Stuck in my own mind

Everything came to a halt

And then love entered!

Nothing happens until something moves. ~ Albert Einstein

I have been involved in a struggle for the last two months.  I felt like things were happening “to” me and I have been paralyzed, unable to make a decision as to how I will handle this situation.

I have not experienced this many times in life.  I usually have strong opinions and a douse of intuition, the perfect recipe to make a decision and stick with it.

I have analyzed EVERYTHING from all directions.  I have said, “what if” and “I don’t know” more times than I can count (or care to remember.)

I would make a decision and then something inside would rumble, like aftershocks from an earthquake, and it didn’t feel right!  So I would not follow through and work hard to come up with a new solution.

I’ve been so confused…I didn’t know if my reticence was based in fear, or if my intuition was speaking so loud that it would be impossible for me to ignore it.

And I judged myself for being wishy washy….ewwww!

Dangerously close to a decision that could not be changed, I put the brakes on one more time yesterday.  I breathed a sigh of relief and I felt so much lighter.

And then love entered.  I felt the embrace of Angels and I knew that the chaos I felt inside was my beautiful self trying to stand up and be heard!  She was trying to prevent the old “self-abusive me” from making a decision that would ultimately hurt me in real and lasting ways.

Now I don’t know if that part of me will ever truly be gone, but I believe that the loving, kind, compassionate part of me is gaining the upper hand, for I would not have heard her in the past.  The struggle I have felt internally over the past two months has been so uncomfortable and it is not something that I wish to repeat…EVER!

So I pray to keep LOVE as the focal point, and I pray that I will know the difference between LOVE and FEAR if ever I feel this again. 

And I pray that the new solution to my problem will be THE CORRECT ONE!

I think the most important thing is to TRUST this new me because I know it is powered by Divine Love!!


Lorrie <3


photo credit:  my girlfriend M


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62 thoughts on “AND THEN LOVE ENTERED! Haiku ~ 1/6/16

  1. Lorrie dear one …you are so truly beautiful . And for sharing your heart where love abides , well , I just want to hug you for you bless the divine with your compassion . Your writing of this struggle is very inspiring to me in a very personal way …I am humbled to call you friend …hugs and always love , megxxx

    1. Ok…now the tears are flowing over here!!! I had a poem that I was going to post…but I post what is in my heart, dear Meg. And today, while I can’t say what the future will bring, I am thriving in the energy of love…and you always make that stronger!! <3 <3 Blessings my friend!

  2. The quality of resonance and harmony within works for me as an important clue to the “rightness” of a decision. Peace, Lorrie.

    1. Oh, Brad! I would not wish this kind of struggle on anyone!! I think maybe the key is to get real quiet and to discern where the “voices” are coming from. Because deep down, WE KNOW…WE REALLY KNOW!!! Where there is love there can not be fear! Much love to you in this new year…I pray for you to err on the side of love is there is a need for err!! <3 <3

  3. I know that kind of struggle. Had one myself 6 years ago. Then illness made the decision very clear for me. I didn’t listen to my intuition, only my fear and guilt. The price was too high to ever repeat. I wish you love and peace in your heart.

    1. Oh, Marlene!! Thank you, dear friend!! Something tells me your path with your intuition is clear! I wish you love and peace in your heart as well! It is funny how we can know the steps it takes to stay true to ourselves and to feel good…and yet it takes some practice to make it automatic I suppose. Much love <3

      1. And there you have it in a nutshell. We often know and don’t do for fear of hurting someone else. Then finally realizing that not taking the necessary action hurts all just as much. When we are true to ourselves, everyone benefits, though it may not be visible at first glance. Giant hugs.

        1. How intuitive of you to know that some of my struggle involved other’s feelings!! Yes, we must be true to ourselves and if we can manage to do that then everything else falls into place…you are so correct!!! Much love <3

  4. “I don’t know if that part of me will ever truly be gone.” – Wonderfully perceptive and accepting dear Lorrie, and there is this erroneous idea, that often is floated, to the effect that we can shed part of our characters as if shedding an outer skin. For what it is worth, I believe this to be faulty thinking, and that what actually happens is that we come to see those ‘parts’ simply as conditioned reflexes of the mind – habituations that have outgrown their usefulness or prior purpose, however misguided that may have been. They never were ‘part of me’, and only fragments of an experience witnessed in awareness and then wrongly identified with as ‘mine’. You are free of it Lorrie; you always were, but now you can see that is so, letting it come and go with no resistance. How stunningly wonderful! H <3

    P.S. Fabulous capture by M. – she even caught the UFO's! 😉

    1. Ah! Hariod! Dear, dear, Hariod! I almost feel like clicking my heels three times!! Yes…I agree with you and I thank you for putting the words into the airwaves…it feels like time to celebrate 😉 They did, indeed, serve a purpose and to the best of my ability to assess it, I am letting a lot of that “go” with no resistance. I am so grateful for all that is in my life, even the truly uncomfortable times that reveal so much! Many blessings my friend! ♡

  5. Lorrie, I thought this was so inspiring. I can really relate to your words about indecision and trying to follow your inspiration. I loved the take away message from this. ON another note, I have frequently thought about a comment you wrote to me- about things being effortless. That word has had such an impact on me. Thank you for that gift!

