Freak Accident ~ Broken

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I didn”t mean to hurt you…

Oh, but you did.

In fact, I didn’t know that I did.

I wondered about that as I cried through my pain.

I heard something but I didn’t think it was my place to reach out to you.  I don’t know you.

I knew you heard me cry…and I ask you…do you need to know someone to comfort them?

Well, it would have been uncomfortable.

I’m terribly sorry that offering a fellow being comfort would cause you discomfort…I am truly sorry about that.

And I am sorry that I hurt you.

Thank you.

I had a very freak accident yesterday.  I was in a public restroom and as I was closing my door with my hand around the edge of it, a woman pushed her door open harder than you could ever imagine.  The two doors were traveling towards each other…with my hand right smack in the middle of the explosive crash!

I think I made it worse because I yanked my hand back at the impact.  I know I screamed…and then I cried.  And the woman went about her business washing and drying her hands and promptly left.  She never said a word.

My hand immediately swelled and the restaurant staff got me ice.  They wanted me to see the lifeguards and make an incident report.  The lifeguards strongly suggested I get an x-ray.

I took the ice off after 20 minutes, and my hand was so grotesquely swollen I couldn’t look at it!  I did go to get an x-ray and I could not be more grateful that nothing was broken 🙂

It is very painful and very swollen.  I can’t use it so the reality of what our dominant hand does for us is very real to me.  I have thought a lot about the things I do with my hands and I am so blessed.  First I thought about the tennis match this morning that I would not be able to play for our team…then I thought about my latest art project that I was so excited to finish…then, in horror, I thought I couldn’t write!!!

It made me realize how much I take my body for granted.  It made me realize that life has the possibility of changing drastically in a millisecond.   It made me wonder how many times people hurt other people and have no idea that they did.  Worse than that, it made me wonder how many people know that they have hurt someone and are able to just walk away.

My words above were an imaginary conversation I had with the woman who must have “kicked” her stall door open.  I will always wonder who she was, what she thought, and what she might have been going through in her life.  It made me feel a little better to write about it.

I wrote the above yesterday.  Today my hand feels much better…in fact I am using it to type …not without pain…but at least it moves and the swelling has gone done some.  The photograph was taken at the beach restaurant a few months ago…I didn’t know what photo to include.  I thought about posting a photo of my hand…but it was so icky!

Blessitude

Lorrie ❤

1/21/15

89 thoughts on “Freak Accident ~ Broken

  1. Your imaginary conversation with the woman is powerful — and so true. How many times….

    Sorry to hear about your hand. I sometimes find it hurts more when the other is oblivious to my pain! Perhaps that is the truth though — pain shared lessens, just as burdens lighten.

    Hugs and prayers for a quick recovery my friend.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you, Louise for so beautifully articulating what was lurking behind my pain. It feels I have spent a lifetime holding my pain alone…with the offenders being oblivious. Perhaps you have given me a gift here today…something that deserves to be explored deeply…Thank You!! ❤ ❤

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  2. Wow! What a strange situation. It feels as if things are happening on multiple levels here. When I read the beginning I thought it was someone who had emotionally hurt you. I do know what you mean that we take our bodies for granted until they are sick or hurt.
    I wish you rapid healing (on many levels 🙂 )

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    1. I adore my friends here…Thank you Kim! Yes! Multiple levels. I spent much of that day in disbelief that I could get so hurt just going to the restroom!! And it seems there have been so many painful things in my life lately. I don’t think I am keeping the negative energy around me….but the universe is showing me something in a huge way. I am grateful for this information (and even more grateful that I can use my hand today!!) Thanks Kim, hope everything is going well at the new studio 🙂 ❤

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  3. Oh, that sounds so painful!!! I have had my finger stuck in doors a couple of times and it is so horrible!! I always close doors very slowly now cause I am afraid of getting someone’s finger stuck in them. I am so happy that you are feeling better now and that you are able to type! I hope with all my heart that I have never hurt anyone. Well, I know I have hurt some guys by rejecting them, but I can’t date someone just to be nice!! I think we do the opposite a lot as well, touch people’s heart without knowing it. That is why I have made it a point to always tell people when they touch my heart and inspire me, beacuse I want them to know so that they can feel happy! 🙂 I hope you are doing well lovely Lorrie, and that your days are filled with things to make you smile 🙂 ❤ Lots of Love to you sister! 🙂 ❤

