You held me as a baby when I cried,
And you had no idea the roles would be reversed years later.
Tears that never fell,
Welled up for a near century,
Indicative of the pain that was buried so deep,
The pain that couldn’t be felt,
Because there was too much to take care of.
In the darkness I remember caressing your hand,
Non-stop, for hours each day,
Never sure you felt it,
But certain that I needed it!
Certain that somehow it made us both feel better,
Helped us face the unenviable position of the separation.
In the beginning I felt like I couldn’t go on. I was paralyzed with grief. I hated the way it unfolded and I was resentful that it couldn’t be beautiful.
Now I place each foot forward and I move, knowing that it would be the utmost disservice and the worst way to honor your legacy if I decided not to live while I am alive.
My heart literally reaches out and touches all who no longer have their moms here to celebrate Mother’s Day. It’s a complicated relationship between a mother and child, and when they are no longer living in the same plane, the deep hole, the place that they used to occupy is essentially…unfillable.
But this I know…
You are WHO YOU ARE because you are a piece of her! You can decide to die with her, or you can make a promise to LIVE…which allows her to live…and carry on!
I’ve been doing pretty well, but this week leading up to Mother’s Day has been hard. I know so many people dealing with grief and my heart hurts for them.
This prayer is for those who are still here when their loved ones are not:
May you always feel them
Close, in your heart
May you remember that love doesn’t die
It lives eternally in your soul
And in times of pain and sadness
May you remember their smile
In the light of a rainbow
The song of a bird
The magic of a sunrise
or the kindness of a friend.
You are loved beyond your wildest imagination!
HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY!