Powerful Understanding

2015-01-30 18.27.30

And sometimes

understanding comes in an instant

a flash of light upon the heart

that opens every cell

to the remembrance of love

I am in the middle of a very disturbing event in my life.  It has resurrected every insecurity I have ever felt.  I am being terrorized by a BULLY…someone I am related to.  He is a frightening personality and I am in a position where I have to stand up to him in order to protect someone I promised to take care of.

I tried to ignore him at first…but the fear of what he was up to was more than I could handle so I spoke to him.  The visceral reaction from his threats and ranting and raving rocks the very foundation of my soul!

My Lyme’s disease is an opportunistic invader…I can feel the spirochetes jumping for joy that my defenses are down.  They are having a party inside with swords and knives.

And in a moment I realized that staying away from my beautiful friends and their incredible support was exactly what the bully wanted…needed in fact!

I felt all the old patterns of abuse…the soul and the body remember.  I realized that allowing him to beat me down with his verbal insults and the sheer terror of his antics pushed me further away from the power of love and left me in the bowels of fear.

And, mistakenly, I thought I couldn’t bring that energy here to my blog.  No, I reacted the same way I always did growing up in my family.  Pretend.  Pretend everything is fine.  And, if I can’t pretend (because that is very hard for me) then withdraw.  Don’t let anyone see the pain.

Is it embarrassment?  I don’t know.  Is it I think I deserve to be abused? I don’t know.  Maybe the child who cowered in fear learned that…but the woman who has worked so hard to climb out of the dungeons does not!  No…I believe in the power of love and I know where there is love there can not be fear.

So here I am my friends.  Yes…a bully is trying to steal my power.  I pray for him (I always have.)  And I pray for myself to stay in love surrounded by my friends who offer such incredible support…Thank you all!!!  I am Blessitude!!

Lorrie ❤

2/1/15

102 thoughts on “Powerful Understanding

  1. Lorrie, I awoke this morning thinking about bullies. There are so many kinds. Some target individuals, some entire peoples or nations. They tend to run amok when given half a chance, as we see now in so many countries, Western and non. Once they get power, they are very difficult to stop. Best to tell friends.

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    1. Oh, Michael. Yes! It is disturbing how quickly I sank to the old energies. Thank you for your support…your words are so true. If we can stay in love and keep the energy growing by multiplying in numbers….oh! If only!!! ❤

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  2. NO ONE can steal your power Lorrie, because it is LOVE – remember the “bully” as you call him will be punished because darkness attracts darkness as light attracts light… you are your own strength. You said you are “blessitude”… and Blessitude is invicible, yes you are invicible! Take much care & stay brave my dearest friend! ♥♥

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    1. Tears…dearest! Yes…thank you!! I have gained so much understanding during this trial. I must still face the bully…but I do so with love in my heart…and in my soul. I keep my strength in love…and I can’t thank you enough for all of your support. I could not have been as strong without your loving support! ❤ ❤

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  3. Yayy for you that you recognized old patterns and were able to change course!! That is not easy .. So empowering! Dealing with bullies is probably way easier than accepting healing changes within ourselves…You got this<3

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    1. Wow!!! Cynthia…thank you! More powerful insights you shine a light on here. Yes, very astute that you mention “healing changes” as this has given me a very powerful insight to my healing!! I am so blessed and full of gratitude! Blessitude! ❤

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  4. We all feel sad, we all get scared, we can feel love and be scared at the same time, like we can be happy and sad at the same time too. It is okay. I think by sharing our emotions and being honest a little bit for the fear goes away ❤ 🙂 Some times when we try to be perfectly spiritual, we tend to forget that we are also human with all the emotions. I mean even Jesus got scared and sad, cause he was human as well as divine. Just let yourself feel everything, that is what will give you strength, to be afraid, but being brave at the same time 🙂 I am here for you cheering you on. I am proud of you! Big hugs!! ❤

