I Remember…An Odyssey ~ Forgiveness

This is a series of poems that follow a very deep healing experience.  I put a disclaimer here to say that it deals with child sexual abuse and while I hope it affords healing, I beg you to proceed only if you are in a place of safety and can handle it.

Unfortunately, I cannot figure out how to get the series to scroll in order…here at WP…the last post shows first.  So I am going to list the poems in order right here…each poem’s name will be linked to the post.  Each new post will also have links in order.

Thanks for visiting and leaving your footprint here!

I REMEMBER…AN ODYSSEY

1).  Introduction & Haiku

2).  The Funny Thing About Truth

3).  The Journey to…

4).  He Said I Have Anger

5).  The Long Sleepless Night

6).  Broken Arrow

7).  Safe

8).  Alone

9).  On The Verge

10).  Shred

11).  The Thread

12).  Vindication

13).  Another Inch…Perhaps a Mile

14).  Emancipation

15).  Forgiveness

 

FORGIVENESS

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The colors dance upon my mind

A kaleidoscope of shapes

Changing colors melt

And turn into another

All smooth

All swift

Synergistic

Beautiful

Is this what forgiveness feels like?

Free wheeling

Running

Jumping

Weightless

Free

Smiles extend out

Better yet they come back

Gentle

Easy

Loving

Kind

Things that annoyed me before

Are simple

No worries

No rushing

We’ll get there

No hassle

It will all work out

Peace!

Yes, if I had to name this

I would name it peace

With joy!

Yes, add joy to peace

That is what this is

And freedom!

Don’t forget about freedom

Peace + Joy + Freedom

The sun shines brighter

The ocean smells better

And every flower I pass

Has more essence than it had before

Every person I see has more soul than ever before

Let the smile in my heart reach out

Through my lips

Let the laughter of my soul reach out

Through a song

And let the love of my being reach out

Through a hug

A hug for creation

A hug for the universe

If only I had known what forgiveness felt like

Sooner

I am so grateful to each and every one of you who walked on this healing journey with me.  The support you gave to me helped in ways that are real, that are palpable.

I am so happy that I scheduled this series in advance.  I knew that it would be hard for me to post on consecutive days for two weeks in a normal time span.  But the past week has been anything but normal.

I had to drive up north to see my Lyme doctor.  The plan was to drive two days, see my son on Sunday (SonDay :)), see my doctor on Monday and drive two days home.

Saturday night I was informed that my father most probably has lung cancer…they are awaiting the biopsy.  The doctor told him that due to his age (86) and current health, he would recommend that he not do any treatment. He told him to go home and live out his life.  My father said, “The hell with that…take the damn thing out!”  He plans to live to 103 and be shot by a jealous husband.

My heart told me that I should go to visit him Sunday.  My mind intervened and said, “Are you sure?”  I listened to my heart and with the comfort of my son by my side, I made a “surprise” visit…a very surprise visit.  I am so happy that I was able to listen to my heart.

I saw my doctor Monday morning and continued on the road from there.  I was in Virginia when the assisted living facility where The Momma lives called.  She was on her way to the hospital.

I was 15 hours away.  I can’t begin to tell you how frightened I was.  I called my best girlfriend, M, and told her.  She was in her car on the way to The Momma within 5 minutes!  She saved both our lives that day.

The emergency room doctor did an EKG and was going to send The Momma home…her heart was fine.  But, you see, my girlfriend had had a pulmonary embolism a year and a half ago.  She told the ER doctor that The Momma’s symptoms were identical to hers when she had one.  The doctor did not like being told what to look for.  But my girlfriend did not care!  She did not leave him alone until he consented to do a test.

He ordered a CT scan and then didn’t want to show his face when it turned out that The Momma did, indeed, have a pulmonary embolism!

We drove through the night to get to her.  I don’t think I could have slept anyway.  By the time I got to lie down and take a small nap I had been awake for 31 hours.

She is having treatment in the hospital and is in pretty good spirits.  As luck would have it, the hospital was so busy the only room they could give her was a private room.  She keeps exclaiming how nice the room is 🙂

I know how rare it is to have both parents aged 86 (The Momma will be 87 next month) still with me.  I also know that we all walk a different journey here on earth. I am so grateful for the healing that I so very recently received and worked through.  It wasn’t too late.  It was perfect, divine timing.

This post is titled “Forgiveness” because I finally understand what it means.  It does not mean that I condone the behavior or actions of someone who hurt me.  It means that I can be empathetic and I can look at what had happened in their life that made them the way they are.  It means I can say and more importantly believe that they did the best they could at that time with what they had to work with.

As I said above, we all walk our own journey.  We all make decisions.  From the bottom of my soul I thank you for deciding to walk a little while with me!

Blessitude!

