I Fell Off the Wagon ~ of Love!

317

Wrap me in your love

I’m in need of comfort

Every time I’m left to my own devices

I fall off the wagon

Not the wagon of booze

But the wagon of love!

*

Wrap me in your love

For I’ve become a little lost

Pain is back and it hurts

And I wonder does it hurt

Because I don’t think I deserve better

Or does it hurt because

The physical pain is what I’ve always known

Because the physical pain becomes a crutch

To the things that I don’t want to feel in my heart

*

Wrap me in your love

For I know you only want what’sΒ good for me

I’m your child

I have a child and I watch him go through life

And I only want what’s best for him

Sometimes I watch what he is doing and I want to make him stop

So I wonder

Is that what you do

You only want what’s best for me

Yet you have to watch what I’m doing

And you just want to make me stop

But free will takes precedence

*

Wrap me in your love

For I can see the decisions I make

The ones I am conscious of

And the ones that I have no awareness of

Are the things that keep me wrapped in this pain

It’s been a life time

It’s been a way of life

But I’ve worked so hard

I thought the pain was over

*

But then I hear you speak

From words that come out of my own mouth

And those of my beautiful sister

And I understand once again

That if I change my thoughts

I change my life

I change the pain to love

I jump back on the wagon

The wagon of love

Yes

So wrap me in your love

After I wrap myself in mine

For it all comes from the same place

320

 

Blessitude

Lorrie

8/4/14

54 thoughts on “I Fell Off the Wagon ~ of Love!

  1. Ahhh Lorrie. I fell of the wagon on the weekend too. I let go of love and loving and being loved and spiralled into that dark space that would have me believe, fear is the only thing to cling to.

    Thank you for this poem. It is a refreshing reminder to begin again. To step into my day breathing into the only essence I need to create beauty in the world all around me — Love.

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    1. Oh Louise…I was writing to you at the same exact time!!! I love when that happens! πŸ™‚ I think I am always surprised when I fall….or let “fear” get the better of me. It feels so magnificent to be in that state of perfect love…I always wonder why I would choose to leave it? But I do….and then I come back to love…and I have to believe that it is stronger than before. I have to believe that I am to learn something from the falling. So much love I send to you….may it spill over into every cell of your being. I understand the pain….but I also understand the light!! ❀

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    1. Hi Kim…I wish it was as spontaneous as you think…but no…I beat myself up a bit before I got back on the love wagon!! But I do think with more and more awareness. ..maybe the time on the ground gets less and less!! πŸ™‚ Thank you …I appreciate your support! ! ❀ ❀

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  2. It’s true–sometimes everything can feel terrible, overwhelming, uncertain–for no apparent reason. Wonderful to use those times to dig into yourself by writing, and to reach out by writing.

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    1. Yes…it is so true! I think for me it starts with other people’s pain …I mistake it for mine…then it sparks something deep inside and I am shown where I need to do more probing! Thank you for your very insightful words ❀

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  3. A touching tribute to the waves of life Lorrie. I’m glad you got back on the wagon of love. We all fall off, but with kindness, compassion and support from friends, we can hop back on easier. πŸ™‚
    An idea from Matt Kahn came to mind. Maybe the fear and pain are simply old energies coming up and out of our system. Being cleared and released to make room for the new.
    To love, and friends with wagons to share the ride! πŸ™‚

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    1. Thank You Brad!! You are so kind to me…and it is with this kindness that I learn to extend kindness to myself! <3. I completely agree with you…it seems to make so much sense that when we take out old negative things it makes so much more room for the positivity …and Love!!! So we can "hitch our wagons" and together we are stronger and we truly can move mountains!!! Much love dear friend!!

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  4. You moved me again….well written…I could feel the pain and the love. I know you know this, but sharing your pain and triumphs is helping more people and touching more people then you can imagine. You are doing His work in a wonderful way!

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    1. Wow! Kirt!! Such beautiful, wonderful praise! I am so grateful for your words, they speak directly to my heart. I never really thought of it that way…but I am honored, and I like it πŸ™‚ Thank you for opening my eyes to something so wonderful!! ❀

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  5. Thank you for sharing your grace in this low of life Lorrie.
    The red shiny wagon of love is full of friends, gratitude, understanding, support, hugs, soul connections and loving Presence. May it lighten your load so you find relief.
    And from this place of love, give yourself pause to look inwards. This is where the answer lies.
    Hugs
    Val xo

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    1. Oh Val! First, I am so happy to share…especially if it can help any body who feels they lost their way a little bit. And…in return I receive such beautiful gifts from you and others….such loving souls who do provide comfort and support! I couldn’t be more grateful for both the giving and the receiving. I also think you are wise to tell me to pause and look inward…for that is where the answers are for all of us! ❀ Much love!

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  6. We’ve gotten back on the wagon at the same time … I went tumbling off of it a few weeks ago — crawled my way back up onto it last week. Let’s tie ourselves to the side rails – these trips are exhausting!

    This was lovely Lorrie. I especially like how you described your relationship with your son – as your relationship with “the source” – or whatever it is any one of us feel it is or call it. Just beautiful. ❀ Kimberly

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    1. Hooray for getting back up Kimberly!! I agree it is exhausting. ..but I also feel I go deeper into my healing each time. Thanks so much for commenting. And yes…I really had this break through about “source” being a parent and watching us make our mistakes and wishing for us to make better use of the love he gave us!!!! ❀

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  7. Thank you Lorrie for this post and thank you to all of your readers for their beautiful comments. I’ve been under the weather lately and as a result fell off the love wagon. Reading your post and all the inspiring comments by your readers have lifted my spirits. Thank you to all. Lorlinda

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    1. Oh… Lorlinda. ..I’m so sorry to hear that you are under the weather 😦 But, that being said, it makes me happy to know that we, as a group, got our energies together and gave you a bit of a lift!! πŸ™‚ What a wonderful experience. ..I am so happy you told us and I hope that it has lasting effects for you! Much love and many blessings to you! ❀

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  8. I am right here lifting you back on πŸ™‚ And this time I will ask the horses not to run so fast so that you will not fall off again πŸ™‚ It might have just been a snake or something scaring them little, and most snakes are quite harmless πŸ™‚ Don’t feel sad about falling off Laurie, just brush off your knees, catch my hand, and step right back up πŸ™‚ You know, it is good to find out why we fall down, like, if it was a snake on the road, then you can just think that it is okay, we are by instinct made to fear snakes, because they can hurt us, and once you know that, you will feel better, and it will be much easier to keep going with a loving smile πŸ™‚ ❀ ❀ ❀

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    1. Hi dear Trini! You are so sweet…and I will take your hand and jump back up. Slowing the horses a little will also help πŸ™‚ I think I understand what happened…and I am very grateful for the understanding. The next step is to be aware of similar situations in the future so that I have the understanding “BEFORE” I fall!! It is all a process and I believe it is how we learn. I have always thought that to experience one emotion we have to experience it’s opposite…or how else would we REALLY know what the first one was. So I am much better now….and I thank you for your caring support and kindness!! You are very special to me dear soulsister!! ❀ ❀

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  9. Oh I fall off that wagon a lot myself. When the Lord starts digging deep in my soul trying to bring up the deep the physical pain and fatigue are aften so hard to bear! But then the dawn comes and my garden displays His glory and I get back up on the wagon again. Blessings to you, sweet Lorrie, I hope you are better and the ride on the wagon is a little less bumpy! Hugs and love, N πŸ™‚

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    1. GIANT smile on my face….Thank You dear Natalie!!! Your words are very comforting πŸ™‚ I am doing much better…and now have more things to work on!! Many blessings to you ❀

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  10. You have such a big heart Lorrie!!..I see you in the light and just know all is perfect on our journey..sounds like some FEAR LET GO OF YOU which is always good! Heart to Heart Robyn…watching from above we see clearly much love

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  11. We all have these kind of days in life. We are loved so much by our Lord, and we try to be pleasing to Him. But Satan is always there to try to undo our efforts. However, God is faithful to forgive us when we fall. We who abide in Him have blessings beyond blessings!

    So, when we sin, (and we will), pray to God for forgiveness and strength. We have a continual cleansing for our trespasses in the blood of Christ! Go and try to do better next time temptation knocks at our door.

    The True Light

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