There’s no set time limit
We all experience it differently
Some won’t want to talk about it
Others won’t be able to stop
The relationship is one that has many facets
And therefore many feelings
Be it best friends
Or someone you oblige
There is a connection
That can never be broken
On a day that is designed to celebrate moms
It is sometimes hard to remember
That all of us don’t have our moms in the physical realm
And some have mixed emotions
While there are fractures in the landscape called pain
As a piece of you went with them
You must also know that a piece of them
Stayed behind with you
The unpredictability is what seems to hurt so much, because we can’t count on a time limit for the deepest pain to be over. NO. Sometimes the deepest pain sneaks up on you and takes your breath away.
The other thing about grief is it is not something that ever ends. There’s no finish line up ahead with a yellow tape to bust through. This sad feeling and the longing to see and touch your loved one never completely goes away.
There seems to be a lot of judgment around the way people grieve. Some will be able to move on in what looks like a carefree, non-caring way. I would warn that it’s best not to judge this because we have no idea what this person may be feeling inside. Not everyone is comfortable sharing their grief, and some may feel such a pressure cooker of emotions that they are terrified that if they spoke about it, they would truly burst.
On the other end of the spectrum is the person who, no matter how much time passes, lives in their grief so deeply that they can’t move on. These people are so pained, and they cannot hide it. They are clinically depressed and no longer care about living their own lives.
While these reactions appear to be opposite ends of a continuum, the thing I would warn is that they are really the same. They are soul in pain over the loss of a loved one and they are trying their best to navigate the new normal.
I hold a space for healing ~ a space for healing in whatever time frame someone may need. I’d love to take away the judgment and allow everyone the ability to deal with grief in their own time…their own way.
I do know that it can feel like a piece of you died and left with your loved one, but you need to remember losing that piece only made room for the piece of your loved one that will always stay with you!
I miss my mom every day. I look back and wish I had done some things differently, but on the whole I am good because while she was alive I was very aware that she wouldn’t always be alive. I was so aware that one day she would be (mostly) gone.
I send out wishes of love, light, and happiness to all the mothers out there on this Mother’s Day 2023. I send a warm hug and compassion to all those who have lost their mom, or who had very difficult relations with their mom. It can be complicated.
I wish you peace as you navigate the wily road of grief, and there’s an open invitation if you need someone to talk with – all you need to do is ASK!