When the voices from the past
the ones you thought you turned off
slowly start to seep
like a puddle of blood
ever so slowly
buried in your DNA
it sweeps through your body
and hits your heart
a knock-out punch
you fall back on the ropes
and slide to the ground
reality meets the past
as you climb to your knees
and then you
If you have followed this blog for a long time, then you know how hard I have worked on healing my fractured past. You also know that I have many unfinished projects just waiting in the wings to be birthed.
Over the past three months I have worked really hard to finish my card deck (IF THEN AMEN.) Right after I announced it in my last blog post, I was hit with the biggest bout of insecurity – just like a punch to the gut and it took my breath away!
I have to assume that it happened because I announced it so proudly…
All the old demons raised their heads and went to work on stealing my happiness. I wish I could say that I was able to squash them instantaneously, but I can’t. I let them bother me for a day – maybe a little longer, and then I shut it down!
I asked myself:
- Do I really think those things?
- Do I want to feel this way?
The answer to both was a resounding “NO!”
SO I STOPPED THINKING THAT WAY!
And I got back to work!
I’m happy to say that things are moving ahead, and I will send my files off to the printer TODAY (after one more proof.)
I share this post today because it is sad to me that no matter how much we heal, the abuse we suffered in our past is very real and hard to forget. I also share it because no matter what happened in our past, we control our present.
I dedicate this post to anyone who is about to accomplish a goal that means something to them. I offer my sincere congratulations and a wish that you only hear good, positive thoughts in your head. Remember who you are, and know that it is okay to be proud!