Stuck in my own mind
Everything came to a halt
And then love entered!
Nothing happens until something moves. ~ Albert Einstein
I have been involved in a struggle for the last two months. I felt like things were happening “to” me and I have been paralyzed, unable to make a decision as to how I will handle this situation.
I have not experienced this many times in life. I usually have strong opinions and a douse of intuition, the perfect recipe to make a decision and stick with it.
I have analyzed EVERYTHING from all directions. I have said, “what if” and “I don’t know” more times than I can count (or care to remember.)
I would make a decision and then something inside would rumble, like aftershocks from an earthquake, and it didn’t feel right! So I would not follow through and work hard to come up with a new solution.
I’ve been so confused…I didn’t know if my reticence was based in fear, or if my intuition was speaking so loud that it would be impossible for me to ignore it.
And I judged myself for being wishy washy….ewwww!
Dangerously close to a decision that could not be changed, I put the brakes on one more time yesterday. I breathed a sigh of relief and I felt so much lighter.
And then love entered. I felt the embrace of Angels and I knew that the chaos I felt inside was my beautiful self trying to stand up and be heard! She was trying to prevent the old “self-abusive me” from making a decision that would ultimately hurt me in real and lasting ways.
Now I don’t know if that part of me will ever truly be gone, but I believe that the loving, kind, compassionate part of me is gaining the upper hand, for I would not have heard her in the past. The struggle I have felt internally over the past two months has been so uncomfortable and it is not something that I wish to repeat…EVER!
So I pray to keep LOVE as the focal point, and I pray that I will know the difference between LOVE and FEAR if ever I feel this again.
And I pray that the new solution to my problem will be THE CORRECT ONE!
I think the most important thing is to TRUST this new me because I know it is powered by Divine Love!!
photo credit: my girlfriend M