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    1. My dear sweet Trini!! I love you so much! You always look on the positive side of things. It makes me feel so much better to think of what you said…touching people’s hearts without knowing it rather than hurting them without knowing it! Like you, I shudder to think of me causing someone pain without realizing it. I know that I have caused pain, but when I do I try so hard to correct it. As far as you letting some guys down…I imagine that has probably happened quite a bit!! And you, I am sure, let then down as beautifully as possible. Thank you my friend…I am doing much better. I am grateful for your beauty in my life ❤ ❤

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  4. What a hurtful experience…both physically and emotionally. Glad your hand is feeling better, and that you were able to glean goodness from what you went through.

    So many things happen in the course of a day; many are beautiful moments, and many are ones like what you experienced. People are so wrapped up in their own lives and heads that I believe many times they are completely unaware of the consequences of their actions. Sometimes they know the pain they infuse on others, however in their selfishness, they intentionally tune it out. Others are truly unaware and just plod through life in “ignorant bliss”. As you pointed out, that makes me wonder about the many times I might have hurt others and never even knew of it:-(

    Wishing you a wonderful day!
    Bernadette

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    1. Yes, Bernadette! I wondered if that was my “lesson.” People and events always hold a mirror to us so that we can have awareness…if we are willing to look! That is where I went first…do I walk through life and touch others in a negative way without realizing it? I am certain it has happened at some point, but I will be ever so conscious in the future. As for the pain caused by this woman, both physically and emotionally, I was able to look at it from many angles…and my friends here have given me more to think about. But I believe, for whatever reason, she COULDN’T offer me comfort…and I have been able to forgive her…and wish her love that whatever has caused her to be this way will be softened.

      Thank you for your beautiful comment and support. I feel like I have been posting so many negative events…well, that is what has been occurring for me. I wrote most of this post yesterday…and in today’s light I thought about deleting it. But the lessons keep coming and I can only put here in words that which comes from my heart and soul. I am so grateful for you! ❤

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      1. I believe that sometimes it is imperative to share negative experiences. That is “reality” in the world we live in. Sometimes it is very reassuring to know how others get through the struggles., and to just know we are not alone. Those shared experiences can bring us closer together:-)

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  5. Oh my..you must have been shocked by that incident – both emotionally and physically! I believe sometimes there’s no reason for a person’s behavior specially towards strangers..but then again you never know even after being acquainted to a person for as long as you can remember. I’m glad you took it out by writing this lovely poem, Lorrie. It’s the inner conflict that hurts the most, doesn’t it? 😦
    I’ll send some healing energy your way, my friend! Take rest and feel good soon. Love and hugs! ❤ ❤

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    1. Thank you!!! I know that you understand the under tones that this event brought up for me. Maybe I didn’t completely understand until I got involved with some of the comments here…and I will have to spend some time in quiet reflection about it all. I appreciate you my friend!!! Much love ❤ ❤

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  6. I’m glad your hand is on the mend Lorrie. And more importantly your kind and compassionate responses to the woman and situation. May we live with more awareness of how we impact one another and offer kindness when possible. blessings and healing to you

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    1. Thank you so much, Brad. It really is all about awareness, isn’t it? I am not sure if she was aware…I have thought that maybe she was hard of hearing and truly had no idea what happened. And then I wonder how I could have hurt feelings if she was completely unaware. And then I look over a lifetime of hurts…and wonder how many of them were caused by someone who was completely unaware. Thanks my friend…for always being here!! I appreciate you so much and send you lots of love! ❤

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  7. One feels inclined to say how unbelievable it is that some people can be so uncaring, so failing in empathic qualities. Sadly, though, there are many more psychopaths amongst us than we would have ourselves believe. I cannot imagine what it must be like, to have no response to others’ suffering, and the odd thing is, one feels compassionate in light of the deficiency. After all, such people did not choose to be that way. Keep healing Lorrie. H ❤

