My heart was touched in a way that it never had been before
It felt sacred
The grounds told stories of souls who had gone before
There were many
It was not sadness
But tears fell down my face
First in a trickle
And then floodgates let loose the river that was cried
Near the river that carved the great canyon
The emotion was unlike any I had ever had before
Or have had since
Mere words can not describe the billowing raw emotion
that shook my heart
It was like my whole
Knew every other soul
In an instant
I knew their stories
I knew their hearts
I knew THEM
I accepted their love with open arms
And crying eyes
I was accepted the same
Because in an instant
all the same
I just came across a journal that I had written this experience in. I was traveling cross country by car to attend a national tennis tournament in Palm Springs. The drive was one of the most beautiful experiences of my life. We went through all the national parks and on this particular day we visited the north rim of the Grand Canyon.
On the ride from the north rim on 89A around the east side of the canyon, something so emotional happened to me. All of a sudden I felt this energy. It surrounded me. It felt like it came up from the deep recesses of the earth and it would not be denied. It welled up in my chest and expanded out through every cell in my body. Then it made its way to my eyes. Tears started to fall and I did not know what was wrong with me.
Now I know nothing was wrong…everything was right!!! I was at first embarrassed thinking my passenger would think I was crazy. But then I knew that it would have been a monumental mistake to try to hold back what I was feeling. I started crying…sobbing really. My girlfriend was shocked and asked what was wrong. I told her nothing was wrong but could not elaborate what was happening to me. She usually would be one to laugh off something that made her feel uncomfortable, but that day she just sat quietly and let me cry.
When it was over I tried to articulate what had happened to me. I didn’t, couldn’t, come up with the words that could give the proper meaning to what I had experienced. When I saw the journal entry yesterday the above poem was written. I think now, some eleven years after the experience (which was way before my healing and transformation) I have a better understanding of what it was.
Yet, I’m still rather sure that I don’t have the proper words for it.