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    1. My dear soul sister!!! You know that I would not have had the insights I have gained were it not for your beautiful support!! Thank you sweet Angel! Yes…it is really important to FEEL. I will not lie and say that there is absolutely no fear…but I understand that if I do the same old things I will get the same old results. Hiding what is happening is not the answer. At first I thought I had to be aggressive and stand up to him with the same kind of tactics….but that is not the answer either…as it truly is not ME! What I need to do is to stand strong…but to come from love…just come from love. And believe that it will all work out….I so believe that it will work out…my faith is HUGE!!!!! Much love to you my friend…I thank you with love from my soul!! ❤

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  5. My dear, you are stronger than you think. You are taking back your ground right now through reaching out. Draw strength from your friends here, and know that there are so many sending you love, prayers, and all their positive energy your way. Once your perceptions of this “bully’s” so called power changes, see them shrinking in size, power, and authority. It might take no more than a whisper from you to topple their facade. You don’t have to lose your strength because they are making a show of theirs. And you don’t have to be something outside your own sweet character to change how you interact with them. Hugs and prayers to you.

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    1. Oh, Wendy…Thank you so much!! I love your words…the love and strength you send 🙂 I picture him shrinking in size as we speak…and I like it. And what you said…I don’t have to lose my strength…OR change my character to deal with him is such sage advice!! I am so grateful…so very full of love…Thank you!! ❤

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  6. Oh Lorrie, it is sad that a bully feels the need to bully. Yet, in the love you share so generously, there is no room for the darkness of bullying — no matter how hard he might try to encroach upon your blesstitude, your light and love will always be greater. That is the way of the universe.

    Thank you for sharing here what is happening there. It is such a wonderful gift to give those who love you the opportunity to stand with you in the light. Blesstitude my friend.

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    1. Thank you so much Louise ❤ I never thought about asking for help could be viewed as a gift for the people who would help you. Where I come from asking for help was a weakness and strictly forbade…and it is true that is how bullies hold their power.

      Old habits die hard…I feel so strong and powerful right now as I am on my way to the place where the bully may show up. I pray I will stay strong in the power of love and not Crack under the fear!

      Thank you my dear friend. We are strong! ❤

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  7. Thanks for your openness, vulnerability and courage Lorrie. I felt truth tingles coursing through my body reading this post. You are alive and real. Thanks!!!! I’ve missed you and your loving spirit. I’m sorry for your challenge, yet know you will rise, stronger, wiser and more loving. blessings my dear friend.
    sending lots of love and hugs. 🙂 ❤

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    1. Hi Brad…Thank you dear friend <3. I have missed you too…and it hurts that I went to old energy…and to continuing to punish myself by taking away my dear friends like you!! It also hurts that as far as I have come in the healing process, I can still be unaware of some things. But I am fully grateful for the understanding I have received…and I am so grateful for you!! Thank you dear friend ❤

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    1. Thanks, Kim! I have also been amused that “opportunistic invader” could also describe my bully!!! And there is some major work to be done there!!!

      Thank you for empowering me with your beautiful support! I am so grateful!! And yes…I am Blessitude!!! Thank you for reminding me ❤ ❤

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  8. Nobody should be bullied by anyone! Unfortunately, you can not only hope or have faith that it all go away, because it doesn’t work that way. If anyone threatens you, my advise is: Go to the proper Authorities and tell them about it and let them protect you from the bully. Talk to an Attorney and see the way to keep that bully away from you and yours. Nobody in the world should live in fear. Period!

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    1. Thank you so much for your honest feelings and support. I agree with you…and I have measures in place with the authorities. I honestly pray it doesn’t come down to that…but I am willing to go there if need be! Your words are so true…No one should have to live in fear…no one!! ❤

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  9. “…research tells us that we judge people in areas where we’re vulnerable to shame, especially picking folks who are doing worse than we’re doing. If I feel good about my parenting, I have no interest in judging other people’s choices. If I feel good about my body, I don’t go around making fun of other people’s weight or appearance. We’re hard on each other because we’re using each other as a launching pad out of our own perceived shaming deficiency.”

