I Remember…An Odyssey ~ Forgiveness

This is a series of poems that follow a very deep healing experience.  I put a disclaimer here to say that it deals with child sexual abuse and while I hope it affords healing, I beg you to proceed only if you are in a place of safety and can handle it.

Unfortunately, I cannot figure out how to get the series to scroll in order…here at WP…the last post shows first.  So I am going to list the poems in order right here…each poem’s name will be linked to the post.  Each new post will also have links in order.

Thanks for visiting and leaving your footprint here!

I REMEMBER…AN ODYSSEY

1).  Introduction & Haiku

2).  The Funny Thing About Truth

3).  The Journey to…

4).  He Said I Have Anger

5).  The Long Sleepless Night

6).  Broken Arrow

7).  Safe

8).  Alone

9).  On The Verge

10).  Shred

11).  The Thread

12).  Vindication

13).  Another Inch…Perhaps a Mile

14).  Emancipation

15).  Forgiveness

 

FORGIVENESS

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The colors dance upon my mind

A kaleidoscope of shapes

Changing colors melt

And turn into another

All smooth

All swift

Synergistic

Beautiful

Is this what forgiveness feels like?

Free wheeling

Running

Jumping

Weightless

Free

Smiles extend out

Better yet they come back

Gentle

Easy

Loving

Kind

Things that annoyed me before

Are simple

No worries

No rushing

We’ll get there

No hassle

It will all work out

Peace!

Yes, if I had to name this

I would name it peace

With joy!

Yes, add joy to peace

That is what this is

And freedom!

Don’t forget about freedom

Peace + Joy + Freedom

The sun shines brighter

The ocean smells better

And every flower I pass

Has more essence than it had before

Every person I see has more soul than ever before

Let the smile in my heart reach out

Through my lips

Let the laughter of my soul reach out

Through a song

And let the love of my being reach out

Through a hug

A hug for creation

A hug for the universe

If only I had known what forgiveness felt like

Sooner

I am so grateful to each and every one of you who walked on this healing journey with me.  The support you gave to me helped in ways that are real, that are palpable.

I am so happy that I scheduled this series in advance.  I knew that it would be hard for me to post on consecutive days for two weeks in a normal time span.  But the past week has been anything but normal.

I had to drive up north to see my Lyme doctor.  The plan was to drive two days, see my son on Sunday (SonDay :)), see my doctor on Monday and drive two days home.

Saturday night I was informed that my father most probably has lung cancer…they are awaiting the biopsy.  The doctor told him that due to his age (86) and current health, he would recommend that he not do any treatment. He told him to go home and live out his life.  My father said, “The hell with that…take the damn thing out!”  He plans to live to 103 and be shot by a jealous husband.

My heart told me that I should go to visit him Sunday.  My mind intervened and said, “Are you sure?”  I listened to my heart and with the comfort of my son by my side, I made a “surprise” visit…a very surprise visit.  I am so happy that I was able to listen to my heart.

I saw my doctor Monday morning and continued on the road from there.  I was in Virginia when the assisted living facility where The Momma lives called.  She was on her way to the hospital.

I was 15 hours away.  I can’t begin to tell you how frightened I was.  I called my best girlfriend, M, and told her.  She was in her car on the way to The Momma within 5 minutes!  She saved both our lives that day.

The emergency room doctor did an EKG and was going to send The Momma home…her heart was fine.  But, you see, my girlfriend had had a pulmonary embolism a year and a half ago.  She told the ER doctor that The Momma’s symptoms were identical to hers when she had one.  The doctor did not like being told what to look for.  But my girlfriend did not care!  She did not leave him alone until he consented to do a test.

He ordered a CT scan and then didn’t want to show his face when it turned out that The Momma did, indeed, have a pulmonary embolism!

We drove through the night to get to her.  I don’t think I could have slept anyway.  By the time I got to lie down and take a small nap I had been awake for 31 hours.

She is having treatment in the hospital and is in pretty good spirits.  As luck would have it, the hospital was so busy the only room they could give her was a private room.  She keeps exclaiming how nice the room is 🙂

I know how rare it is to have both parents aged 86 (The Momma will be 87 next month) still with me.  I also know that we all walk a different journey here on earth. I am so grateful for the healing that I so very recently received and worked through.  It wasn’t too late.  It was perfect, divine timing.

This post is titled “Forgiveness” because I finally understand what it means.  It does not mean that I condone the behavior or actions of someone who hurt me.  It means that I can be empathetic and I can look at what had happened in their life that made them the way they are.  It means I can say and more importantly believe that they did the best they could at that time with what they had to work with.

As I said above, we all walk our own journey.  We all make decisions.  From the bottom of my soul I thank you for deciding to walk a little while with me!

Blessitude!

Lorrie ❤

4/5/15

OH!!!  AND HAPPY EASTER!!!♡♡♡

I will be taking some time off from posting here so I can catch up reading what you all have been up to! 😉

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My healing journey on the continuum of "It's all wrong" to "It's all right!" I love art and the creative process, reading, writing, and playing tennis.

63 thoughts on “I Remember…An Odyssey ~ Forgiveness

  1. That’s how sweet forgiveness and healing feels! And the Divine sent you to make a surprise visit, while sending your friend to put the doctor straight (I’ve done that too, and know how they look after the lay(wo)man is right). Sending blessings to you, Dear Lorrie.

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    1. It’s a beautiful thing…isn’t it, Tiny? I am so very grateful and also so very aware of the miracles that occurred! This is when faith is fruitful. I am blessitude!! And Blessitude to you dear friend!! ♡♡

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  2. Lorrie this entire post is a healing journey of the heart with your beautiful words…the photo you chose also perfectly complimented your words… it moved me my deepest core of being…my prayers are with your parents and I pray for your good health my friend…Lots of love and hugs for sharing your heart with us ❤ ❤

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    1. Ah! Neha…Thank you so much! Your words touch my heart. I’m so happy you could feel the healing…it was an amazing time in my life! I just got off the phone with The Momma…and she was “chatty Kathy!” 🙂 She is feeling much better and I couldn’t be happier. My Dad’s biopsy is in a few weeks, but he is in good spirits. I am dealing with the after effects of huge stress so I am riding the storm. All is super…and it is thanks to beautiful souls like yours who send such incredible energy!! ❤ ❤

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      1. ❤ ❤ aww I am glad that your mom is feeling better and your dad is in good spirits…all my best wishes and prayers with you as you deal with the new challenges…you are a brave soul who inspires many! Much love ❤

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  3. :’) Good Lord, tears welled up when i read the last few lines, Lorrie. I’m so…I don’t know if ‘proud’ would be the right word here but I can make sense of what you wrote and wanted to convey there, and I feel ‘sorted out’ after reading Forgiveness.
    I wish to reach where you are, someday.
    Prayers for you and your family, my friend. ❤

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    1. Ah!! Your comment brought years to my eyes 🙂 I’m so happy my journey had such a profound effect on you. And as far as reaching where I am someday…you will go much further than that my friend! I just know it!! You “see” things with your heart as well as your mind so you will reach summits much higher than you may think!! Stay blessed and thank you so much for your support ♡♡♡

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  4. Hi Lorrie dear ….you are a beautiful soul , one I am so grateful to have met …walking with you is filled with awe and admiration for your wondrous journey … and now blossoms of spring bursting forth …hugs and love to you , megxxx

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