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    1. Hi Hariod! Love your response…as I always do! You always give me more to think about…more to ponder. I think maybe, in light of the deficiency, those who do FEEL perhaps feel even more…to make up the difference…to establish balance…equilibrium. I can’t say for sure what motivated this woman, but I am happy to say that I have been able to feel compassion towards her…maybe not immediately…I will have to work on that! You are so correct, I can’t imagine that people CHOOSE to be unkind or unfeeling. Life affects us all differently, and we all walk our own journey. Thank you my friend, I hope that all is super in your world ❤

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  8. You have written through the pain, my dear. A perfect opportunity to show awareness, not only of your own pain, both physical and emotional…..but awareness of the pain of the offender. You are right to spread compassion on this unconscious person, trying to propel her pain into a bathroom stall door. The fact that she didn’t stop, shows how much pain she is dealing with.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Yes…yes…yes and yes! You have hit the stall door on the handle!! 😉 You also shine a huge light on my own behavior and made me remember times that I tried to “propel” my pain onto something inanimate! I know for certain that I have slammed a door or two in frustration….I am thankful I never physically hurt anyone in the process…but I can’t say for sure that I didn’t hurt them emotionally. See, I knew there were many chances for enlightenment in this particular event. I can’t tell you how grateful I am to have your input…to have your friendship!! Much love ❤ ❤

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  9. I don’t believe in accidents as a rule. I always see things as a wake up for someone. You were awakened to the miracle of your body. The woman was the teacher. I had a friend who was knocked down in a mall by another woman in a hurry. The other woman didn’t stop to offer help or take responsibility. My friend had a broken ankle and wrist and was already suffering from Osteoarthritis. There are so many who are not raised to be empathetic and caring. It makes the rest of us more aware of how much that empathy is needed. I’m glad your hand is healing along with your heart. That you can send kind thoughts to her is an advanced way of being in the world. We need more like you.

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    1. Oh…thank you for your beautiful comment! I agree with you…I always believe all things happen to teach us something that is necessary…something we are lacking. I’m sorry about your friend…and I KNOW exactly how she must have felt about the uncaring individual who knocked her down…I hope that she has healed completely from her injuries and from the emotional response to being treated as insignificant.

      We are all walking at different places on the trail of life…I always go back to how boring would it be if we were all at the same place at the same time….?

      Thank you for your comfort and compassion…I truly appreciate it! ❤

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      1. My friend considers herself too insignificant to be treated well. That was just another reminder that she needs to wake up. Those injuries have healed but not the attitude so there will always be more.
        Fortunately, you get the message quickly so there needs to be fewer if any reminders. I’m glad you are healing. I always care as the Universe cares greatly for me.

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        1. The universe has a way of bonking us over the head with the lessons we must learn…when we don’t learn them the same lesson is hammered over and over. I am sorry your friend has not been enlightened to her beautiful significance yet! I am a work in progress 😉 Thank you!

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  10. I’m still trying to wrap my head around someone not responding to that situation….were they deaf??? I truly can’t believe someone can be that self preoccupied to not reach out….here’s to healing for your hand and yes it is a life lesson in a couple of ways…the first I already mentioned and the second is the other aspect you talked about…life can change in a millisecond. Take Care and thanks for sharing!!

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    1. Thanks Kirt 🙂 It was very surreal while it was happening. I will never know what her story is, but I do pray for her…because as you said it is so hard to believe she could hear me and be so dismissive. Appreciate your compassion, Kirt! ❤

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    1. Hi Ellie!! Thank you so much for your prayers…I so appreciate it. Your kind words go directly to my heart, Ellie. I have been praying for her…and I am so grateful because I’m not so sure that 5 or more years ago I would have had it in my heart to forgive her and to pray for her. I am Blessitude!! Much love to you dear friend…I hope you are not getting the snow I see on the weather channel! ❤ ❤

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      1. A few years back a window slammed shut on my left hand index finger and smashed and since I’m a left ie it was awful for a few months..and I still have the scar. Now You heal and take the best care.
        More big careful hugs
        John

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        1. I’m sorry to hear that John! It is easy to take things for granted. After living that way for months I am sure you remember from time to time! 🙂 I feel so blessed…it looked and it felt so much worse than it turned out to be. Have a super night, John…and thanks for the hugs!! ❤

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    1. I have no idea, Mary….no idea at all. To be honest, she was a bull of a woman…huge…and when she did and said nothing I actually felt a little fear and locked myself in the stall. I can’t imagine what was up with her, but I’d be happy to never see her again! Thank you for your healing thoughts…I really feel better! ❤

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  11. What an awful thing to have happen! I truly believe everything happens for a reason, and that we can all learn something from these kinds of situations… although the one you experienced is quite an unusual one! Some people are so focused on themselves that they are blind to everything around them. I am so sorry that happened to you!! I am so glad your hand is better today, and that you are able to use it! Many blessings and continued healing for your hand!