    ― Brené Brown, Daring Greatly: How the Courage to Be Vulnerable Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent, and Lead

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    1. Wow…Hariod!! If I understand correctly where you are going with this…you have hit the nail on the head!!

      My bully is full of shame…and guilt. He has even gone so far as to accuse me of being guilty….something in this particular case could not be further from the truth. I believe I can understand his motivations…but he can’t possibly…and if you try to shine a light on it he strikes you harder!

      I have prayed for his soul for as long as I can remember being alive…I will continue….and I will also pray for myself and my charge. Much love to you dear Hariod…I’ve missed you ❤ ❤

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    1. I love to hear “you can do this!” Thank you so much 🙂 And to be myself is awesome advice…it didn’t feel good to lower myself to his energy, that’s for sure! Hope you will have a beautiful week! ❤

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  10. Thank you for being brave enough to share that. It was what I needed to read today. I have a life filled with bullies and tend to retreat into solitude to avoid them, The real power lies in confronting them but I am a non-confrontational person. I can feel the cortisol rushing through my body when I’m being bullied and it does cause health challenges. I have not been brave enough to write openly about it. That may have to change. Thank you again.

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    1. I am crying for you right now!! Yes…the cortisol…I know exactly what you speak of. I blocked his phone number but it still shows up. The other day when I saw that he called my heart started beating so fast…I got dizzy! My stomach was doing that flip thing like when you are on a roller coaster…and I just knew that ignoring him was not the way to go. But confronting him wasn’t either 😦

      What I realized is that bullies don’t want you to have a support network…because they want you alone and vulnerable. I adhered to this practice…out of embarrassment…a misplaced thought that maybe I deserved to be abused…I don’t know. But what I learned today is that my heart couldn’t feel more love from the wonderful responses I have received here. I have learned that there are many good people…loving and kind and supportive people here. I know I will have to deal with him again…he will not give up so easily. But I will face him with love in my heart and kindness in my actions. If he chooses to pitch something else…I won’t be catching!!!! My wish for you is that you find your way to deal with your bullies. And I can tell you that I feel a world of difference from sharing this here. I will say many, many prayers for you!! Much love ❤

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  11. My heart goes out to you….no one should be bullied! You have an inner strength that comes through your posts….it is there! Your faith and the power of prayer will…I repeat will bring your inner strength to the surface! I perked up on your prayers for the aggressor….hard to do, but again shows the strength and faith you have! Bless you for sharing!!

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    1. Oh, Kirt…Thank you so much! I love that you said my faith and power of prayer will bring my inner strength to the surface…because I know that is exactly what is happening!! That and the support of my beautiful friends here…yourself included 🙂 I so appreciate your kind words and I thank you because you really make me feel better!! ❤

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  12. My prayers are with you Lorrie. One must stand up to bullies. Nobody has a right to invade your space, your life or make you uncomfortable. As someone previously stated I would go to the proper authorities. About three years ago I had it out with some family members however being that certain family members are violent World War III almost erupted in my apartment but I threw them all out moved and have not spoken to them since. I guess being raised and currently living in the Urban portion of New York plus serving four years in the Army taught me to fight back when possible. Violence against women is on the rise. I had a very large male co-worker pin me up against the wall at work two years ago. Now this guy is over 6 feet tall and weighs a good 250 lbs. I’m about 5 feet tall maybe weighing 120 or 125 lbs. He was screaming in my face and none of my co-workers came to my rescue. Instead of being afraid I became angry. I mean really angry. Something rose up in me that he became afraid. The tables were turned. I won’t go into what I said because most of it is not for a family page such as yours but I got him off me. Yes I reported him but as you know men superiors do not take violence against women seriously so he is still at my job. But I have no fear. The guy is psycho. What I’ve learned as a women in this society is that you have to be prepared to defend yourself physically otherwise you might not live.

