My Heart Blossoms

20140524_113018       20140524_113108

Directly to my heart

the arrow of love pierces my being

the feeling is strong and overwhelming

due to its long absence

but I accept it

I caress it

I honor it

 

Gone are the dark days

where my first thought was one of guilt

look back on a life

and be responsible for everyone

everything

and the funny thing is that I WAS responsible

just not in the way I thought I was

 

Now it’s hard to believe the way I berated myself

mistreated myself

mistreated God

for how could I dishonor one of his children

it ran deep

deep in the veins of my soul

I did not even recognize the person who took over

the tyrant with a stick

to beat down anything that was beautiful

anything that was true

 

I can cry now

and see the wrongness of it all

and I can rejoice now

for all that is right

my heart blossoms

like a beautiful spring flower

bubbles over with love for all

with love for myself

 

It is new

foreign

but it is nice

and I want to hold on to it

and I want to grab it with both arms

in a death grip

with fear

so that it can never leave me again

panic rises in my throat

at the thought of losing it

at the thought of going back to the ugliness

the vile desecration

 

BUT THEN I STOP

 

Breathe!

let it go

relax

release

no fear

I look at the flower that closed so tightly

and I poke it

tap it gently

tap my heart

it’s okay

you are safe

you don’t have to protect yourself

for the act of protection is what closes you off from God

 

One by one

the petals of my heart loosen

and it is spring all over again

the beautiful flower blossoms

and the love flows freely

and this is where I want to be

this is where I want to stay

this is where I am meant to be

20140524_113054

 

Blessitude

Lorrie

6/8/14

 

28 thoughts on “My Heart Blossoms

  1. Beautiful poem Lorrie, and amazing last stanza:

    “One by one
    the petals of my heart loosen
    and it is spring all over again
    the beautiful flower blossoms
    and the love flows freely
    and this is where I want to be
    this is where I want to stay
    this is where I am meant to be”.

    I love it 🙂 Take care!

    Like

  2. The happiness,
    The joys,
    The love,
    is what you & I seek,
    Their presence in heart,
    Make me smile,
    Give me a reason to live.

    A token of appreciation for your lovely thoughts.
    Regards,
    Krishna

    Like

  3. Just beautiful Lorrie!! Thank you for sharing your loving and open hearted work with all of us. I particularly connect with the line, “One by one the petals of my heart loosen”. Brilliant!! Light & love.

    Like

    1. Hi Lisa! Oh….Thank you. I love flowers so it was easy to equate one with my heart 🙂 I like that line too, because I could really feel my heart “opening.” Love to you ♡♡

      Like

  4. This is so gorgeous Lorrie!! You have embraced yourself and accepted your own loveliness and worth! That is so beautiful! You know, many of us, when we love, we love so much and so intense that the love we have for someone or something outside of ourselves blinds us for the love that is inside, if that makes sense. we forget to love ourselves because we are so busy loving everyone else. But for many of us, we fail to see that a love that is not an overflow or an expansion of our soul-love, is not really true, it is a fragile love that can shatter and break, because its existence is based on something outside of ourselves, its based on a need, a need to be loved, to be accepted, to be needed, it is a love that grabs hold of something, and soak up instead of flowing over, it is like we have an empty cup and we are pleading for someone to fill it instead of having a full cup that we let spill over on another person. When we see ourselves as a soul, a manifestation of God’s Love, made of Love, a ray of the sun that can never become shadow, then we can learn to really love unconditionally from inside out without a need to receive anything back. It starts within, then it spill over to the outside, too many of us start as beggars, with an empty cup looking to get it filled by the world. These are just my thoughts Lorrie, my discoveries 🙂 I am very proud of you and so very happy for you that you have found this divine Love within, know that it can not disappear, and if you cannot find it, there are many who will be here to gently remind you of where it is, in your soul 🙂 Lots and lots of Love to you dear soulsister! 🙂

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    1. Oh Line… I am speechless. You touched my heart with your response…it is so true…so valid. This needs to be shared. This is the understanding I have come to…in fact let me quote something I wrote in the fall…and just found it on a slip of paper when I got back to my home in NJ. “If you feel like you can’t take on caring about one more person – then you are neglecting love of yourself. Because if it feels like there are ‘limits to the amount of love’ then it’s bottled up inside you and you are not loving yourself. Love flows…it is limitless!”
      Line…I think you should post this comment on your blog…you explain so beautifully…so prolifically. I am so moved by your words…I think everyone should read them because it is stated in a way that makes so much sense. More people need to read this…it deserves a space of its own…where it can be seen by many.
      Thank you dear friend!

      Like

      1. Wow, your words to yourself are so beautiful! 🙂 I think you should make a post of them 🙂 I am really happy that my thoughts made sense to you. I am little scared of posting these kind of thoughts on my blog, I don’t know if what I am thinking is right, if you know what I mean, we all have different journeys with different experiences, and what makes sense to me, may not make sense to all. But I am so happy that it made sense to you!! 🙂

        Like

  5. Yes Line…I know exactly what you mean. And I understand that you are led to post what comes from your heart. It did make so much sense to me and I got excited to think everyone would understand!! But I get it…and would never wish to make you uncomfortable. Just know how much your words spoke to me…it makes sense doesn’t it? That if we think so alike we would connect on this level! Much love to you soulsister 🙂

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      1. My mother used to publish this style of poetry for grade school aged children. Your abilities are very familiar and dear to my heart.

        The True Light

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          1. You are most welcome, and very deserving. I’m afraid most of my mother’s work has been lost, as she’s now in a home care facility.

            However, if I can think to look for some of her work, and find anything, I’ll try to let you know.

            The True Light

            Liked by 1 person

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