Lorrie ❤

4/5/15

OH!!!  AND HAPPY EASTER!!!♡♡♡

I will be taking some time off from posting here so I can catch up reading what you all have been up to! 😉

63 thoughts on “I Remember…An Odyssey ~ Forgiveness

  1. Wow. Praying for you!
    God is so good! If you hadn’t been on your way to your dad, you may not have even called your friend who made the doctor do that test.
    I totally see God at work in all this,and I bet your dad does live to be 103! 😊
    Happy Easter

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    1. Amanda…Thank you so much. Your caring heart inspires me. I don’t think I responded to your message where you told me you work with people in crisis. I read it and couldn’t respond at that moment as it has been a little crazy around here. But I want you to know I didn’t forget it!! I appreciate your empathy and your support so much ♡ I know this is a process…but I had a huge breakthrough…and it gives me confidence!! Many blessings to you ❤

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Wonderful timing Lorrie! with Sonday, Easter, forgiveness and you rising in peace and joy! I’m glad your parents are alive and being well cared for.
    Healing prayers for your parents, hugs and celebration for you to rise up to love.

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  3. Wow, sweet Lorrie so evident how this all was put in order to happen just as it did. Get rest and time for yourself every chance you get no matter what. Your mom and dad are my Shug’s age, he is 87. Sending you lots of love and hugs dear, sweet Lorrie. Praying for you and your sweet parents. Happy and Blessed Easter to you all.

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    1. And good Sunday Easter morning to you and to Shug, dear Maggie!! It is all in His hands…and I release my fears to Him!! I am full of love my friend and I wish to extend that out to all. God bless you…Happy Easter ❤

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  4. They Say God works in mysterious ways and it seems Lorrie that your friend was there to help your Mum… Maybe also to give the lesson to the Dr involved to check further than his nose and do more tests in future cases, Lets hope so,
    I also send thoughts out to your Dad Lorrie.. My own Father suffered the same disease, But left it far too late, he never went to see a Dr for over 20 yrs..

    Sending you also Lorrie so much love and healing thoughts… You are all contained within my prayers..
    Love and Blessings for a Happy Restful Easter..
    Hugs Sue ❤

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    1. Thank you Sue. I’m sorry to hear about your Dad…and I thank you for the good energy that I can feel from you!! Yes…many things happened that certainly looked to have a Divine hand guiding them. I pray for that Doctor, as well as the doctor who was negligent about the clot in the first place! (Long story)

      I wish you a beautiful day filled with love and happiness and hope!! Thank you for being here, Sue ♡♡

      Liked by 1 person

  5. Thank you Lorrie, have you considered a career as a “Tour Guide”. I enjoyed the walk, it was beautiful. Wishing you, and those that you love and care for, wellness and peace of mind. 🙂 Harlon

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    1. Hi Theresa…I hope the series wrapped up with great healing and some closure of the wounds. I honestly would not have handled the bumpy road that I am on now if I had not gone through that healing. I’m so grateful! Much love to you…many blessings!! ❤ ❤

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  6. One of your best poems ever. I loved the brief lines and every word has a weight. Meaningful and impressive. Have a fantastic week!

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  7. Oh wow Lorrie. You have had quite the week, haven’t you. I hope and pray that your parents gain in health and strength, and that you have the strength needed for both of them. Wow. I’m sure you were exhausted after all that. So great that things worked out for good. You visiting your dad, and your friend, mom and the doctor. Wow. I bet that doctor was embarrassed.
    And what a lovely flower you chose for describing forgiveness.
    Blessings and prayers,
    Staci 🙂 ❤

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    1. Thank you my dear friend! Yes, it has been quite a week! Time for rest…restoration. Every single event had a divine hand in it…it all comes together and we realize we are not alone! Thanks for your support, Staci…I so appreciate you! The little flower…a crocus…was peeking out of the brown earth when I was up north on that trip. I just loved how it looked so vulnerable standing against the blurry brown of the earth. And it was opening….and I think that is also what forgiveness is…opening and showing your vulnerability and realizing it is all okay!! Much love to you dear friend. The Momma is home from the hospital and recuperating. My Dad will receive news today. I am Blessitude ❤

      Liked by 1 person

  8. Oh Lorrie…so much to say to you! Prayers all around!! Pray…PRAY HARD! And remember to breathe…The Lord has “loaded your plate,” He must think very highly of you as do we. Be safe in your travels, best to you and yours.

    ~Steve

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      1. Lorrie, my dear, you always have my friendship and support, and you can talk with me anytime you’d like about anything at all!

        If you want to, use my email at: The_True_Light@gmx.com to give me more details…

        I know you pray, and pray a lot! I will add you to my prayers too, and “Da Momma,” and your Father as well.

        But don’t forget to take care of you too. You must do that so you can be up to supporting everyone else! (A fact I learned with my mother…)

        Good luck with your trip, travel safely, and find some enjoyment in knowing you are honoring God as you look after your family!