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    1. Oh, DeBorah! I am so sorry that you had that experience! I, unfortunately, know what it is like to be physically harmed by a man…by several in fact. It is not a fun thing and it is not okay! I am certain that your self preservation instincts went into overdrive during that incident because you felt real harm was going to come to you. And I bet that feeling that came from you also scared you a little…but it probably not only saved you then but continues to protect you from that man!

      As for your family…I am sorry that you had to cut them out of your life…yet I am proud of you that you did. I need to come to that understanding…I don’t know why I always make excuses and worse than that always think it will be different next time! This episode, though probably not over, feels like the “last straw” to me. I learned a while ago that it is okay to cut people out of your life if they are bad for you…the “people” just were never “family” before. There are some who are really good at sucking you back in…but I recognize my co-dependent relationship with them and I know that I am worth more than that!

      Thank you so much for sharing your life with me and for offering me encouragement ❤ I will keep you in my prayers that you be surrounded by love and kindness!!

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  13. Always be your true beautiful, authentic-self Lorrie, authenticity is the essence of power! Relax and let go of your need to control this situation. There is nothing easy about having our power taken but once we decide they cannot unless we allow it, then we can stand tall without fear. I hope you journey with this situation lightens and strengthens you to learn more about your power within! 🙂

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    1. I love your response, Karen!! You are so correct…”authenticity is the essence of power!” Oh how I love this statement. I regained my power when I realized that I was not living an authentic life…that I wasn’t honoring my soul. Some people are very threatened when someone takes their power back. I understand completely what you are saying and I want you to know that you have helped me so much!!! Thank you…I appreciate you ❤

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  14. I admire that you are praying for the bully, because underneath the bullying is pain. That does not make it okay though. Bullying is not acceptable. I feel so proud of you for being brave in spite of the fear. You are growing stronger and smarter. Love yourself too. Love yourself well as your body’s defenses fight off those whatchamacallits. You are stronger! I ask that angels come to comfort you and protect you as you take good care of yourself. You are awesome!

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    1. Thank you JoAnne!! I really appreciate your support…and I know that you are correct to remind me to take good care of myself! We made it through the whole weekend without a peep. I pray that is the end of his big “push” …we will see.

      And you are also correct that under his bullying is pain…and hurt people hurt. But there has to come a time when you deal with that pain and heal. Healing is hard work …it is way easier to fall back into old unaware habits. I am grateful for my healing and all the lessons I learn…and so very grateful for your loving support! Thank you ❤ ❤

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  15. Thank you for sharing your vulnerability here Lorrie. It is such a gift for all of us, including you!!! I continue to learn so much from you and I hope you are staying in your heart and rising up into your power. HUGS – Lisa

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    1. Thank you Lisa…yes!! I am past the visceral pain and fear enough to remember that my love protects me from all fear…where there is love…

      And it has been a gift for me, Lisa…you are so right. The fact that you tell me it is a gift for you also…warms my heart! I am so appreciative for the love and support of my beautiful WP family 🙂 Much love to you ❤

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  16. Sweet Lorrie I am so proud of you. Keep blogging and facing those fears and don’t let that bully dictate what your life will be like… I know you are going to be the victor. You are not only helping yourself by blogging but others also…me as one for sure. You help to keep me strong and encourage me with your words. Keeping you in my thoughts and prayers and sending you lots of warm, gentle hugs and love.

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    1. Hi Maggie…Thank you so much for everything <3. Your grace is so beautiful as you walk the path that stands before you. You give me strength with your heartfelt support and I am so grateful that we have met!!

