Like a tidal wave
Crashes to the shore
Hit in the heart’s center
Tears fall like rocks to the ground
Just memories that live
Torn from a deep sleep
A tissue floats
In the wind
I am clawing my way out of such an intense wave of grief; it was unexpected and uncontrolled. I can’t explain it. It was The Momma’s birthday, but this would be the third birthday since she passed. I know for certain that the other two were nothing like this. It was a little scary because it lasted so long. It was like the darkness that used to be so familiar found its way back to me…and I didn’t like it.
I am beginning to feel more like myself. I feel like I am moving back into the energy of love and gratitude…and I LIKE IT!
I realize that there are no hard rules to dealing with grief. I am a firm believer that we make our lives with the thoughts we think and the choices we make. Grief is a little tricky because we feel it in the very essence of our being and it can not always be willed away with our thoughts.
But one thing I know is The Momma would not want me to feel so bad; she would want me to be happy and to live a good life. And no matter how old we get we still want to please our parents…so I pull myself up by my bootstraps and I force myself to be a part of life!
This is one of my favorite photos of The Momma! She loved her ice cream so much I have to believe there is ice cream in Heaven!
This post is for everyone out there who has lost a loved one and has experienced this sudden, all encompassing grief. I am sending the biggest hug…the kind where I don’t let go until you have had enough and you let go. May you be able to feel peace and know that your loved one is always with you; always watching and guiding you.
25 THINGS I KNOW ABOUT GRIEF
1). We all experience it differently
2). It can change…and change quickly
3). It is not in your brain…it is in the nucleus of your soul
4). You wouldn’t feel it if you didn’t love greatly
5). It can come on unexpectedly and uncontrollably
6). It can last a very long time
7). The severity can lessen over time but it is never really gone
8). You can run…but you can’t hide
9). You can not WILL it away
10). It is best to sit with it because what you fight only gets stronger
11). You can’t explain it to someone who has never felt it
12). It can make the strongest person cry
13). It makes other people uncomfortable
14). It is okay to talk about it…in fact it can help
15). If you let your grief go it does not lessen the love you had for that person
16). You should not feel guilty for moving on
17). Your loved one would want you to move on
18). It is better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all
19). If you can remember the good times…it will help
20). The bad times will be magnified
21). Eventually…you will be able to forgive yourself
22). It is okay to talk to your loved one like they are still here
23). If you really take notice you can feel them with you
24). And if you really really take notice you can see signs from your loved one
25). You are going to be okay
National Hotline Number for Grief Support – GRIEFSHARE (800) 395-5755
If you could use some help you can reach out to me on my ASK SEEK KNOCK page <3