This Pain

 

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“You are and will always be much more than your pain.”

~ Dennis Ference

A dear friend (Dennis Ference…click here to see the poem he wrote for me) said this to me and I knew immediately that I would need to think about theses words.

For I have lived many…

        many years

feeling this pain

knowing this pain

remembering this pain

        even during the times that I thought

                I had forgotten this pain

 

If something has been true for a lifetime…

        does that mean that it is truth?

Have I defined myself by my pain?

Does my pain somehow make me special?

 

Or does my pain reflect the child who wished upon a star

Who begged the animals who were her only friends

Who acted out wishing someone would notice

Someone would swoop in and save her

Save the others

But no one did

No…

No one saved her

 

In fact there were those who could sense the despair

        And they took advantage

        And they betrayed her

        And they hurt her

and caused more pain

NO.

I see the pain I have worn like a comfy old coat.

It is nice and worn in…

        a trusted friend

Something I can count on…

Something I expect…

Something that feels…

   Safe

How strange.

NO.

Yes, Dennis, you are correct…

I am more than my pain

And I don’t need to hide behind it any longer

I shed the cloak…

     Release the harness…

          Drop the worn pieces in a bucket.

YES.

And I choose love.

The love that exists in the realm of the divine…

The love that exists in my soul.

     Thank you dear Dennis…

          I am more than my pain

               And I am so blessed and full of gratitude…

                    Blessitude!

Lorrie ❤

2/27/15

 

Morning in the Canyon

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Morning’s first light

so crisp…so cool

rays like fingers

reach over the mountain

cottontails scamper

the only movement observed

except for what moves in your heart

Quiet stillness

Yes…this is what I was craving

though I had no idea

Put me in a place

that makes me shut down the noise

makes me turn inward

no distractions

forced solitude

Thank you for this beauty

for this respite

the landscape of my soul is quiet

and responsible

I look inside

and I notice places I haven’t seen in a long time

Like going home after an extended trip

This moment of stillness

evaporates the incessant meaningless sounds

and restores my balance

restores my connection

restores my faith and hope

…dreams!

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Blessitude

Lorrie ❤

2/22/15

Cavern of Yesterday

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When the light fades

and the day falls into the cavern of yesterday

may your dreams be refueled

as the night stars take the sky

and lighten the way for dreamers to see

what was written in the days of creation

*

May you follow the lead of your heart

that plays beautiful music on the harp of time

etched from a fine staccato

with a flowing melody of faith and hope

*

Reach for those stars

the same ones that come out to view every night

against the backdrop of an azure sky

endless, timeless

etched in the memory of love

*

Yes, as the day falls into night

and your eyes are filled with dreamy wonder

may you always believe

and achieve

your hearts wildest desire.

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Blessitude

Lorrie ❤

2/15/15

Reverie

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In that space

all by yourself

I try to reach your hand

Left alone to ponder life

Locked away

Isolation

In a small room

With a small doorway

You cry

And your tears hit the ground

One by one

They splash into the pond

Created by the depths of your despair

I call out your name

And try to break the reverie

Of your mind playing tricks

Telling you secrets you thought were yours

But in fact they belonged to someone else

I tell you

You are not alone

I jump

And I shake

I create a nuisance

In my attempt to get you to see me

To recognize me

To pay attention to the words

That I string together

That I paint on a canvas

That I lay down on a page

A page that is white and crisp

Clean

Ready to accept the truth

You are not alone

You were never alone

Not one single moment of your life…

Of any life

Remember

Remember the feeling of love

Of connectedness

Of protection

Of life

Reach for my hand

I will take you

I’ve been here before

And I know the way

I won’t leave you alone

We shall walk through the small door

Out of the small room

Hand in hand

And the journey we take

Will be guided by love

The most awe-inspiring love

The kind of love

That will take you

Home

Blessitude

Lorrie ❤

2/11/15

Written 10/17/14

The photograph was taken in the Lobby of the Ritz Carlton, Marana Az.  I don’t know the artist to give credit…it was 3D…made out of silk fabric…almost quilt-like….Absolutely Stunning!!