You held me as a baby when I cried,
And you had no idea the roles would be reversed years later.
Tears that never fell,
Welled up for a near century,
Indicative of the pain that was buried so deep,
The pain that couldn’t be felt,
Because there was too much to take care of.
In the darkness I remember caressing your hand,
Non-stop, for hours each day,
Never sure you felt it,
But certain that I needed it!
Certain that somehow it made us both feel better,
Helped us face the unenviable position of the separation.
In the beginning I felt like I couldn’t go on. I was paralyzed with grief. I hated the way it unfolded and I was resentful that it couldn’t be beautiful.
Now I place each foot forward and I move, knowing that it would be the utmost disservice and the worst way to honor your legacy if I decided not to live while I am alive.
My heart literally reaches out and touches all who no longer have their moms here to celebrate Mother’s Day. It’s a complicated relationship between a mother and child, and when they are no longer living in the same plane, the deep hole, the place that they used to occupy is essentially…unfillable.
But this I know…
You are WHO YOU ARE because you are a piece of her! You can decide to die with her, or you can make a promise to LIVE…which allows her to live…and carry on!
I’ve been doing pretty well, but this week leading up to Mother’s Day has been hard. I know so many people dealing with grief and my heart hurts for them.
This prayer is for those who are still here when their loved ones are not:
May you always feel them
Close, in your heart
May you remember that love doesn’t die
It lives eternally in your soul
And in times of pain and sadness
May you remember their smile
In the light of a rainbow
The song of a bird
The magic of a sunrise
or the kindness of a friend.
You are loved beyond your wildest imagination!
HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY!
43 thoughts on “MOTHER’S DAY WITHOUT MOM”
I appreciate your poignant words and vulnerability Lorrie. I felt a similar loss and overwhelm when my father died. We do what we can. I took me a long time to get my life back on track. I’m glad you’re choosing to keep living and loving the best you can. I love your reminder to honor them by living while we’re alive. Wishing you hugs, grace, and acceptance for Mother’s Day. <3
AH! Brad…thank you for your heartfelt words and uplifting message! It was a tough week leading up to today, that’s for sure. But I feel her presence today…and I feel love. And I am grateful for the time we had together.
I was looking for a specific photo on my laptop yesterday and it ended up being a walk down memory lane with Mom. It was good for me to go through those photos and remember the good times😁 Of course, I cried…but they were a mixture of sadness and loss and pure love.
I get what you said about your Dad…and I am sorry you walk here without him. But something tells me he is so proud of the man you have become…and he loves you!!!
Have a wonderfully brilliant day…much love and light!
Thank you Lorrie! Gratitude and remembering the good are a great way to honor those who have passed.
So beautiful and touching. Poignant and real. Thank you Lorrie. <3
Hi Louise. Thank you, friend😁
Wishing you the best Mother’s Day! I can imagine your whole clan of beautiful women getting together to celebrate!!
Beautiful Lorrie 🙂 .
Thank you my friend…my thoughts are with you 💜
This is so beautiful, and in so many ways is it beautiful, Lorrie, that I found it difficult to comment. I just want to give you a hug. 💕🌷🌺🌸
That’s the best comment, Ka! Thank you so much😁 Received in love and so happy to connect with you💜💜
Hope you are feeling well and that everything is super!! Much love…and light!
Honor them while living alive. These words are perfect. I try everyday since my Momma went home.
Awww….that is great. I think it helps to heal our pain. Thanks for writing…and visiting. Sorry you don’t have your mom with you 💜
Lorrie, your words speaks volume for many who want to express but do not. I am happy to see that you have chosen to “live” and not give up…the best you can do to honour your Mum!
You just made me cry, Georgina! Not tears of sadness, but tears that confirm that I have indeed decided to live! The end of Mom’s life didn’t go the way I thought it would…ha…LIFE! But I know in my soul that I did everything I could do to help her.
Thanks for touching me this morning with your kindness. It matters!
You are having a big, huge virtual hug right now, my dear friend. Your Mum knows. Mums always do!
YES!! Again…tears through my smile!!
Thanks, friend! I hope you have a day that is full of wonder and excitement!! <3
Thank you, Lorrie 🙂 And you! xx
It sounds like you were such a blessing to your mom. What a beautiful, poignant, difficult experience. All human emotions visited I am sure, during her illness. I love what you said about living is the way to honor her. May each day be a blessing for you Laurie. I felt this way about my Dad too.
Awww…thanks so much, Linda. And I am sorry you don’t have your dad here. I know it is the normal circle of life and we either all have to go through it…or worse…parents lose children first. But it’s not easy for anyone.
Blessings to you…I hope spring brings you good health and happiness 😁
First of all BIG (((HUGS))) for the pain you are experiencing, Lorrie. I know that pain. And I like you have chosen to live LIFE as my Mom would want me to. Spring was her favorite season. I miss her so much sometimes. Your vulnerableness in showing everyone your Heart is healing in of itself. I also know that by showing your Truth, you have helped others with their own grief. Much LOVE to you, dear One. This is a beautiful post, one that put stinging tears in my eyes. 💞💞💞
I appreciate your words so much, Amy! We never really know the impact we have on others, so hear you say that is very heartwarming to me. I share from my soul in the hopes that it can help someone. Nice to have your confirmation.