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    1. Thank you dear Julie! I agree with you…I believe everything happens for a reason. This one did not make sense right away…but I do believe it is shining a spot light on something I need to deal with. Thank you for your beautiful support…I so appreciate you. And yes, I couldn’t be more grateful to have the use of my hand!! ❤ ❤

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  12. OUCH! on so many levels Lorrie. It brings so much to our awareness when we have been physically and emotionally hurt! Its so good to see you working through this … and your hand is healing too. I believe that both are connected. When we heal our minds the body heals so much quicker 🙂
    Be well and give yourself lots of space and kindness to mind, body and spirit.
    Hugs
    xo

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    1. Thank you Val. I believe they are connected as well. And I also know that I have awareness of something huge here…something that has perhaps been a limiting belief for most of my life! I will be kind and I will work through this…it is very important. Thank you for your incredibly acute intuitive sense. I hope all is super in your world, Val! ❤

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  13. I have seen people not react to other’s pain or emotional hurt and it is quite astonishing to watch, as I jump and react to every emotion ha! I hope for a speedy recovery and you sound like you are understanding that no matter what situation we find ourselves in, we have been blest to see a greater vision of life and to have compassion for those who cannot. 🙂

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  14. Oh, Lorrie, I’m so sorry that happened to you. I just can’t imagine that the woman didn’t even have the decency to apologize and/or ask if you were okay! That may be the rudest thing I’ve ever heard. Do take care of your hand and don’t overdo it for several days. Hugs and blessings for healing, N ❤ ❤ ❤

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    1. Thank you my wonderful friend Natalie! I really feel much better…physically and emotionally. It helps me to find what I think the lesson was in all of the ickiness!! I have full faith that the understanding will be to my greater good! I hope that you are hanging in there…and that your pain is not too much. The countdown is on!! Much love ❤

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  15. I did hesitate before I clicked on “like”, but… glad to hear you’re better today! ❤ domestic accidents happen every day and some may be quite serious, so take care and be careful, young lady! 🙂 prevention is better than cure! wish you my very best, quick & full recovery… 🙂

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  16. So sorry to hear about your hand but glad it’s getting better. It’s so hard to imagine someone not stopping. I hope it stays in her mind and convicts her. I’ve found such selfcenteredness usually carries its own penalties.
    I had a similar experience yesterday when cycling across a zebra crossing with my grandson in front on his bike. The cars had all stopped, it was safe (or so we thought!) Suddenly a car came speeding down, veered around the patiently waiting stopped ones and almost crashed into him causing him to come off his bike in having to sharply veer out of the way. The car never even stopped to see if he was alright (thankfully he was). I was just too slow to get the reg, no. memorized (she’d maybe even loose her licence here).
    I find it tough to imagine people can be so very self centered about things like this. I reminded him we must be thankful for all the kind folks that stop and let us by, (even when he rides on the sidewalk) and that people like this are the exception not the rule.

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    1. Oh…how frightening that must have been!! I am so thankful that your grandson was not injured!! I just can’t believe how care”less” these people can be…they must be embroiled in their own personal hell for them to be so clueless to their actions and non-caring to their fellow man. Imagine almost hitting a child on a bike and being able to zoom away. I can only pray that she was so shaken that it made a huge impact in her awareness and that she was just to fearful to stop! Claire…it seems to me that I am seeing more and more of this kind of behavior and it ….I wanted to say scares me but I don’t want to live in fear….so I will say I pray for people to become aware of their behavior and to FEEL compassion!! Again…I am so grateful that your grandson was not injured! Much love ❤

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      1. I think it may come under, “the hearts of many waxing cold”. I try to focus on the good folks who are thankfully far more numerous. (I must admit to a secret “God let this stay in her mind and change her” prayer.) Hope your hand is better.

