The Long Night & Haiku ~ 12/16/14

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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I stayed awake all night a few ago…No…I wasn’t reliving my teens pulling an all-nighter, partying, having fun.  I stayed awake all night, crying, and praying, and writing.

I am at a place in my life that intellectually I knew would arrive, but emotionally I never wanted to think about.

The Momma was very sick and hospitalized.  Then it seemed she lost her will to live.  It was so unlike her – she fought her whole life.  It was unbearable to me because if she could give up the fight for her life what would that mean for me?  Would it be possible that I would ever give up?

 

You look me in the eye

And you tell me you will try

But it’s all a bold faced lie

And I hang my head and cry

Because you soon will die

And I have to question why

Should I simply say goodbye?

 

I wrote the above words that night.  It was the beginning of a very personal writing that was interspersed with prayers to God and cries for help.  Not only help with the current situations I find myself in, but help with the emotional upheaval that the past three weeks resurrected in my soul’s heart.

The sun rose and suddenly there was clarity.  I understood that her failure to fight was because she was afraid.  She wanted to continue to live but she didn’t know how to do it.  And then God provided the answers which, if I had been paying attention, were right in front of my eyes the whole time.

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“For his anger lasts only a moment, but his favor lasts a lifetime; Weeping may remain for a night, but rejoicing comes in the morning.” Psalm 30:5

 

Haiku ~ 12/15/14

Oh how I rejoice

When your favor is revealed

Love for me is shown

 

Things I did not see

Standing right in front of me

Vision is restored

 

Full of Thankfulness

For blessed understanding

You show me the way

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I wish for you all to stay strong in your faith, especially during hard times.  I have found that the harder I lean into it, the faster my “vision” becomes clear…the faster my mind hears the words that are placed in my heart.  The words that are sent, the people who are put in my path, the strength that I find right when I think I have no more to give…that is what I am talking about…that is what I am so blessed and full of gratitude for…Blessitude!!!  Thank You!

<3 Lorrie

12/16/14

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Top photo courtesy of en.wikipedia.or
“The Night Sky” Mount Hood National Forest

 

 

Haiku ~ 12/7/14

 

 

 

 

 

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Lean into your Faith

Trying times test your resolve

Stand strong in belief

And he said to them, “Why are you troubled?  And why do doubts arise in your hearts?”  LUKE 24:38

It has always been

My needs are taken care of

No need to wonder

Blessitude 

Lorrie 

12/7/14

Stripped Bare

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Fear.  It possessed their souls.  Maybe it has always been there, but for sure it is magnified…wearing a gown…attached to wires…holes being poked in their arms…strangers walk in…modesty walks out…no idea who will touch them…who will hurt them…what are their rights?

Nothing happens until everything does…and then they move with lightening speed and you can barely keep up…and they don’t know what is happening…but they know they are on borrowed time…and they reflect on a life…and the sadness creeps through the cracks in their skin…and they fight!

They’re not done yet…but it is inappropriate…not the right time…not the right words…maybe they didn’t hear the directions…but suddenly everything they do is wrong…and they are labeled “forgetful!”

Water is wet…but thickened by regrets of a voiceless advocate…as buttons are pushed…calls go unheard…alarms ring in the distance…roommates make terroristic threats

and then there is silence…

you pray for silence

Blessitude

Lorrie

12/4/14

The past week and a half has been one of the most trying of my life.  It started with my brother-in-law who contracted MRSA in his leg and was in danger of having it amputated.  Then his father had a heart attack, on the same day my mother, “The Momma,” was admitted to the hospital with pneumonia.  My brother came to visit The Momma on Thanksgiving Day, and then had a heart attack two days later.

The outcome:  Brother-in-law is home and doing well with both legs intact.  His father had surgery and is recovering.  My brother checked himself out of the hospital after surgery, and I worry if he will follow the strict guidelines that were given to him.  And The Momma was moved to an inpatient rehabilitation center, and although down and out at the moment…I expect her to rally soon and work hard to recover.

And me?…I am hanging in there.  In times like this it can be so very hard to find the good…but I have an unending faith that everything happens the way it is supposed to.  And the only way I got through all of this so far is to look for the things that I am grateful for.  I am Blessitude!

I will not have the time to be as present here as I would love to be.  I thank you all, wonderful souls, for the support you show me :)  I will visit you all as soon as I can.  May you all walk in Love and Peace!

<3 Lorrie

 

“Naked and Unafraid”

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“As the eagle, freed from its cage, soars to its native heights, so the soul, freed from the home of heavy flesh, will rise, and return unto its Father’s house, naked and unafraid.”

~ Ernest Holmes ~

The Science of Mind

Oh, to be unafraid in my nakedness

to be freed from worldly blunders

I face myself in a mirror

Am I the person I wanted to be while my feet walked the ground

or did I make excuses based on happenings?

Am I expressing the desires of my soul

or am I allowing a stranger

to guide my walk in this earthly plane?

Is it not our responsibility

to honor the authentic longings of our soul?

Shall we become imposters

living a reality with no road map

driving and making turns

based on other people’s directions?

No, not I!

Not any longer

I feel my passenger become the driver

I feel my soul rise up

and demand to be given the reins

Yes, sweet soul

I am sorry I delegated you to the role of onlooker

I thank you for your patience

But now that you have been given the opportunity to lead

I feel so free

I feel a heavy burden…

that of living someone else’s life

has been lifted

I bow to your feet

In perfect love

I honor your presence

and I will be your faithful servant

Oh, to live an authentic life…

naked and unafraid…

In this lifetime…

will be amazing

will be a gift!

Blessitude

Lorrie

11/24/14

Photo courtesy of Free Google Images

We Never Stand Alone

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And sometimes

all we can do is have Faith

Faith that what is happening will bring us to the place that we are supposed to be

Faith that no matter how much it hurts now

there was a reason

Faith that after the sun sets

it will rise again tomorrow

And…

We never really stand alone

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Blessitude

Lorrie

11/22/14

I Need Your Opinion…Please Vote for your Favorite

Hi everyone!  I need your help.  The following photos are groupings of decorative glass plates that will be hung on a wall.  They are quite large…approximately 6 feet wide by 4 feet high (the total grouping.)  I have moved these plates for a total of about 5 hours (and boy does my body know it!)

I have narrowed it down to the following four photos (down from the gazillion I looked at!) and would like to put it out there and see what grouping “talks” to you.  So…if you don’t mind…let me know which is your favorite.

And I can’t quite promise that I won’t put up the rest of the gazillion! :)

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20141118_123543      Photo 2

20141118_134548     Photo 3

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Thank you!!! <3

Blessitude

Lorrie

11/18/14