I Remember…An Odyssey ~ He Said I Have Anger

This post is a part of a series of writings during a time of deep healing and transformation.  The following are links to the other writings in the series in chronological order:  Introduction & Haiku, The Funny Thing About Truth, The Journey to…, He Said I Have Anger, The Long Sleepless NightBroken Arrow, Safe, Alone, On The Verge, Shred, Thread, Vindication, Another Inch…Perhaps a Mile, Emancipation, Forgiveness

*Disclaimersome of this subject matter is sensitive in nature.  Please read and explore in safety.

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He said I have anger

But how could that be?

That was before

I took care of all that

I went to the depths

(ok…maybe not ALL of them!)

But I went very deep

And I looked them in the eyes

And I told them I was angry

And they didn’t apologize

NO

They laughed

They made my existence a joke

So I walked away

And I knew what had to be done

I had to forgive them!

FORGIVE THEM?  THEY JUST LAUGHED AT YOU!

Oh…how I despise being laughed at when I am not funny

There…I said it

I despise it!

My body tightens

My fists clench

My thoughts go bad

And I become rigid

And I get angry!

Yes..very angry!

Ah!

He was correct

I am angry

I didn’t fix it all

I didn’t go to the depths of my essence

To the bottom of my soul

There is more work

Yes

Much more work to be done

And I’ve a feeling that forgiveness is indeed involved

Blessitude

Lorrie ❤

3/25/15

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My healing journey on the continuum of "It's all wrong" to "It's all right!" I love art and the creative process, reading, writing, and playing tennis.

29 thoughts on “I Remember…An Odyssey ~ He Said I Have Anger

  1. As you peel away each layer of this deep pain, with wisdom, courage, and love, you come closer to the center of deep peace, deep joy. I have to say it again. I’m so proud of you, Lorrie! Big hug! ❤

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    1. Aww…Thank you my friend. You just touched my heart and made my eyes well up ❤ it really is like peeling layers back…one at a time. I appreciate your being here …cheering me on 🙂 ❤

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  2. being angry is a courageous and a positive reaction, too…
    * * *
    @”Oh… how I despise being laughed at when I am not funny…” – you’re not alone, so welcome to the club, LLL = lovely lady Lorrie! ❤ 🙂

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  3. It’s amazing, but people can always see straight through us. The only one we can sometimes manage to hide from is our self! Unbelievable. Forgiveness can feel like a drudgery sometimes, like we’re digging into all this muck. I think when we turn the corner and remember forgiveness isn’t cataloging the muck, but releasing it forever– trading it in for the pristine version of what is– it becomes a joy. But reaching that point… it requires so much honesty with oneself… so much navigation through the self-conscious areas we hoped we could compensate for with other strategies… 🙂

    Much Love, Lorrie!
    Michael

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    1. You have said a lot here, Michael! It is kind of like peeling back the layers and exposing more and more of ourselves…to ourselves. The truth, at least for me, is that I knew myself all along. For whatever reason I chose to ignore it…ego probably…I have always deep down known my essence. The lies that were told, the lies I accepted, only stalled the process in the long run. For all the reasons I thought I needed to be punished I found, perhaps, THE most hurtful way there is! I won’t say that I am completely healed, for I know there is more work to be done. But I feel huge changes that deepen my awareness and offer me choices 🙂

      Thank you for traveling with me. I’m really excited about life and the possibilities that are opening up. Many blessings to you dear friend! ❤

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  4. I’m going backwards in your series and well it’s just funny how God works. He leads us to each other to learn and you are a great teacher! Thank you for this. And for sharing. I haven’t stopped to read a lot because I am running around like a chicken with my head cut off trying to keep up with just the daily stuff and I need to make time for me. Glad I did today. You are so worth the pause! 😊

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