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          1. I was thinking about your poor hand and it occurred to me. I always read your posts thoroughly (confession I skim many) as I know without fail they will be inspiring and uplifting, you give so much through your hands. I’ll be praying for their healing and future protection. (I can almost imagine some naughty little imp saying, “get that hand. It’s dangerous!”)

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            1. You are so kind…and so uplifting to me!! Thank you Claire…from the bottom of my heart…you brought tears of joy to my eyes. I am so grateful to you…and I am so grateful for my hands! Thank you for praying for them 😉 ❤

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  17. Your imaginary conversation was powerful! I’m sorry this happened to you, but happy nothing is broken and it seems to be healing well. But I wonder why this person did not stop and see what happened when she must have heard you cried out….We so take our full bodily functions for granted, and forget to be thankful when everything “works”. I’m guilty.

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    1. I think most people are guilty of this …I wish to honor my body more and give it the credit it is due…it performs miraculous feats every day…and most of it without our awareness at all!! Thanks for your concern…it is nice to feel it! Have a super weekend ❤

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  18. We can gain so much from the experience of loving someone, despite their actions. This adds to the world of love, this is in no way saying you accept their actions, rather we heal when we flow through it with compassion for ourselves and others: at the highest level for someone like you Lorrie is to embrace her in love( despite the action). You are right when you say you have no idea what has happened to her. We could say with some conviction that this type of action has been bestowed on her. This type of love for another is in the realm of unconditional, and I believe you have the capacity for this. Many think they would be a Martyr if they did not get angry. It is strength that loves more than their pain. (or our pain for that matter.) I love you Lorrie, and I know You will heal fast because you will keep your heart open and forgive. See this as an opportunity to Love even more. Not to many may agree with this and that is OK too. Sending Love and Light. Much Love Robyn

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    1. Thank you my friend, dear Heart to Heart Robyn!!!! Yes! Your words go straight to the heart of the matter…and I KNOW that this event is a huge learning opportunity. I embrace the unconditional love…and there is a piece of myself that I can see in this woman who is so obviously hurting. Hurt people hurt…that is for sure …but it could also be said that healing people heal!!! And if I can be a conduit in even the tiniest way…if I can pass the love along and help to ease even one person’s pain….I am so happy and so grateful to do it!!

      I not only forgive her, but I forgive every person who hurt me and didn’t acknowledge it…and most importantly I forgive myself! I love you too and I am so grateful for the day that we landed on the same page 😉 I wish you a beautiful weekend full of love!! ❤

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  19. aww am sorry that happened to you Lorrie but glad nothing is broken! Hope the pain is gone and you feel all better soon…It is so true all the things we take for granted until something like this happens and you begin to appreciate these wonderful things about ourself…the same thing happened after my fall on christmas day…when i busted my lip and chipped my tooth! had never given a second thought about it until then but again was grateful it wasn’t anything that could not be fixed, …Much love and thank you for sharing this beautiful reminder…<3 (PS: I do think she should have apologized to you but then again we cannot control anyone else's action apart from out own so am glad you let it out this way)

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    1. Lorrie,
      All I can say is OUCH! You made NY heart cling to yours later in your comments likening your past pain to having to ride it alone. And not EVEN being acknowledged by the one who caused it.
      And your imagery of not being able to look, well we ALL can relate.
      But that woman was a coward. I am sure she thought about it all night. But your point is a good one. I t makes us all really see with a great metaphor, how uncomfortable it is for the pain
      givers to acknowledge their actions. Great food for thought! Praying for healing of your hand.

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      1. Thank you Di! I understand most people would not want to deal with the aftermath of causing someone pain…I suppose that is human nature. It is okay…I feel better about the whole thing now. I know it brought up some areas for me that I still need to work on 🙂

        Thank you so much for writing…I appreciate your concern…and it is good to hear from you 🙂 How is everything? How is the book? Much love to you Di. Enjoy the rest of your weekend ❤

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        1. Lorrie
          Praying for fast healing! I loved how you made an accident into a spiritual journey! For me too! I love my new job! Hoping to get back to my book soon with fresh eyes. Today is my Friday, off in an hour😊 Thank you. Enjoy your weekend as well💖