I know you miss your mom too! You have been an inspiration to me in how you handled your relationship and subsequent grief.
Sweet blessings, dear Amy. I hope the sun shines for you tomorrow☀️💜
No sun again today …. *sighs* …. and more rain is forecasted. We are drowning in water here. Never have I seen such a wet Spring! And yes when we make ourselves vulnerable, that gives example to others in how to “be” and in turn, hopefully they too will learn how to be vulnerable to obtain healing. Much Love to you this day, dear friend! 🌟🌟💜
Thanks, Amy. Your wisdom is spot on. Praying you see the sun soon…it is so hard to keep the positivity when you are surrounded by gray!! Believe me…I couldn’t wait to get out of the north…6 weeks and 2 days of sun!!
Hang in there…keep creating 💜☀️🌻☀️☀️☀️
The sun is OUT today, Lorrie!! Your prayers were heard! Bless you! OH to see the sunshine! Now to warm up a bit more …. (((HUGS)))!!! 💞💞💞
Yayyy!! So happy for you Amy!! 😁😁💜💜
Thank you for this beautiful and deeply comforting message, Lorrie. I love that you write for those whose mothers are no longer living on the same plane. Our mother’s spirits live on and we carry the memories forward because “love doesn’t die. It lives eternally in your soul.” Powerful words of wisdom! Sending huge HUGS and warm smiles.
Oh…JoAnna! Thank you. I know you are grieving and dealing with all the “stuff” one has to deal with. Not easy times…but so incredibly powerful at times…yes? I know you are a strong woman with huge faith…and that has helped you immensely. We move on…carry on…and we are a piece of them!
Sweet blessings…I will be over…but wonder if you are back in your home? Hope all is super!! 💜
Incredibly powerful at time, is right! I’m back in my home but still going to bring stuff back from my parent’s old house. Today was very powerful as I get closer to being finished. But I have my mother’s hutch and angels here with me now, so that helps a lot. You are strong, too, Lorrie. It’s all going to work out. It IS working out! Thank you for understanding so well. <3 Wishing your peace and comfort.
They prepared us both well! And you’ve got it…everything IS working out! Lots of love and light on your journey this week!
Thanks, dear Lorrie. Love and light to you!
Oh Lorrie this is so beautiful, thank you for sharing. Hugs to you! <3
Thank you, Julie. Hugs received…and sent back. Appreciate your kindness. Have a wonderful Sunday! <3
A profound and beautiful tribute, Lorrie. Sending love and hugs. <3
Hi Carol! Thanks so much! I have to say that writing this helped…and feeling love from you and others…ALWAYS HELPS! Hope that you are in a very good place and that love shines on you💜
Such a beautiful tribute to your Mom, Lorrie.. I know how much you must miss her.. I know I am late arriving.. But sending special hugs my friend.. I know your Mom is smiling at you returning all the love and caring you gave her. <3
Much love <3
Thank you, Sue 🙂
I have a newfound peace…really just this week. I had an “encounter” with Mom…and ever since I feel free…and know that I want to continue to live my life walking forward through the pain of the past…into pure love!
I do miss her…but I can feel her inside my heart and I know that we are in a really good place together <3
Sweet blessings, Sue.
And inside our hearts all our loved ones shall be Lorrie.. 🙂 So pleased you are working your way through it all <3 Much love <3
Lorrie, how poetic and beautiful your words are about your mom…
Hello my dear friend! 😁Thank you💜 I’m so grateful for your friendship…and your support!
The ocean may cooperate tomorrow 🏄♂️
“You are WHO YOU ARE because you are a piece of her! You can decide to die with her, or you can make a promise to LIVE…which allows her to live…and carry on!” Yes my bright and beautiful friend, this is what the “promise” I wrote of in the post to my mother refers to. YES YES YES …. but I recall the “first” … all of the “firsts” … and I saddened that I wasn’t there with or for you on this one. It’s a strange and uncharted territory being the child of someone no longer here … you’re still their child, they still exist, but without children of your own the day seems hollow and as though we are a bit alien within our own kind. Know this, that day, as with others, will never be as they were before, or before that … but there will come a time when you tenaciously and passionately celebrate a new kind of Mother’s Day, filled the same kind of gratitude and togetherness as you once did …. it’ll come when it comes. <3 Much love beautiful friend.
Thank you so much for your beautiful support and love. I know you know exactly how I feel…and it helps to have your wisdom having gone before me.
I miss my mom so much. But I feel her with me every single day. I know that we have come to a place of pure love and forgiveness. I know that she is no longer in pain and I know that she wants only good for me.
I had a dream recently of my mom and dad together…and happy. It made me feel so much peace 🙂
Thanks for your love. I am so grateful…so full of Blessitude to have you in my life <3