      You will never know how important you were in my decision to share what is going on in my life instead of continuing the old victim behaviors of hiding and pretending. I couldn't be more grateful ❤ ❤

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  17. Dear Lady Lorrie, fear is a human feeling, so quite normal and logical… Pretending everything is fine means first of all lying to yourself… bullies are cowards and manipulators who always choose their “victims” among nice – often fragile and emotionally sensitive whom they can easily control… they both enter inside a vicious circle and they establish an “executioner-victim” relationship… PLEASE get out of this nightmare and calvary, stay away from toxic specimens, ’cause it’s YOUR OWN LIFE, YOU choose and YOU decide, nobody else… even God will NEVER do anything in (y)our place! I do believe you’ll make it and you can be “Invictus” (Latin for “unconquered” or “invincible”): 🙂 ❤
    "It matters not how strait the gate,
    How charged with punishments the scroll,
    I am the master of my fate:
    I am the captain of my soul…"(William Ernest Henley)
    * * *
    P.S. we travel about twice – 3 times/year and before this weekend we'll be very far from France… btw, our choice and our mutual decision… 😉

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    1. Thank you so much Me’lanie for your wonderful insights and spot on advice. I do realize it is up to me to keep it…or toss it. I think there is still a piece of me that gives him a break for there truly are very terrible things that have made him this way…. I would have thought that he would be able to move beyond his own pain…but alas, he has not.

      I will continue to pray for him…and I will make sure I honor my authentic self…because as you said pretending is lying to myself!! Thank you so much for you always are there for me…and I recognize it my friend!!

      Wherever you are headed to I am certain it will be a great adventure 🙂 Safe travels dear Me’lanie ❤

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  18. Dearest Lorrie, I too have a very similar situation in my Life. I do not bring those experiences to Petals, for that is not what Petals is all about. There were many days, as years went by and the bullying continued, that I asked over and over again, “Why is this happening? How can it be possible I am attracting this to myself?” Over those years, I learned to stand up to this bully, saying NO, I will not accept this behavior. I’ve been grabbed, verbally torn apart to shreds, thrown, threatened, yet I maintained steady eye contact, and a firmness, no, you will not hurt me, I will not allow you to hurt me. I took nothing personally, and turned all the violence and bullying into that of Love. Not easy to do when there are emotions that are very easily triggered. I insisted, determined I will NOT have this pattern in my Life that I only knew as a child. I will not allow abuse in my Life and over and over and over again, I stood firm against this energy. By doing so, I became extremely strong within myself. And the bullying has decreased. The person with the “anger problem” is beginning to see those areas within that need healing. When the spurts of bullying begin, they are not as violent, and the ears that once were absolutely closed, are now open to Love. We carry deep within our psyche patterns that we really had no control over, Lorrie, that we brought with us into adulthood from our childhood. We were blind to these patterns. When they begin to appear in our lives, those who are AWAKE recognize them, and begin to transmute them into Love. Not an easy passage, by a long shot. But I can tell you without any doubt, that by standing firm, and walking out Tough Love, the person who is doing the bullying has nothing to latch onto in me, and so the fire dies. These are the exact situations that can produce the Master within us. I have a post coming that says something like … it is the uglies in Life that produce the friction needed to polish the Inner Pearl even more to a Lustrous Brilliant Shine. (((HUGS))) Amy

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    1. Oh, Amy! First of all…I can’t thank you enough for taking your time while you are going through such struggles, to offer me support, love and guidance! You are an amazing soul and I am so very grateful that we have connected here! ❤

      I am so sorry that you also had to deal with a bully…and it sounds like there were some difficulties growing up as well. And you are so correct…we bring these energies and patterns into adulthood and it is up to us to end the vicious cycle. And I will continue to pray for all involved. And I will only act with kindness and love in my heart.

      I know that the answer lies inside me…for I have a way better chance of changing…because I already have.