    1. Hi Kim 🙂 I’m so happy that you found a gift in a comment…in a word! It makes my heart feel good to know that we are connected. Best wishes to you that you always know the difference betWeen love and fear!! ♡

        1. Wow! I’m so happy! I think I will adopt it also, Kim. My life has been anything but effortless of late. But I am out of that energy at present. Now to figure out how to STAY out of it!! 😉

  6. I can say it no better than Hariod already has with her wise council Lorrie.. TRUSTing in oneself and our intuitive gut, often becomes a dual as we wrestle a tug of war within ourselves as our inner demons surface to sabotage us.. The sheer fact you felt such relief, shows you that you made the right choice..
    Many thanks for being so courageous in sharing your insights within such a personal internal battle..
    I hope as you now settle within your decision, you will exude yet more peace and contentment.. ..
    Love and Blessings.. and sending my thoughts of strength your way xxx Love Sue <3

    1. Yes, Sue!! You are so correct…I feel as though a very heavy wet blanket that was suffocating me has been lifted and my inner climate has changed back to one I am very comfortable in 🙂 I was just speaking with a friend and as life would have it, I reiterated about 3 conversations I had today that were somewhat turbulent on the other person’s side. She noted it and I had to laugh because I hadn’t really thought of it that way…and I told her that they didn’t affect me negatively. So, after.months of torment I finally feel peace…even in the middle of someone else’s turbulence 🙂 Ahhhhhhhh…yes…it feels good!! Thank you so much dear Sue. I wish this kind of peace for you ♡♡

  7. The confusion can be debilitating at times can’t it!? I had a friend once describe it as grappling with a tar baby. Better to just lay still…! Ha! I hate that feeling though, of being trapped between choices that both seem difficult and perilous. It is one thing to say just choose love, and another to realize that in the moment when this choice is most necessary, it is not readily available. For myself it only emerges as the obvious choice once the difficulty is allowed to settle– like a glass of water and sand that was stirred up. Then it becomes something else altogether, something clear. But it sounds as though you had a breakthrough moment, a parting of the clouds, and I am very happy for that! Peace is perhaps our most valuable resource, which is sometimes hard to realize until we must face a minute or two without it…


    1. Yes, Michael. I love the glass of water with sand analogy. The turbulence inside me felt like I was being sandblasted…it was painful. And yes, intellectually I knew that love was the answer, but I couldn’t override…or make my way through the storm. It then became a matter of “judgment” as I condemned myself for knowing better now, but not being able to put it into practice. I included the quote by Einstein because when I read it, it was profound to me. I had been standing in the middle of the vacumn…letting all those things happen around me…and “I” hadn’t moved at all!! Deep down I knew the “correct” decisions all along. So I took a step…and then another. I could feel my power….my love …return as the sand in the glass settled to the bottom and the water became crystal clear!!!
      I am grateful for every step, and I have softened the self-judgment. I know that my journey is significantly brighter because your spirit is in it!! Thank you dear soul, for all that you are ♡♡

    1. Yes, Tiny!!! That is key, isn’t it? I somehow don’t think it is a coincidence that I have been seriously “attempting” to meditate consistently. Thank you, friend! ♡

  8. Sounds like a really painful process, Lorrie. I’m so glad you are through it and on the other side. Love and Trust feel so good, don’t they? Always the goal, but so hard to get to in the midst of confusion, self judgement and hard decisions. I like the sand in the glass image too. So hard to see through all that sand until it settles a bit. I like it better when I don’t stir it up so hard, but it seems sometimes I just can’t stop! haha. Glad yours settled, and you are resting in Love and Trust again.
    Blessings, Love and Light

    1. Oh, Mary, thank you! I sometimes wonder how we can keep ourselves involved in something so painful, when the answer seems to be so simple…and here I can add one of my favorite saying, “It’s simple, but it’s not always easy!” When I think in linear time, I wonder why it has taken me so long to learn these lessons…and then I wonder why I have to learn them more than once!!! But then…I sit back and sigh and I say, “it’s all good!” This energy feels way better than what I was doing to myself before! Thanks so much for your beautiful support! <3

  9. I pray the new solution will be correct, too. I believe it will be since it felt loving. It will certainly teach you what you need to learn next. I feel so happy for your growing awareness. Best good wishes to you, dear, Lorrie. <3

    1. Thank you beautiful soul! I am at ease in this moment. A recovering self-control addict, I think I was trying to force resolution to my problem. I am in limbo as to actually resolving my issue, but I am in a beautiful place of peace…and letting go is a wonderful thing. Thanks, JoAnna…I so appreciate your loving kindness <3

  10. I’m not sure how we lost contact Lorrie but I have had Computer problems and lost all my links a few times, anyway it is good to find you again.

