Tis the season to be jolly!
Each year as the calendar takes its last turn into the fall season, I feel an intrinsic sadness. Maybe because my favorite season – summer – has come to an end, but more likely because I can sense the holidays are on the horizon and that always brings on feelings of stress and anxiety.
Not everyone had a perfect childhood that made warm memories of family gatherings, gingerbread wafting through the air, and Christmas carols sung by the piano. No, my strongest memories were feeling my mother’s stress as she tried to make the holidays happen, when in her own words they, “didn’t have two nickels to rub together.”
Perhaps we had it all wrong even way back then. The commercial aspects of the holidays said there had to be a turkey and all the trimmings as families gathered in the energy of gratitude. There had to be a beautiful tree decorated with heirlooms from Christmases past – and don’t forget about the packages placed just so under the tree and the feeling you had as you searched for one with your name on it!
In my experience, more often than not, the gratitude was overshadowed by anger that would erupt in drama and physical violence. I guess The Momma wasn’t the only one who felt the stress.
The worst part about the holidays was the conflict I felt. I so wanted it to be a magical time full of good cheer, but it was hard to ignore the possibility of danger. The unpredictability of the characters in my story, made you walk on eggshells. They talked a good game and I believe deep down they wished for it to be different, but the damage was too deep.
Too often in life we are destined to repeat energy and patterns that we learned during
our informative years. But hey, who says that the “Informative years” ever end?
Why can’t we continue to learn and try each day to do just a little bit better?
I tried to make the holidays different for my son, through the years. I am not perfect, but I am certain that I succeeded on at least one level.
Now, as both my parents have passed, and distance and estrangement separate me from other members of my childhood family, I ease myself into this season aware of the pain that lingers, but willing to walk in a new story that has all the wonderful sights, smells, and loving kindness of what the season is meant to be.
For those of you who have always gotten the holiday “right,” I say, “BRAVO!” And for those less fortunate, who have had to navigate this time walking on eggshells I say, “I understand…but you have the power to change it!”
Make new traditions for the holidays that bring you JOY!
Make a pact with yourself that you CAN be happy as you make good
holiday memories with your family.
And most importantly, make a promise to yourself that the pain will stop here!
You deserve to feel the magic of the season 🙂
I send you all light and love and Sweet Blessings for the holidays! May they warm your heart. And remember…You can be happy during the holidays! <3