      Much love to you my dear dear friend. You are on my mind and in my prayers during your times now of much emotion. Thank you, Amy! ❤

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      1. Thank you for your prayers and Love. Working my way to Acceptance of my Dad’s passing, is one that at times, I don’t know if I can do. Hubby was an “angel” over the weekend dragging me out of the house when I did not want to go, for a photo shoot. He shot me as I set up my equipment and while I was shooting. I plan on putting these images up on Petals this week along with those I took while hubby shot me. You will see me with THE LOOK on my face. LOL You know the one that says OK!! ENOUGH!! Hhehehehehe Yep. Love you, Lorrie. (((HUGS))) Amy

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  19. When my father was giving me a particularly hard time, I always remember a friend saying: “You need to stand up to bullies, it takes away their power.” Hard to do, but over time it worked for me (plus my husband gave me tremendous support and understanding).

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    1. Hi Mo! Thanks so much for your words of support! I’m sorry to hear that you had to defend yourself against your own bully. Geez…I think there are many bullies out there!! But I am happy you were successful. Here’s to standing up to the bullies!! May their reign be very short.

      I feel good right now because there is some distance between the last eruption. I will get stronger and stronger…and watch his power get dimmer. Thank you so much ❤

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  20. Lorrie, The love and support here for you is so heart warming … We are all here for you. I hope you feel the warmth and love too 🙂 Keep connecting to the love and understanding, while acknowledging the fear.
    As you say, stay connected with your loving support rather than isolating yourself and trying to be strong. Know that you are stronger now and can face this.
    Hugs
    Val xo

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    1. Hi Val! Thank you so much!! I do believe I am stronger…thanks for giving me that confirmation. I have also learned some really deep understanding about a few other issues relating to myself. I am so grateful .

      Yes…I am amazed by the wonderfully kind spirits here…you have all helped me so much…and I have learned not to hide! 🙂 Much love to you, Val…I hope all is super great in your world!! ❤

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  21. Oh, Lorrie, I am so sorry to hear this. Please don’t try to keep this in! Your friends here want to be supportive in any way we can, and any that don’t are friends anyway. The enemy is coming at you and definitely wanting to bring you back down into believing you deserve this. He fights hard to keeps us especially after have such stronghold against us for so long. Never give into this bully and if you have to because he becomes a threat to you and your well being, go to the police and have a peace bond placed on him so that he can’t contact you or come near you for any reason. You are strong enough to make it through this and rise up higher in the doing so. Please let me know if there is anyway I can help. I will be keeping you lifted up in prayer. Hugs, hugs, and more hugs, Natalie 🙂

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    1. Hi dear Natalie 🙂 Thank you so much for your loving support. It is a very sad thing, especially because of the other person I am trying to protect. I keep praying for guidance…for him…for all involved. It is amazing how some people believe ONLY what they believe and won’t even listen to another opinion. And I also find it incredible that some people think it is their responsibility to make someone else’s decisions!!

      Thank you my friend! I am moving through this event with love in my heart and I know we will all be fine. My faith is HUGE!! Much love ❤

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  22. You will be able shield yourself, Lorrie, by your faith, love and light, from the power of the bully. It will not reach you. While you grow in strength, his power will diminish, and you will be protected. Sending prayers, love and hugs, Tiny

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    1. 🙂 huge smile!! Thank you, Tiny…I am truly blessed and I feel so full of love. When the fear tries to enter I turn up the love! And I use visual images of what you said…my strength growing and his power diminishing. I hope all is great in your world ❤

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  23. Hello my dear Lorrie I was also in my first marriage subject to anger and rage, I transcended it by talking about it and breaking the chain for my step girls and for myself! I will always remember when I truly completely “woke up” and knew that no one could take my loving power away! We are love..as your essence shines through, way more powerful than darkness and fear.Love prevails!!! Heart to heart Robyn

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    1. Thank you my dear friend!! Your words speak to my heart and I know I feel the love in everyone who sends support through this forum! There is only one answer and that is love…I know this is true. I am so grateful for your love dear Heart to Heart Robyn…your soul shines so brightly. Much love…many thanks!! ❤ ❤

