I Don’t Have a Place For This

PicsArt_06-18-11.18.20

As I unpack and establish order, each item placed just so, I hold this in my soul and I realize I Don’t Have a Place For This.

It’s something I buried years ago, under the landscape of my soul, beneath the light of day and terrified night, hidden so well I could not recognize it.

And it bubbled to the surface, bobbing to and fro. I banished it to the unclaimed luggage area because it didn’t look like mine.  But it wouldn’t go away.

And then the pain of my entire life time…the SOURCE of all things dark and separated that stacked atop one another building the wall of the well of my imprisoned soul, sat there and refused to go away until I picked it up and held it in my hands.

I turned it over…and over.

It didn’t feel right but there was a memory.  Vague at first, but building to a crescendo of shattered thoughts flying around the corners of my psyche that told me, yes indeed, this does belong to me.

And now I have it.  Uncovered in its black truth and ugly being and I struggle with the reality and as I continue to unpack and place things just so, I realize I Don’t Have a Place For This.

Blessitude!

Lorrie ❤

6/19/17

Posted by

My healing journey on the continuum of "It's all wrong" to "It's all right!" I love art and the creative process, reading, writing, and playing tennis.

51 thoughts on “I Don’t Have a Place For This

  1. Hi Lorrie,
    I haven’t told you this yet – but I love everything about this post. It also feels like a part of a larger discovery?
    What I really love about it, except everything, (((I’m really reaching for words here))) it’s truth: the power in the declaration: “I don’t have a place for this.” There is thought and consideration, and memory, and all the beautiful complexity that comes with this realization. It also feels like it fits into a novel.
    Much Love,
    Ka

    Like

    1. Hi Ka! Thank you so much for feeling this one. And you are correct…it is a small part in a much larger story of healing! I was so happy to see you in my in box…I needed a dose of your beautiful soul, as I lift myself up by my bootstraps and insert myself back into my life.
      Your beautiful soul shines so bright and I am grateful for the love you share!
      I hope you have a most fantastic week filled with love and wonder 💜💜
      Thanks for being here☺

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Loved this.
    Going through the spring cleaning. But it’s kind of like cleaning out my refrigerator, I have to constantly windex the shelves and clean out the drawers and throw stuff away to keep it clean.
    Not a great analogy but it’s kind of where I’m at right now. Getting rid of the junk. Your words always find a way to my heart. ❤️

    Like

    1. Oh…its a perfect analogy…how about when you come across something that slipped behind the drawer and there is no possibility of identifying what it was originally!!! 😉😉
      I’m so happy to see you and hope that you are able to clean all that you need to clean and that there is just beautiful left over!! 💜

      Like

  3. Sometimes a memory comes back that we realize had been buried and it is jarring.. it sounds like this happened to you, Laurie. I am glad you are a strong woman who has ways to cope when this happens.. and I wish you all the best moving forward ❤

    Like

    1. Aw…Christy…yes…this is exactly what happened to me. The mind is an incredibly power thing and it also is full of kindness. I was so upset at first but then I realized I did not have the tools to handle it any sooner than when I did, indeed, remember. Thanks for your gentle compassion!
      I hope the light surrounds you and love is abundant!! 💜

      Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s