Under a twinkling Christmas tree she lay in sweet slumber as the day slowly floated into the night.
It was happening again, and the pain was as real as the first time, perhaps more so. It was red hot and psychedelic as it traveled through every nerve ending in her body.
The tears streamed down her cheeks, and she wailed as she choked back sobs.
She picked up the pay phone and to her surprise her sister was hanging on the other end.
“What’s wrong? Why are you so sad?”
“She’s dying again! She’s dying again and I don’t think I can go through it all over again.”
The air was cold and it was dark and damp. Life was seen in black and white with minor shades of gray at the horizon.
Her heart felt like it was in the Jolly Green Giant’s hand, though he was not so jolly as he squeezed it tightly and morphed into The Grinch who would steal another Christmas.
A man walked out of the mist and stood before her. She thought he was waiting for the phone, but on second look she realized it was her dad.
He wasn’t real, for how could he be? He passed away July 8, 2017 at 12:34pm. Besides, he wasn’t solid. As the wind blew his essence undulated – and she could see through him.
He didn’t say anything. He just stood there and watched her cry. She was not afraid.
She told her sister that Daddy was standing in front of her.
Her sister said, “Awww, he is there to comfort you. He is telling you that Mommy is okay.”
“She’s NOT okay! She is dying again – but not before she completely withers away right before my eyes for the second time! My heart…I CAN’T!”
“Go hug Daddy. Give him a hug and he will comfort you.”
“But he’s not solid – I don’t think I will feel him. I think my arms will just go through the thin air.”
“Just try it,” she said.
I stepped down off the platform and he raised his arms. I was skeptical, but the pain was incapacitating and if ever I needed a hug it was in that moment.
I reached out. He was smaller than he used to be so I had to bend down too. The scene which had been in black and white and shades of gray suddenly turned to blinking rainbow colors.
And in the next moment I felt his arms go around me and he pulled me to his chest and he was SOLID! HE WAS REAL! HE FELT HUMAN!!
I could smell him. He held me tight and he told me that everything was going to be okay – and he never said a word…
Suddenly I saw the Christmas lights blinking through eyes that were blurred with tears. I wiped my face which was completely wet and I tried to understand what had just happened. My logical mind told me that I had fallen asleep on the couch and it was all a dream.
But I knew better than that. It may have started as a dream, but it shifted into an altered state where I was very aware that I was sleeping on the couch and the Christmas tree lights were blinking in the background.
I could feel the pain every bit as fresh as it had been two years prior. And my tears were not just tears in my dream, they trickled down my cheeks and neck, as the top of my shirt was stained with the sadness.
I sat up and internally I heard myself question, “Wow, was that really you, Dad?”
And I heard him say, “Yes, Lorie Ellen, it was me.”
He never spelled my name correctly!
This really happened Friday night.
My Mom’s Angelversary is coming up next Saturday. I’ve experienced so much healing in the two years since her passing, but this “dream” brought it all back with such force. It is unfortunate, but Mommy came in for a hard landing.
I have had very lucid dreams where loved ones who’ve passed have come to visit. But I have never felt physically touched by one before! I will never forget this – NOT EVER!
My Dad and I had a difficult relationship while we shared our time here on earth. Forgiveness did not come easy for me, I had to work very hard for it. This dream, or whatever I might call it, was so full of perfect love I believe quite possibly that he, too, forgives me! I am Blessitude!
Have any of you ever experienced anything like this?
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