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  24. So sad that someone is being mean to you. I think you can see though by all the wonderful and supportive comments that you are not alone. That so many folks care about you is testament of your value as a human being.
    I’ve had a few times when I’ve had to face down verbally and even physically abusive people for the sake of others. Though I was strong at the time (there was no other choice) I still remember how weak and shaky I felt afterwards. I recall after the worst time my son just holding me in his arms for a long, long time, I was so shaken, but I soon recovered and I learnt something. That at such times a strength and courage beyond myself would fill me and give me grace.
    I applaud your courage and your honesty. You’ve won a great battle by standing firm and will be even stronger because of it. As for this bully, as was already brought out, the laws of retribution will carry their own penalties. Malice begets malice, just as love begets love. You are God’s child let someone hurt you at their peril, not yours! I’ll pray for your strength and fast recovery from the physical after effects.

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    1. Hi Claire. Your comment made me feel a little sad…and a lot happy too!! I hate that my post brought up memories of difficult times for you and others. But, I am so happy and so grateful to feel the love and support as well. You are so right…we learn from this kind of event (I am still processing it all) and we absolutely get stronger!! I thank you so much for your beautiful spirit and kindness to me…I can really FEEL your love!! This is the beautiful energy I want to live in…I want to connect with. I think we all gain strength in our soul by sharing it! Hope you have a super wonderful day…much love to you! ❤

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  25. Lorrie, I am sorry you have to go through this difficult ordeal…but the fact that you have the courage to talk about it… shows the inner strength you possess that no bully can falter …and yes you have your friends who love you…these dark emotions of fear sometimes occupies too much of the mind, but I know that the love you have in your heart will push that away like the sun…Stay strong and stand up for what you know is right …You are in my thoughts…take good care of yourself my friend…much love always ❤ ❤

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    1. Thank you, Neha!! What a beautiful thing to say, “the love in your heart will push away the fear like the sun!” Your words go directly to my heart and I want you to know that they make me stronger!!! Thank you so much. I also believe, like you, that we must stand up for what we know is right! Things have calmed down, for now. I continue to pray for us all…there is a lot of pain that needs to be healed. Much love to you Neha…I am so grateful for our friendship!! 🙂 ❤

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  26. Dear Lorrie
    A souls energy can convey so much…to say that your pray for the person shows your inner strength to blossom with love despite being burdened by a strong character….You are truly a gem 🙂
    Hang in there, my prayers are with you!
    With much love
    Zara

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    1. Hi Zara!! Thank you so much my friend 🙂 You are so kind to give me this comfort and I have missed you! I also pray every day that love will always be the energy I turn to…I am by no means perfect…and even in this case I went to very negative energy first before I was able to turn it around. But I know this is a process and thankfully I don’t hold myself to the standard of perfection like I used to in everything. I hope your world is full of love and laughter! ❤

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  27. I’m so sorry to hear you were in trouble, I was not checking out my reader since I had huge amounts of medical work to do. I think being comfortable with saying truth and being strong enough to take truth is very important. You have so much light in you and you are treating well people who possibly don’t deserve that. It is great to say looking in somebody’s eye all the things you want to without being scared.
    The reality is that we cannot change every person and make them better, some of them will disappoint and hurt us. The worst is intentional and targeted hurting, especially if they are aware of your fragile and weak points. It can be caused by their anger, hate, jealousy, envy, realization that they are less successful or in a worst situation. Most often such people terrorize and bully others because they are weaker, in fact, than you are, but in order to hide their insignificance they have to attack somebody who they want to see hurt or humiliated. That’s their reward and revenge to see other people scared and in tears or screaming back things which they otherwise wouldn’t. As a rule, they are not strong and would bend immediately when somebody who at least looks stronger threatens them. It takes a great courage to withstand such attacks, but it is possible. Secondly, good, happy and successful people never do that. That is how people who are unable to achieve greatness in their own life will try to prove themselves that they are better than you. In reality, they are mean, shallow and small. By humiliating, attacking physically or mentally they achieve satisfaction, that’s their daily food. Legal way is one possibility, but more important is feeling safe. You should avoid any contacts if possible because it’s waste of your time to convince them that they are wrong. Second possibility is to tell everything and sort out when there are lots of people around, like at some meeting, etc. Third possibility is complete ignorance.
    I am having such European directness, and we were always taught to cut everything off at the root: rumors, talking behind ones back, but physical threats will never stop only by talking, so action has to be taken. I believe one has to be very direct and respond the same way. Defeat them with their own weapons.
    You know, dogs bark because they are afraid, too. It just sounds scary to others.

