How do you get over the death of a parent?
I wasn’t sure when, or even if, I would share this. The pain of losing my mom, “The Momma,” has been unlike any other in my life.
There…I shared it.
It’s a new life
Everything is different
I feel different
I see the physical changes
But nothing compares to the
Layers of changes in my emotional landscape
It feels strange to be able to just pick up and leave last minute
It feels strange to just go to bed without first doing my nightly check
It feels strange to just walk past the door…and never have to enter
There is a piece of my soul that cries me to sleep every night
There is a piece of my mind that tries to change some of what transpired
And there is a piece of my heart
THAT LEFT WITH YOU!
I’m not okay.
There is so much to process about what happened in the last two years since I became my Mom’s full-time caretaker.
So much of it was beautiful and I am full of Blessitude that I had the opportunity to do this.
She lived in the condo directly next door to me, thanks to a dear friend who made it possible. I was close enough and yet we both still had our own personal space. It was the perfect set up!
She was 90 years, 6 months, and 15 days old when she passed on December 12th.
I spend the majority of my days talking myself into being okay. It’s the circle of life…blah blah blah.
There’s so much to do. The last chapter; the ending of a life requires great care by the person who was entrusted to handle those wishes.
I have collected a pool of tears, and I have been paralyzed at times. But most of all, I am honored.
They say if you only prayed this one prayer, “Thank You,” it would be enough.