I Remember…An Odyssey ~ Alone

This post is a part of a series of writings during a time of deep healing and transformation.  The following are links to the other writings in the series in chronological order:  Introduction & Haiku, The Funny Thing About Truth, The Journey To…, He Said I Have Anger, The Long Sleepless Night, Broken Arrow, Safe, Alone, On The Verge, Shred, The Thread, Vindication, Another Inch…Perhaps a Mile, Emancipation, Forgiveness

*Disclaimer:  Some of this subject matter is sensitive in nature.  Please read and explore in safety.

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Though we’re never truly alone

This is what I need right now

I feel a shift

I feel my soul trying to communicate with me

But there is so much noise competing for my attention

The silence I found in the canyon was truly astounding

And it made me realize that I have cluttered my life

With noise

White noise

Background noise

Ringing

Screaming

Blocking out the sounds that will tell me the secrets

Tell me truth!

My mind and body are altered

It’s true

It’s all part of healing they say

Must work through this

It is necessary

But I can’t help feel that at times I am losing my mind

And I can’t quite decide if that is a good thing…or not?

Is it not this mind that has tried to control every situation

Every person

Every hurt

Every fear?

Is it not this mind

That decided not remembering was the best road to take

It decided the pain would be too great

And I would be better off being kept in the dark

Yes…it is that mind

But I don’t like the dark

I want to be in the light

The light soothes my soul

And it caresses the broken parts of me

Should I not have the opportunity to fully heal

To banish fear

To remember what it is that I am so afraid of

So that I can see if I am actually afraid

Or should I continue to live in this limbo

In the darkness that entombs my mind

Shackles my heart

Exposes my fear

And leaves my body laying broken at the bottom of a well

Dear Angels, guides, God…hear my heart screams

Hold me safe in love’s arms

Feed me and nourish me

Use me for good

H E L P me…

I AM ready

Blessitude

Lorrie ❤

3/29/15

52 thoughts on “I Remember…An Odyssey ~ Alone

    1. Dear John…forgive me I was traveling so I do not know why it is a sad day in Singapore…I send you much love and comfort (I actually have a wave of sadness with tears…but I don’t know why!)

      Thank you my friend…I am healing…and I am being tested at the same time!

      Much love…please be well ❤

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  1. Amen and amen! “Fear not for I am with you: I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.” This passage in Isaiah is what I cling to when I’m lost or afraid. Lorrie, we are all hurting in some way. I don’t think there is ever a time when we aren’t growing in some way, and growth is always a
    painful experience. But the Lord promises to be with us every step of the way. When life gets to be more that I can handle, I begin whispering the name of Jesus over and over and over again and before long His peace prevails. Love, Natalie 🙂 ❤

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    1. Dear, dear Natalie!! Yes!! Words are usually so easy for me. Words are how I have learned to express the emotions that live inside. But I find it hard to thank you for this wonderful response, because it has touched me so deeply!

      I am growing…there is no doubt. And my very recent growth that you are in the midst of reading has prepared me for all that is coming down on me now!! I am strong because I know the Lord is with me every step of the way 🙂 And he has chosen to teach me many lessons at this stage of my life, and I am so grateful!!! I am Blessitude ❤ And I am very thankful to you for your beautiful, loving support!! ♡♡♡

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  2. Dearest lovely Lorrie… HOPE does have roots of life that can stand firm against darkness – its dazzling beacons stay anchored into the memory of the heart… ❤ I'm a darwnist and a cartesian, and I do respect your faith… btw, you may have heard of this terrible human tragedy:
    http://www.nytimes.com/2015/03/28/world/europe/germanwings-crash-andreas-lubitz.html?hp&action=click&pgtype=Homepage&module=first-column-region&region=top-news&WT.nav=top-news

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    1. Thank you dear Me’lanie ♡ Yes hope is remembered…it must live in the heart 🙂 I do know of the terrible story you linked to…so very sad. But I send you lots of love and good energy 🙂

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  3. We shared this journey of choosing to forget. Just as we now share the Light. You have touched my heart deeply.