    It is True Lorrie that only God’s Love lasts as you shared because it comes Divinely through the empowering of The Holy Spirit, worldly fleshy love doesn’t last, this is why God asks us to be perfected in His Love.

    I hope you don’t mind my sharing some of the Scriptures that confirm this Lorrie, I know you have respect for God’s Truth and it is in reading His words to us that our Faith grows……

    Romans 10:17 So then Faith cometh by hearing and hearing by the Word of God.


    Matthew 5:48 Be ye therefore perfect, even as your Father which is in Heaven is perfect.

    Hebrews 6:1 Therefore leaving the principles of the doctrine of Christ, let us go on unto perfection; not laying again the foundation of repentance from dead works, and of faith toward God,

    2 Corinthians 7: 1 Having therefore these promises, dearly beloved, let us cleanse ourselves from all filthiness of the flesh and spirit, perfecting Holiness in the fear of God.

    2 Timothy 3:16-17 All scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness: That the man of God may be perfect, thoroughly furnished unto all good works.

    2 Timothy 2:19-21 Nevertheless the foundation of God standeth sure, having this seal, The Lord knoweth them that are His. And, let every one that nameth the Name of Christ depart from iniquity. But in a great house there are not only vessels of gold and of silver, but also of wood and of earth; and some to honour, and some to dishonour. If a man therefore purge himself from these, he shall be a vessel unto honour, sanctified, and meet for the Master’s use, and prepared unto every good work.

    2 Corinthians 13:11 Finally, brethren, farewell. Be perfect, be of good comfort, be of one mind, live in Peace; and the God of Love and Peace shall be with you.

    1John 4:17-19 Herein is our Love made perfect, that we may have boldness in the day of judgment: because as He is, so are we in this world. There is no fear in Love; but perfect Love casteth out fear: because fear hath torment. He that feareth is not made perfect in Love. We Love Him, because He first Loved us.

    “Christ”ian Love from both of us – Anne.

    1. Hi Anne…I’m not sure either, but I rest in the knowledge that we have re-connected exactly when we were supposed to!! I thank you for your adding here and I send you lots of love and blessings!! <3

  11. Oh, Lorrie, I so can relate to what you’ve been going through. Fear and uncertainty, worry and pain. Release to a higher power and trusting in Him is such a gift. I’m so happy for you. Blessings always, Kim

    1. Thank you, Kim!! I am so grateful. I am still working on issues but to have faith and release the fear has been so liberating! Hope all is super in your world! ♡

      1. It seems like we all have a little ‘something’ in our lives, don’t we? Trials and struggles make us stronger and in the end the answer(s) are clear. “Purpose.” You will get there. Blessings, Dear Lorrie.

        1. I couldn’t agree more, Kim! Yes…I know so many people are struggling in life. It is all a journey that we walk…and what matters most, I think, is how we walk through it. The learning and understanding can be painful at times but in the end, it is all worth it!! Blessings to you as well, my friend!! 🙂

    1. Yes, Kirt 🙂 🙂 Me too!! Hope all is super in your part of the world! I will be traveling out west soon…can’t wait to take lots of photos and feel the serenity of canyons!!!

  12. The more the new you arises, the more death you bring to the old you. Consider her completely dead without resurrection (the old you). There’s no place for her anymore. I really enjoyed reading this. Blessings to you! 😊

    1. Thank you, Erica! It can sure get confusing when they are both talking 😉 Yes…I agree with you…once we remember the loving kind part of ourselves it becomes so much easier to slowly let the other one go! Many blessings to you 🙂 ♡

  13. Dear Lorrie, I am not too sure how I missed this gem, but it is indeed sparkling. There is so much we can better when we can get unstuck from our minds; compassion and loving kindness and love definitely jump to mind. Mind you, Lorrie Bowden comes to mind when I think of those things too. Double whammy! Love, Harlon

    1. Ah…Harlon! Your words are like candy to my soul ..thank you dear friend! I was hit hard and fast by the flu and have barely made it out the other side. What a beautiful message to come back to!!! Hope all is super with you ♡♡

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