          Liked by 1 person

    2. Dear Neha!! I am so sorry you fell and broke your lip and tooth!! I feel I should have known this…if you posted about it I am truly sorry I missed it!! I pray for your well being…and hope you are all fixed up 🙂

      Yes…Thank you so much for your well wishes. My hand is much better…and I am working hard to resume all of my normal activities. Thanks so much for your love it means a lot to me!! ❤

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      1. aww thank you and it’s ok I didn’t post about it …so no need to be sorry at all thank you so much for your kind wishes and am so glad your hand is better, my tooth doesn’t hurt but still waiting to see dentist to get that chip filled haha…Big hugs! ❤

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  20. Sometimes I think people just don’t have the tools to be vulnerable in the situation in which they find themselves. It is not meant to be hurtful, I don’t think. We panic… Once when I was a boy I was riding my bike through the city and a car pulled out of a parking garage right onto the sidewalk. I skidded into it and rolled the bike on its side to come to a stop. As I stood and pulled the bike up between my legs to walk it back like you would a motorcycle, she backed up, perhaps trying to help, or perhaps because she had pulled too far forward to begin with, and her tire stopped on top of my foot. I wasn’t really present, but was sort of watching myself bang on her driver side window. She promptly pulled forward, a bit too sharply, and kind of shot my foot out the back of the wheel. Then drove off… Somehow, I didn’t even have a broken bone… I could tell from her face when I was banging on the window: she just didn’t have the tools to deal with the situation in which she found herself…

    Michael

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    1. Oh, Michael…how terrible….some lady popped a wheelie off of your foot!! I bet you remember it like it was yesterday. I have to admit that the words you wrote are so true…they are just not equipped to deal with the situation. I know that I have caused my share of pain to others, and this incident really made me look back and consider what I did and how uncomfortable it made me. The most uncomfortable thing I can think of was breaking up with a boyfriend…and I did it at a wedding!!! And to be honest I would have loved to run and hide and never have to see him again…so maybe…just maybe I can understand a little of what she felt.

      Thanks for sharing, Michael 🙂 Hope the rest of your weekend is super!

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  21. I’m sending love to both your hands, as the undamaged one might have to do more work for a while. such important work is done with our hands! I’m remembering that at a college dance, almost 40 years ago, I was very upset about something (I don’t even remember what it was now) and accidentally slammed a door on someone’s finger. I was storming out of somewhere, caught up in my own drama, and didn’t know I had hurt her. Later that night, when some one told me, I was still angry, but also embarrassed. I don’t have a clear memory of apologizing. I believe I did. I sure hope I did. I still feel bad about it after all these years. I am sorry, that your hand was hurt. I feel like I’m apologizing for the woman who hurt you, though she is not me. I hope your hand heals well and quickly.

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    1. Oh, JoAnne…Thank you for your beautiful love!! I’m so sorry I made you relive that time in your life! You, apologizing…does help in a strange way 🙂 In hindsight I see that it must have been the woman’s anger at something else that created the event in the first place…and then, as you said…it is very difficult to go from full on anger to love in a millisecond (although it is my wish to be able to accomplish this!) As we are all connected your apology helps us all…and my forgiveness…which I give to you freely will also help that woman!! Thank you for helping me see beauty 🙂 ❤

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    1. For sure…most doors swing in to avoid this (I used to wonder why they did because it is so hard to get into a stall sometimes!) My hand still has healing to do…as does that woman I suppose! Thanks for stopping by and commenting 🙂

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  22. Hoi Lorrie, vielen Dank für die schöne Geschichte und deine Erkenntnisse daraus. Ja, wir Menschen gehen durch’s Leben, ohne zu wissen, wie gut wir es haben wenn wir nichts haben. ;-). Ich hoffe, deine Hand ist wieder okay.
    Liebe Grüsse. Ernst

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    1. Thank you so much, Ernest! I agree with you completely…and we should all count our blessings every day! I have some residual pain in my hand when I use it certain ways…but I know I am healing more every day! Thank you for caring…many blessings to you! 🙂

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  23. Some people can be so rude and self-absorbed! You just aren’t made that way, and thank the Lord for that! I totally forgot about your tennis matches. Are you still doing those? Let me know when you have time..

    Steve

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      1. I’ve never liked the public restrooms much. I mean I really must be in need before I go to one, even in a nice restaurant!

        🙂

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