sat in a restaurant as the ground underneath us undulated…up…down…up…down. My first thought was we were near a military base and they must have been doing bomb exercises in the ocean.  Then I found out that it was an earthquake!!  On the east coast??

Without fear, we drove through tunnels and over bridges to our next destination (immediately after the earthquake!) Little did I know that we drove to within 8 miles of the epicenter.  But it was my 50th birthday weekend and we were going to see Mary Chapin Carpenter in concert.  There was no way I would miss that!

Every morning we went to breakfast in the hotel lobby and all the other people were talking about the aftershocks they felt during the night. I slept like a baby and didn’t feel a thing.

The concert was outdoors and while we were lining up to enter the venue, the weather did not look promising. Suddenly it turned black and the organizers quickly ushered us into a building to protect us from a nearby tornado.  The lightning storm was incredible and the whole experience was quite surreal.

Most of the people left as soon as the weather broke a little. We stayed with maybe fifty others who held out just long enough to find out that she was going to honor us with a concert after all.  It was still raining.  We didn’t care as we traipsed through mud with our lawn chairs.  We wore large garbage bags for raincoats and shared one umbrella.  We placed our chairs in the front row and sang every song with her until she had to stop due to a local curfew.

The celebratory activities were over and it was time to drive from Virginia back to New Jersey. And we were racing the clock because Hurricane Irene was barreling up the east coast.

As you can see, I will never forget my 50th birthday weekend and the spiritual opening of my soul!  There was an earthquake, thunderstorm, tornado, and Hurricane Irene (she did not cause damage to our area) all in the same week!  (I often wondered if the energy unleashed by my years of living blind had something to do with the crazy weather events…hehe.)

I witnessed great fear everywhere I went. I wrote a poem called, “The Fear of the People,” because it was palpable, you could feel it in the air.  But the most amazing thing about that whole time is that I never personally felt the fear as my own.  My vibration of love was so strong that there was absolutely no possibility that fear could invade.

And it was beautiful. And it was liberating and I felt so free.  And I knew that the weekend was marked by these awe inspiring events so that there was no possibility that I wouldn’t notice just how amazing it all was. 

I wish I could tell you that I have been able to stay in that love energy and been able to banish all fear in the years that have ensued. I can’t.  But I can tell you that when I am able to do that, I remember.  And when I remember, I am able to do that!!

Now that’s the kind of cycle I don’t mind being a part of!!

Can I just say, “I am BLESSITUDE!” I am so blessed and full of gratitude for this journey I am on, and while it may not always seem easy, it is always amazing!  Thank you my friends for your love, your respect, and for teaching me every single day.  I am so happy to share this life with you ❤ ❤ ❤

Blessitude!

Lorrie ❤

8/20/16

I created two images for this post and decided I did not have to choose which one to use…I could use them both 😉

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EVER TREAD SO LIGHTLY

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Ever tread so lightly

In the landscape of my soul

So that I may walk among flowers

And smell their thoughts

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Ever tread so lightly

That I may hear a secret

That is whispered in the wind

That the melody of my desires

Come back to me again

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Ever tread so lightly

That all is not lost

That everything plays a role

In the story that unfolds

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Ever tread so lightly

That I remember who I am

That I remember who you are

That I remember the connection

To the symphony of colors

That which created the story

In the first place

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Ever tread so lightly

Move without sound

Hear with my heart

See with my soul

And know no bounds

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As you read these words may you have a memory of the Divine Spirit that you are.  In light of the turmoil that erupts in our midst, may the light of our love and our peace radiate to the injured parts of our world, and let there be healing.

Blessitude

Lorrie ❤

7/8/16,

Who Am I?

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I have been many things,

held many jobs,

answered many questions,

and asked a million or two.

I have felt many feelings,

and tried not to feel,

made myself numb in ways I care to forget!

But through it all,

every step of the journey,

there has been a constant thread,

one discerning element that defines me…

I am an artist!

There…I said it…

and I mean it.

I am an artist!

I am a creator!!

As I contemplate the full power of this statement, I can feel a blossoming of beauty surge from the core of my being.  The years I spent wondering what I was supposed to be doing, I now realize I have been doing all along.

I have always been happiest when I am making things.  I scoffed at calling myself an artist, thinking that term was reserved for those who specialized in a medium.

I am attending a couple of glass art classes and they ask you introduce yourself in the beginning.  This introduction has been hard for me as my background has been a smorgasbord of artistic expression.

I don’t know if my reluctance to call myself an artist was a self-esteem issue or rather a lack of commitment on my part.  Possibly it was both.  Or maybe there were so many things I tried not to see, not to remember, that I lost my ability to see myself!

Either way, as I lift the veils that shroud my eyes I feel a certain power emanating, flowing, rising to the surface of my world.  I embrace it with open arms and welcome a lost lamb home.

Two very dear friends gave me the gift of their words recently.  One, an incredible artist, said, “You need to know your talent.”  And Dennis, from Merging Traffic, wrote, “Peace, graced artist/storyteller.”

And I said, “Ahhhhh!”  I took her advice and I slipped on his words like a new pair of shoes, dispelling any fear, and understanding there can be humility in the proclamation.  And I do feel “GRACED!’  And to be graced and not honor the gift would be a shame, indeed.

So many of you left me such heart warming comments on my last post where I displayed my first hand cut fused decorative glass plate.  I thank you all, for each and every comment washed over me and gave me understanding, and confidence to be able to say,

I am an Artist

I am a Creator

I am BLESSITUDE!

Lorrie ❤

2/10/16