        Keep in touch…


        Steve

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        1. Thanks for your light thoughts and well wishes, Steve. It has been a lot to handle all at once but we all seem to be “okay.” I am hanging in there and I know that this too shall pass. It has been an amazing time even in the dark hours. Thanks for your offer…it is nice to know you are there. I am sure it brings up some things for you as well… I hope you are ok. Many blessings _/\_

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          1. It is true, I’m reminded of the trials and sense of loss due to the recent passing of my mother last February.

            But as with all things, the Lord has seen fit to answer my prayers and see me and my family through everything…and he will get all of you past this current trial and anxiety too!

            You are loving God in these things you are doing, and setting a super example for others as to how we should love and attend to people, family or not.

            So often, we ignore those in need, or don’t help our family or friends in need simply because we don’t have time, or we may hold something against them.

            That has always seemed so wrong to me! We work to be as Christ-like as we can be. He is he Master at showing love and finding time for everyone!

            Take care and we’ll be talking…


            ~Steve

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            1. Yes…I thought it might be too fresh in your mind…sorry I opened a wound that hurts 😦 Thank you for your support, I really appreciate your kind words. I have faith that everything happens exactly as it should and that we will all get through in our own ways 🙂 Hope the rest of your week is super!!

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              1. Lorrie, sorry it has taken me a day or two to answer this. My dear, your post didn’t open any “fresh wounds.”

                Yes I miss my mother, but I also believe she is now spiritually perfect and in the eternal care of the Lord.

                That is actually comforting, not sorrowful, and you helped to bring that to my mind once more!

                As I have said, I am here to listen to anything you want to talk about. And I am tough enough to lend support. I just need you to trust that with me.

                Have a super day, Lorrie, and let me know how everyone is when you have time…


                Steve

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              2. That is very beautiful…and I pray I will have that kind of grace when and if the time comes. The Momma looked and acted better today than she has in over a year!! 🙂 My Dad has a biopsy scheduled soon. Everybody is truly hanging in there!! Thanks so much for your support ♡

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              3. You are capable of anything you wish in your heart with the love and support of God Almighty!

                I am so glad to hear about Momma’s improvement! And as for your father, may the Lord be with those attending to his care.

                Lorrie, you and your family be sure to take a few minutes in prayer each day for everything you all are going through. Everything in this life is in the hands of God. All that happens is by His will. Be sure to “plead your case” to Him for improvement and health…

                Keep hanging tough, lady!


                Steve

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              4. I know you are, and God knows it as well. We thank Him always for our blessings. But we also need to understand that trials and challenges are also a part of God’s love for us.
                (Hebrews 12).

                These things serve to make us tougher and stronger against the worldly attacks of Satan, both by his hand and/or by other people acting on his behalf…

                ~Steve

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  9. That’s how sweet forgiveness and healing feels! And the Divine sent you to make a surprise visit, while sending your friend to put the doctor straight (I’ve done that too, and know how they look after the lay(wo)man is right). Sending blessings to you, Dear Lorrie.

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    1. It’s a beautiful thing…isn’t it, Tiny? I am so very grateful and also so very aware of the miracles that occurred! This is when faith is fruitful. I am blessitude!! And Blessitude to you dear friend!! ♡♡

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  10. Lorrie this entire post is a healing journey of the heart with your beautiful words…the photo you chose also perfectly complimented your words… it moved me my deepest core of being…my prayers are with your parents and I pray for your good health my friend…Lots of love and hugs for sharing your heart with us ❤ ❤

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    1. Ah! Neha…Thank you so much! Your words touch my heart. I’m so happy you could feel the healing…it was an amazing time in my life! I just got off the phone with The Momma…and she was “chatty Kathy!” 🙂 She is feeling much better and I couldn’t be happier. My Dad’s biopsy is in a few weeks, but he is in good spirits. I am dealing with the after effects of huge stress so I am riding the storm. All is super…and it is thanks to beautiful souls like yours who send such incredible energy!! ❤ ❤

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      1. ❤ ❤ aww I am glad that your mom is feeling better and your dad is in good spirits…all my best wishes and prayers with you as you deal with the new challenges…you are a brave soul who inspires many! Much love ❤

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  11. :’) Good Lord, tears welled up when i read the last few lines, Lorrie. I’m so…I don’t know if ‘proud’ would be the right word here but I can make sense of what you wrote and wanted to convey there, and I feel ‘sorted out’ after reading Forgiveness.
    I wish to reach where you are, someday.
    Prayers for you and your family, my friend. ❤

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    1. Ah!! Your comment brought years to my eyes 🙂 I’m so happy my journey had such a profound effect on you. And as far as reaching where I am someday…you will go much further than that my friend! I just know it!! You “see” things with your heart as well as your mind so you will reach summits much higher than you may think!! Stay blessed and thank you so much for your support ♡♡♡

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  12. Hi Lorrie dear ….you are a beautiful soul , one I am so grateful to have met …walking with you is filled with awe and admiration for your wondrous journey … and now blossoms of spring bursting forth …hugs and love to you , megxxx

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