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  4. Really beautiful, Lorrie! Such big and insightful thoughts pour out of that heart and soul of yours. Keep on sharing! Have a super day,

    ~Steve

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      1. Lorrie, I have supported you and your views for a while now, and I will always be a fan. You have a very good Christian viewpoint on many matters and I hope we can share even more as we go along here.

        Take care and enjoy your day 🙂

        ~Steve

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          1. My goodness, Lorrie, I really hope all is okay with you! You’re one of my few very best friends and I’m always “pulling” for you!

            If you need anything, support, prayers, or to share and talk, I am here! You always have at least that much from me…

            Stay in touch as best you can and God be with you in all things!

            ~Steve

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              1. Okay, my dear, I’m counting on you to fill me in! You have such a loving soul and you know I think the world of you!

                Whenever you need me, I’m here to listen and help as I can. God is with you always, stay close to Him in all things…

                Thinking of you,
                Steve

                Liked by 1 person

  5. Sweet Lorrie I just read your post before this one and this one. How you can put your deep, deep feelings and your experiences into words like you do I have never seen the likes before. Your gift of writing…what an instrument of healing it is not only for you but others. As I read the post before this one I found my thoughts swirling around taking a quick journey of my life and the valleys and mountains I have experienced. They all make us better and wiser. Love, blessings and huge hugs dear, sweet Lorrie

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    1. Hi Maggie! The words are also a gift to me 🙂 I’m so happy you see them that way and your words truly pluck my heart strings! I see now how this journey is all about learning. The key is to lean into love as we traverse the dark times, I think. Everything makes us stronger and ready for the next “phase.” I am in a “phase” feeling bombarded really. But having just gone through this transformation I am so much more well equipped to deal with it!!! I am Blessitude…and you are Blessitude!!! Thank you ♡♡♡

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      1. I could not agree with you more sweet Lorrie. I am just coming out of the feeling overwhelmed “phase” and beginning to feel more like I can do this. We are going to be just fine sweet Lorrie we will keep learning, leaning into love and growing stronger. And yes we both are Blessitude! Love and hugs

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    1. Hi Brad…Thank you my dear friend. I am walking 🙂 And silence has turned into three alarm fires…but I am dealing with it. Sometimes the scary thing about evolving into awareness is we are “capable” to handle MORE!!

      And I was so right to schedule my “series” ahead of time because life did intervene! I will be over soon to catch up with you ♡♡♡

      Liked by 1 person

  6. wow – Lorrie – such beautiful, elegant words – I hope all is well with you and good health. I hope your silence will cherish with laughter, good health and prosperous. I miss you reading your words. May God Bless you!

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    1. Thank you my dear Mino!! Your heart is as big as the universe and I am so grateful for the love you send to me!! I am doing all good things to heal emotionally and physically…it is a process. I am thankful for your support and hope that your life is super!! ❤

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  7. Lorrie, I know exactly how it feels to have noise clouding my thoughts and snuffing out peace. I even wrote a song (not sure if it’s finished yet):
    Drop your thought inside my mind
    Carve your dreams into my heart
    Whisper the words I need to hear
    They silence the screams and noise out there
    Be still at peace to my soul I speak
    Worries and tensions becoming weak
    In the light of your face and no one else
    Wholeness restored, I find myself.
    –I even pray this often when I have my quiet time in the morning. I sit there with my cup of coffee and pray to the ‘Light of the World’ these very words. He’s the one that brings light into my darkness, calms the raging seas in me, gives me peace in place of anxiety. Oh how I love that peace that passes all understanding.
    🙂 ❤

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    1. Staci…I am crying reading these words!!! Your writing is so beautiful and heartfelt!! Yes “peace that passes all understanding!” I wish that for you…I wish that for all humanity!! We can turn down the noise that is inside our mind by turning up the love that is in our soul!!! Much love my friend…I appreciate your soul ♡♡♡

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