MOTHER’S DAY WITHOUT MOM

MOODY-SEA

 

You held me as a baby when I cried,

And you had no idea the roles would be reversed years later.

Tears that never fell,

Welled up for a near century,

Wracking sobs,

Indicative of the pain that was buried so deep,

The pain that couldn’t be felt,

Because there was too much to take care of.

In the darkness I remember caressing your hand,

Non-stop, for hours each day,

Never sure you felt it,

But certain that I needed it!

Certain that somehow it made us both feel better,

Helped us face the unenviable position of the separation.

In the beginning I felt like I couldn’t go on. I was paralyzed with grief. I hated the way it unfolded and I was resentful that it couldn’t be beautiful.

Now I place each foot forward and I move, knowing that it would be the utmost disservice and the worst way to honor your legacy if I decided not to live while I am alive.

My heart literally reaches out and touches all who no longer have their moms here to celebrate Mother’s Day. It’s a complicated relationship between a mother and child, and when they are no longer living in the same plane, the deep hole, the place that they used to occupy is essentially…unfillable.

But this I know…

You are WHO YOU ARE because you are a piece of her! You can decide to die with her, or you can make a promise to LIVE…which allows her to live…and carry on!

I’ve been doing pretty well, but this week leading up to Mother’s Day has been hard. I know so many people dealing with grief and my heart hurts for them.

This prayer is for those who are still here when their loved ones are not:

May you always feel them

Close, in your heart

May you remember that love doesn’t die

It lives eternally in your soul

And in times of pain and sadness

May you remember their smile

In the light of a rainbow

The song of a bird

The magic of a sunrise

or the kindness of a friend.

 

You are loved beyond your wildest imagination!

HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY!

Blessitude!

Lorrie ❤

05/12/2019

Posted by

My healing journey on the continuum of "It's all wrong" to "It's all right!" I love art and the creative process, reading, writing, and playing tennis.

30 thoughts on “MOTHER’S DAY WITHOUT MOM

  1. I appreciate your poignant words and vulnerability Lorrie. I felt a similar loss and overwhelm when my father died. We do what we can. I took me a long time to get my life back on track. I’m glad you’re choosing to keep living and loving the best you can. I love your reminder to honor them by living while we’re alive. Wishing you hugs, grace, and acceptance for Mother’s Day. ❤

    Liked by 1 person

    1. AH! Brad…thank you for your heartfelt words and uplifting message! It was a tough week leading up to today, that’s for sure. But I feel her presence today…and I feel love. And I am grateful for the time we had together.
      I was looking for a specific photo on my laptop yesterday and it ended up being a walk down memory lane with Mom. It was good for me to go through those photos and remember the good times😁 Of course, I cried…but they were a mixture of sadness and loss and pure love.

      I get what you said about your Dad…and I am sorry you walk here without him. But something tells me he is so proud of the man you have become…and he loves you!!!

      Have a wonderfully brilliant day…much love and light!

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Lorrie, your words speaks volume for many who want to express but do not. I am happy to see that you have chosen to “live” and not give up…the best you can do to honour your Mum!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. You just made me cry, Georgina! Not tears of sadness, but tears that confirm that I have indeed decided to live! The end of Mom’s life didn’t go the way I thought it would…ha…LIFE! But I know in my soul that I did everything I could do to help her.

      Thanks for touching me this morning with your kindness. It matters!

      Liked by 1 person

  3. It sounds like you were such a blessing to your mom. What a beautiful, poignant, difficult experience. All human emotions visited I am sure, during her illness. I love what you said about living is the way to honor her. May each day be a blessing for you Laurie. I felt this way about my Dad too.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Awww…thanks so much, Linda. And I am sorry you don’t have your dad here. I know it is the normal circle of life and we either all have to go through it…or worse…parents lose children first. But it’s not easy for anyone.
      Blessings to you…I hope spring brings you good health and happiness 😁

      Liked by 1 person

  4. First of all BIG (((HUGS))) for the pain you are experiencing, Lorrie. I know that pain. And I like you have chosen to live LIFE as my Mom would want me to. Spring was her favorite season. I miss her so much sometimes. Your vulnerableness in showing everyone your Heart is healing in of itself. I also know that by showing your Truth, you have helped others with their own grief. Much LOVE to you, dear One. This is a beautiful post, one that put stinging tears in my eyes. 💞💞💞

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I appreciate your words so much, Amy! We never really know the impact we have on others, so hear you say that is very heartwarming to me. I share from my soul in the hopes that it can help someone. Nice to have your confirmation.

      I know you miss your mom too! You have been an inspiration to me in how you handled your relationship and subsequent grief.

      Sweet blessings, dear Amy. I hope the sun shines for you tomorrow☀️💜

      Liked by 1 person

      1. No sun again today …. *sighs* …. and more rain is forecasted. We are drowning in water here. Never have I seen such a wet Spring! And yes when we make ourselves vulnerable, that gives example to others in how to “be” and in turn, hopefully they too will learn how to be vulnerable to obtain healing. Much Love to you this day, dear friend! 🌟🌟💜

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        1. Thanks, Amy. Your wisdom is spot on. Praying you see the sun soon…it is so hard to keep the positivity when you are surrounded by gray!! Believe me…I couldn’t wait to get out of the north…6 weeks and 2 days of sun!!
          Hang in there…keep creating 💜☀️🌻☀️☀️☀️

          Liked by 1 person

  5. Thank you for this beautiful and deeply comforting message, Lorrie. I love that you write for those whose mothers are no longer living on the same plane. Our mother’s spirits live on and we carry the memories forward because “love doesn’t die. It lives eternally in your soul.” Powerful words of wisdom! Sending huge HUGS and warm smiles.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Oh…JoAnna! Thank you. I know you are grieving and dealing with all the “stuff” one has to deal with. Not easy times…but so incredibly powerful at times…yes? I know you are a strong woman with huge faith…and that has helped you immensely. We move on…carry on…and we are a piece of them!
      Sweet blessings…I will be over…but wonder if you are back in your home? Hope all is super!! 💜

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Incredibly powerful at time, is right! I’m back in my home but still going to bring stuff back from my parent’s old house. Today was very powerful as I get closer to being finished. But I have my mother’s hutch and angels here with me now, so that helps a lot. You are strong, too, Lorrie. It’s all going to work out. It IS working out! Thank you for understanding so well. ❤ Wishing your peace and comfort.

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