A Relapse of Lyme Disease ~ I Was Positive It Would Never Return

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Surely, I must be wrong because

I BEAT IT!

I BEAT IT!

I KNOW I DID!!

It was gone.

I was healed.

I felt great…

Until I didn’t.

Sure…

It was a tough year.

Many things happened that broke my heart.

But I got through them!

I survived.

I am so much better equipped to deal with

the curve balls that life throws at me.

I never considered it would return.

In fact,

I WAS POSITIVE IT WOULD NEVER RETURN!

It’s hard to believe that I was wrong.

Blessitude

Lorrie ❤

2/8/17

I have accepted what is, but I still feel a little incredulity that it is so.  I know that the things we fight only get magnified in energy, so I try my hardest each day to live in the energy of full acceptance.

It hurts… a lot!  And today it feels like I have the flu, so that is a good sign.  It means that the meds are killing the bacteria and the die off is taxing my system.  A key component to healing is to take positive steps to detox on a daily basis.  Come to think of it that’s not a bad idea even if we aren’t sick!

Blessitude, my friends ❤

THE LINKS WILL BE ACTIVE AFTER EACH POST IS PUBLISHED.  ACTIVE LINKS WILL APPEAR IN RED.
  1. And I Thought I Was Done With That!
  2. I Already Fought This War
  3. Like a Ton of Bricks
  4. I Was Positive It Would Never Return
  5. You Can’t Control Everything
  6. Failure
  7. The List
  8. The Treatment
  9. I’m in The Happiest Place on Earth
  10. She Asked Me What It Feels Like
  11. Game On!
  12. A Pep Talk From An Angel

A Relapse of Lyme Disease ~ And I Thought I was Done With That!

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My heart just couldn’t go there

My mind dared to travel down the road

Short distances…before it turned back

Because it too

Could not stand to face the scenery

Just beyond awareness

After all,

I already traveled down that road

I already met with

all the possible experiences on that route

I met them…

I lived them…

I lived THROUGH them…

AND I THOUGHT I WAS DONE WITH THAT!

I thought I learned

All I needed to learn

And I thought I felt

All I needed to feel

But I guess I was wrong.

Again.

Blessitude

Lorrie ❤

1/30/17

Hi friends.  I’ve been a bit absent as I have had a few things to deal with, the least of which is the return of serious symptoms of Lyme Disease.

This post is part of a series of writings that flowed from this experience.  The links below are listed in order and will be active just after each post is published.  Thanks for taking the ride 🙂  Lorrie

  1. And I Thought I Was Done With That!
  2. I Already Fought This War
  3. Like a Ton of Bricks
  4. I Was Positive It Would Never Return
  5. You Can’t Control Everything
  6. Failure
  7. The List
  8. The Treatment
  9. I’m in The Happiest Place on Earth
  10. She Asked Me What It Feels Like
  11. Game On!
  12. A Pep Talk From An Angel

LONELY CHAIRS

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LONELY CHAIRS

backdrop of summer

days gone by

the lonely heart grieves

days gone by

a man in a tie

we point and laugh

I gasp in disbelief

swim to the last barrel

a member of the club

fear the size of the surf

7th avenue

it WAS heaven

a slice of my life

times that were free

talked about everything

that ever meant anything

dry my eyes

the pain taken away

never looked back

saw you swimming

in a hurricane

destructive storm

tore the landscape of our past

destructive life

ripped the heart out of your chest

never been more sorry

than the pain I felt from you…

I did not know

too much to

bare your soul

drowning in the loss

swimming out to sea

wishing the current

would just take you

away

my heart

and soul

have never left you

endless hours crying

and wishing I could hold you

My Dear friend

 

Oh, how we could sit for hours, baking in the sun. Talking never got old.

Do you know that you were my best friend?

You helped me through such a dark time in my life. It was like you knew that if you didn’t make me talk, every single day, that I just might have left…gone on to different pastures.

And I don’t even know if I ever thanked you.

And then there was a time when I could have done the same for you…and I didn’t.

I have forgiven myself for a lot of things, but no…not that one.

And it seems to just say I’m sorry to you wouldn’t be enough.

But I am.

 

Our chairs are now empty, as are parts of our hearts.

But know that in the landscape of my life you have always been right up there at the top!

The one with no secrets…

The one with so many answers…

The one who tried to talk sense into me…

But I never listened!

I wonder now if you caught on and started to tell me what you thought I SHOULDN’T do…?

Yeah.

I have always loved you.

And I have always known that you love me.

I miss you ❤

Blessitude!

Lorrie ❤

8/5/16

 

DRAGLIONI

“DRAGLIONI”

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There he is…DRAGLIONI!  He is a 23″ long x 8″ wide x 2″ deep, decorative fused glass plate.  Draglioni was a labor of love, and in the end he represents so much about my life at this stage.

He started with an idea…a plan…a drawing.

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Then an array of beautiful colored “Bullseye” glass was purchased (this time with the knowledge that “stryker” glass changes colors 😉 )

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Next came the cutting…and cutting…and fitting…and grinding!

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Once all the pieces were made to fit the next step was a fuse firing in the kiln.  The fuse firing does exactly what it sounds like…it fuses all of the different pieces of glass into one.

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And then the piece is put on a mold and fired again…a “slump” fire.  It is so cool that the “flat” piece “falls” into the mold…and doesn’t change the design!

Next, for kicks you enter it into a “Glass as Art Competition,” not because you think he will win, but rather because Draglioni took about 60 hours to complete and he was made with love…so you enter him in the competition so people can see him, and feel his love!

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And to your absolute surprise and delight, Draglioni wins 3rd place in his category! 

It was so nice to hear his name called at the artist’s reception.  But the best part of Draglioni was CREATING HIM!  Oh, and the bag of goodies for winning was nice too 🙂

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I waited a long time to post about DRAGLIONI.  I thought that this was the start of something really special…a beautiful art form that I loved and the ability to create with a very dear friend.

But this is LIFE…and sometimes life has a mind of its own.  The ten year friendship came to an abrupt halt with no signs of being able to be repaired.  Along with the friendship, my ability to create in her studio has also ceased. 

It has been a time of great mourning.  All I can do is rejoice for the time we had together and be thankful for the experiences that were wonderful.  I don’t profess to understand WHY things happen, but I know they happen for a reason.

While I don’t know if I will ever work with glass in the distant future, I know it is not a part of my life now.  I am BLESSITUDE…”so blessed and full of gratitude” for this part of my life.  And DRAGLIONI will ALWAYS have a place in my heart…as will my friend.
Thank you so much my friends for being such a wonderful source of love and support.  Your words and thoughts mean more than you will know.

Wish you all a beautiful Sunday filled with love! ❤

Blessitude

Lorrie ❤

6/26/16

 

THE WHOLE OF HUMANITY

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THE WHOLE OF HUMANITY

 

There is a sadness in the air.  Even the birds can sense that humanity is hurting, suffering.

 

I look and I see mourning, and if not mourning I see fear disguised as anger and prejudice.

 

The coming together eases it a bit, but I wish in time the souls who are here at any given moment could look in another’s being and recognize we are not very different at all…

 

We all have a place and a right to live our lives while traveling here together.

 

The ride would be so much nicer if we were surrounded by love and respect.

 

Stand and offer your hand to your fellow being.  Recognize that they have pain and struggle and they are just trying to get by.

 

Recognize that “your way” is right for you, just as “their way” is right for them.  Neither right…neither wrong…just different.

 

If we could honor that the differences we see make up a WHOLE…they fill the missing pieces, and one is not better without the other…rather we are strengthened when we allow and join…

 

Then we create THE WHOLE OF HUMANITY, rather than the HOLE IN HUMANITY!

Peace.

Blessitude

Lorrie ❤

6/19/16 

Be Not the Darkness

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Lonely Souls

I sit not in judgment

of the wounded heart that bled its pain

in the destruction of others

for many times

this is how humans behave

*

But there is another way

a way that serves humanity

in the light of which we were created

in the light of all true meaning

and that light is

LOVE ❤

*

Nothing is gained

when we retaliate

with our own pain and destruction

delivered by fear that we too,

are capable of such atrocities

All that is gained

is more of the same energy

and it proves that we are indeed capable

*

But we are capable of many things

and I beg you to replace your fear

before it is too late!

*

Be Not the Darkness

of the Wounded Soul

rather

Rise up to the

Brilliant Light that

Created Us All

The Brilliant Light

that Shines a Path

Rise Up

to

LOVE!

Blessitude

Lorrie ❤

11/15/15

I feel such sadness in my soul in light of the recent terror attacks in Paris.  It doesn’t make sense to me that people think these kinds of acts are holy.  But I will try not to judge their pain and add more negativity to the world.

Instead, I will think more clearly the next time I have a perceived hurt by someone.  I will try to work it out WITH them, and if that is not possible, then I will just send them love.  Nothing is gained when we add negativity…EVERYTHING IS GAINED WHEN WE ADD LOVE!  ❤

A Bag of Bones

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Her pain is so raw as she tries to hold on to the life she controlled with such precision.

For what is left when there is nothing left that she feels can be manipulated?

She lashes out and makes rude comments.

She tries to push me away as she wishes to show me the pain that is coursing through her veins.

She finds the one thing she controls, the one thing left in her existence that is under her rule, and she goes to town.

She is so proud.

Her plans are working just as she perceived them to and nobody has anything to do with it.

Ha Ha!  I’ll show them, she thinks in the mind that feels so all alone.

One by one they drop…

The pain is assuaged each time the number is read.

And she feels a brief moment of success, something she hasn’t felt for a long time.

One by one becomes a loss of about three pounds per week, and she smiles.

She feels so good about herself it is hard to take it away from her!

She brings it up willingly at every visit…because she is so proud.

And I am brought back to a time when I was proud.

When a glance in the mirror didn’t show the reflection of what I felt.

When my life was so out of my control that I, too, controlled the one thing that was left, and it scares me!

She won’t listen to reason.

I ask her, “What number do you have in mind?  What number will make you happy?”

With zero hesitation she blurts, “107!”

So my mind does the mental math and I think by Christmas she will be a bag of bones…

Blessitude!

Lorrie ❤

11/13/15

photo credit:  https://howtobeadad.com