Maybe…Just Maybe


Now at a time of great vulnerability I can see you lying there defenseless

Just as I once did as a child

One might think that I would wish you harm, or at least exact a toll that was once paid to me

But I do not

I wish for you to be well, for you to fully recover and resume your life

A life that I wonder – has it ever been examined at all?

I won’t sit in judgment, for I have forgiven you

And I have also forgiven myself

Our souls were put together on this plane to learn and grow and I have done both

There were times that you wanted to tell me what you learned but fear gripped me so hard I could barely breathe

I wish now that I had been able to listen to you

Because when I was ready the fear jumped to you and you wouldn’t let me speak

You left me to carry the burden of my lost soul once again, with no direction from the elder

I suppose if you wake that maybe the time will be right for us to have the conversation

Or maybe it won’t

Maybe, just maybe, our souls have said all they need to say to one another

Maybe, just maybe, we have learned all that we were meant to learn

And, maybe, just maybe, words are not necessary between a father and a daughter

You lay there fighting to live and I know you can hear me…even if I don’t speak

I forgive you…I love you…get well

-Blessitude  2/26/14

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15 thoughts on “Maybe…Just Maybe

  1. Is this happening now? I feel that connection as I had unspoken words while my Dad lay in the hospital bed paralyzed on a ventilator. I talked to him and even though there was no response, I knew he heard me. I am sending you heartfelt hugs. I understand. Forgiveness if vital for you. Speak your silence if you can. All is well. xo

  2. Yes…he had a tough time with an operation. I am 1200 miles away…but there (I know you know what I mean.) I thank you so for the understanding and the hugs…and I think your words “speak your silence if you can” are so beautiful…profound really. I will try…it is possible that what is in the silence is the last step. Blessitude to you

  3. How beautiful and vulnerable Lorrie! It sounds like you are going through a tough time, and I am sending you all my love to help you stay strong! This piece is full of forgiveness and selfless love and I really admire it 🙂 You are a beautiful soul Lorrie!

    1. Thank you dear Line. I feel so blessed by your words and I am so grateful that we have connected. You write so beautifully, and your encouraging spirit shines through across the many miles that separate us. I can feel your positive energy and I wish you every good thing in life. Thank you dear friend 🙂

    1. A simple thanks is hardly enough to convey what your words mean to me. So beautiful…I just want you to know you have touched me deeply. And I do realize that my writing has facilitated my healing…and that it is a gift from God. I can honestly tell you that I remember the exact moment I felt compelled to write again (after a sabbatical of 37 years!) I knew in that moment that writing would heal me! Thank you for your loving support Di. 🙂

      1. It seems kind of redundant coming back here to read your comment as Keri but I was signed in under “her blog” and so I have to say that, THAT part of me is so touched by your words. It is as if you can pull things out of your heart and make us connect with the place in ours that understands exactly where it came from….. Even if our stories might not be exactly the same… the pain and joy and place in our heart that connects with each other just can’t be faked. And that my dear Lorrie takes special talent that we don’t all possess. Someday, I covet your reviews when I finally finish my book. And I will. Watch me! 😉
        But in the meantime you bless me with EVERYthing you write!!!!!

      2. Lorrie I also had to add… 37 years?! Of silencing those beautiful words you had inside you all this time? No wonder we can connect on both levels. Where we both left our young selves waiting to be found again and also with some wisdom of living life. Oh if only I could have understood then what I do now.
        I read this initially on my phone where I am signed in under me and then came on to do something quick on my computer where I was working on keri’sjournal and just wanted to add something. So sorry for the reply under both of my blogs!
        di 😉

  4. Di, don’t ever worry about posting from either site. I understand who you are…have from the first moment I read you! Both of you…hehe. “we both left our young selves waiting to be found again”…yes…yes….that is what I believe we both did. And while I have had moments of sadness for the years in between that I did not write, I am comforted with the knowledge that everything happens exactly the way it is supposed to! And who knows, maybe what I have to say would not have come out the same way without those life experiences…In fact I am sure they would not. I believe in you…I am so happy to see you are “on fire” with your writing…and I know you will finish your book!! Blessitude!!!!!!!!

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