Whose Pain is This?

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I didn’t know whose pain this was

It felt like mine

It hurt like mine

It made me hardly able to move

How could it not be mine?

So I claimed it

And I berated myself

I put myself down

I got angry

And I haven’t been angry in a very long time

*

I thought I fixed the broken parts of me

I thought my life was so beautiful

So how could I allow the pain to return to my vessel

To the body I learned to love and honor

Something dark must be lurking

I must still have negative thoughts

Why else would I allow myself to hurt so bad?

Suddenly all my old demons have pointed a finger

And it looks like mine

Pointing back at me

*

But then there’s a call

And then there’s another

And then there’s an argument

And then there’s more anger

And then a neon sign with two fingers full of energy

And they don’t point at me

And then there is realization

I am fine and I have been for quite some time

But the voices on the other end of the phone

They are not!

And it becomes crystal clear that I have picked up their energy from a collective 2500 miles

Proving that distance – space – is all an illusion

That energy is all there is and it lives inside of us

*

So I apologize to myself

For doubting the good I have gained

And I recognized that I could return the pain to the right owner

For there is no way that I can fix them

I can only be a source of support

I can’t make anyone face their truth

Just like no one could make me face mine

*

It saddens me a little that I had so little faith

That I turned on myself like old habits dictate

But I am ever so grateful for this understanding

And maybe next time I will recognize that my body is showing loved one’s pain

Not mine

Blessitude

Lorrie

8/5/14

44 thoughts on “Whose Pain is This?

  1. Having a compassionate heart is such a delicate balance. Every time we get sucked into someone else’s pain…and then return to our Presence….we are one step closer to Truth. You are wise in your gratitude!

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  2. I get angry now and then. Frustration x 2, kinda thang. I figure, it’s that time of the month. πŸ˜‰ Well?
    It happens to middle-aged trees. Maybe the planets affect us more as we get older?
    One of the archetypes is “The Nag”. She speaks to both genders.
    Pointing that wicked crooked finger at us.
    Something we’re not aware
    of yet, perhaps.
    Hugz!
    K

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    1. Oh, I can see that crooked finger and I don’t want it pointing at me UT!! Yes, I do think there is something to the “being affected” by planets, people, emotions, FINGERS…the older we get!! I’m just hoping that we also become better equipped at “handling” it all πŸ˜‰ Thanks Keith…hope your week is going fantastically! ! ❀

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    1. Thank you so much John! I am honored by your beautiful compliment and so happy to have had this understanding today. It seems I am very sensitive to other’s energies…especially those I love. I just have to get better discerning whose energy it is. ❀

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  3. Love this. I had one of these realizations at work earlier in the year. I finally realized that not everyone is on, or even wants to be on this journey that I am on, and I have to be ok with that.

    At the same time I need to be a window into a better world for them to look through every now and then, so they can wonder if they want it too πŸ™‚

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    1. Hi Chris….I love the window comment!! And yes…for this journey it is probably much better to follow the adage, “actions speak louder than words!”
      It was hard for me in the beginning because I felt so good about the work I was doing….I thought everyone I loved could benefit.
      Thanks so much for adding here!! Have a super day πŸ™‚

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  4. Oh, Lorrie, this is wonderful!! πŸ™‚ You have become so so strong!! πŸ™‚ Even I had a very difficult day yesterday, I felt drowned in other people’s opnions and demands, and it was so tough to not let it sadden me, but I received words and signs from the angels and then I was okay πŸ™‚ I am publishing those words on my blog now πŸ™‚

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    1. Thank you Trini! I am sorry you had a tough day also….but you are also very strong….and these lessons make us stronger. I will hop over to your place in a bit to read your wonderful words. I am happy the Angels comforted you ❀ ❀

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  5. This resonated with me, Lorrie. To be fully alive and on our chosen path to heal ourselves and our world, is also to be vulnerable. These experiences are tests – reminding us what we still have to learn, but also how far along the path we have travelled. An opportunity perhaps…
    Thank you for sharing in with such energy, and with such beautiful words. <3l

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    1. Hi Rachael….I am so thankful for your comforting words and reminders. Yes, it makes so much sense that we become more vulnerable when we come from our truth. In school I LOVED tests because I was always prepared for them. Seems I have a lot to learn about the tests in “real life.” I appreciate your insight πŸ™‚ Have a super day!!

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  6. Dear Lorrie, Although we have felt pain in the past and have done our healing work … there is a residual wound that can still be pierced. Others trigger what is inside of us. When we feel pain, it is ours to explore once more. This takes courage to be so vulnerable again.
    Forgive yourself as you forgive others.
    Let it go, as part of the ongoing journey we call life.
    Thank you for sharing from your heart … as always.
    hugs
    Val x

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    1. Hi Val….thank you so much! I always find such comfort in the words you send to me. Yes…I know there is still pain that must be explored and I believe it presents itself when we are best equipped to deal with it. It is unfortunate that writing that statement just brought me such fear because I truly want to come from love…not fear. But a wounded soul must be healed…and I am committed to my work. Thank you for your support….I am so grateful for you!! ❀

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  7. I have been “there” so many times – oh so many times …. taking on the pain of others, looking at myself and wondering why or how I became so broken, knowing it couldn’t be me, yet it felt as though was, I was acting and reacting as though it was .. just to find in the end, that it wasn’t me, wasn’t my emotions – wasn’t my problem to fix. Thank you so much for sharing this – is wonderful when you can cross paths with people and realize that they too – shorter, taller, different colored eyes or hair – skinnier, heavier, close or a place far, far away – is also experiencing so much of the same things as you do. It just goes to show you how alone we aren’t. ❀ Kimberly

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    1. Hi Kimberly…yes! To everything you said πŸ™‚ It is amazing to connect with people who experience life similarly. Whose pain is it?…what amazes me most is that I have not figured out how to answer that faster. Because honestly, once I was able to recognize it was not mine I felt so much better physically!! I’m so happy we connected and look forward to sharing more πŸ™‚ Thank you! ❀

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      1. I’m actually working on that very thing with a dear person who has a unique spirit and connection – helping me grow and understand the clarity I was innately born with (empathic issues being one them). πŸ™‚ As of late, there are more times than not … when I can recognize the source, but I haven’t learned to block their emotions yet … I’ll get there. πŸ˜‰ I look forward to sharing more as well – and you are very welcome – this was a great connection. πŸ™‚

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        1. I’ve only in the last couple years been able to put the label “empath” to the crazy emotions…being able to “know” people and their motivations…and the reason why I FEEL so much. I am sorting it out, but I have a long way to go. I was just so happy to know what it was!! Really, really happy to meet you ❀

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    1. Hi Laurie! I am grateful that you could find comfort in something I have written, because I, so many times, am comforted by your words! Yes, I do have trouble deciphering whose pain it is, as I realize I feel not only mine, but others as well. It is all a learning process…and all part of healing. Which I think is an on going process….we probably shouldn’t think we have “fixed” something and that’s the end of it. Much love to you…You inspire me!

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