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    1. Hi dear Inese! Thank you…I so appreciate your straightforward comment and I am grateful for your words of encouragement and advice. I believe everything you said to be true and underneath all of the big bully yelling and ranting is a soul that is in severe pain and he has no tools to relieve that pressure that builds up. I have made it a point to stay away from him for many years…only having contact when it was absolutely necessary or happened by accident.
      It is a very scary thing to be the focal point of an attack by this sort of individual. I have spent many years trying to stay away from that kind of energy…fairly successfully. Being thrown back into it without any warning for preparation was indeed frightening!! But I have to protect someone else…and as a rule I am much better at that than protecting myself sometimes. But I am working on that as well 😉
      You are very special to me…I am so very grateful for your wisdom. You always offer me beautiful support and it means a lot to me!! I send you love and blessings and I hope that your world is full of love and light!! ❤

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  28. Lorrie, I am so very sorry to have just read this and hope the situation is getting better. How horrible for bullies to feel so insecure that they must inflict pain on others! Prayers to you each and every day, and for the “Bully” too, albeit in a ‘different’ way. I deal with one in my own extended family who slithers in the background, striking whenever possible. There is no ending for me, I know. Therapy has helped to better understand the motives with advice for living with it….Love to you, Lorrie.

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    1. Aww..thank you Kim. You know that prayers work and I so appreciate yours. I send some back your way…it seems that there are more bullies than I ever estimated….so sad that they are in families. I have not been very present…but things have calmed down a bit. I will be over to catch up…I hope all is super in your world! ❤

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    1. Oh…I am in the same place!! I have to believe that I always see the posts I am supposed to see…because sometimes I miss so many!! I am in a “holding” pattern…the bully didn’t get what he wants so he backed off for now. There is that (horrible) nagging feeling that he isn’t done yet! Thank you for your beautiful thoughts! ❤

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  29. Lorrie, I’m sorry you’re going through this, but it’s great to read about your response to it, and see the support and experience of your commenters. I’ve had some rounds with bullies, both men and women, and the one thing they do not want you to do is have help. They want to cut you out from the herd, because they know they are not really very strong; the bullying comes from their own insecurity. Once I realized that, the light went on, very much as you have expressed, and their perceived power went away. Bullying thrives in the dark, and withers with exposure. Keep casting that light! ❤

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    1. Oh! Thank you so much Karen <3. I'm so grateful as there is every good chance he will make himself known this weekend. I couldn't agree more…we have to stay in the light and seek help from friends and loved ones. And…I continue to pray for him every day. So good to see you 🙂

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  30. Aw, my friend. I heard your sweet prayers. I knew I had to come by and visit. I bring lots of love and strength. Stay close to your heart. ❤ That is what I have learned. In the past, I let go of my heart because the contrast around me was too great. Now I cling to my heart no matter what.. to the strong inner healer.. and I hold the other little parts close… and the outer challenges don't seem to have that much power over me anymore. ❤ xxxxx

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    1. Oh…Thank you Laurie! Your words are beautiful and so true! I will “cling to my heart” like nobody’s business because I, too, have found that is the only truth! And no matter the contrast that surrounds … we can stay in that place of love! ❤

      Liked by 1 person

  31. Bon courage Lorrie, je ne vous connais pas, mais je sens que vous êtes courageuse et que vous réussirez à vous imposer devant cet agresseur, vous en avez la force! Je vous envoie plein d’énergies positives. Mes amitiés, Gigi 😊

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