No Animosity…Just Curiosity

 

Borrelia_burgdorferi-cropped
Borrelia Burgdorferi – Lyme Disease Bacteria

 

Could my body be more broken?

I am not sure…

I have done everything I can think of to recover from the assault.

The muscles are tight and tired, the tendons stretched beyond capacity.

The bones are out of alignment and they hurt.

And all of this after I was so completely balanced there was no need for a reboot!

*

What are the lessons to be learned?

Surely, there is a reason for this physical pain…

There is a piece – a tiny sliver of something that has yet to be seen.

It is there, I can feel it now.

I can isolate it and possibly give it a name.

Time to work on the origin…

Time to acknowledge the pain and to free it from my soul.

*

The journey has been long and winding.

I have been shown so much.

I am receptive.

I ask for clarification.

I am so ready to meet this.

I will be gentle.

I have no animosity – just curiosity.

I am not afraid.

I have built a strong secure foundation and I recognize how much I do control.

But I also know the universe and the collective energy has an “impact.”

If only for the reason that we are one and the same.

*
I am creating an environment that is full of love.

That is secure.

I am open to the guides who will help me on this journey.

Love.

Just love and understanding.

White light and crystals.

Prismatic clarity.

 

Blessitude

Lorrie

This poem was written 10/3/12, just over two years ago.  I was in the midst of incredible healing…healing from a physical disease, and healing from emotional scars that I had never properly dealt with.  The two are so connected.

Two years later, I find myself in the midst of a set back.  When my emotional world goes so out of whack that I leave my beautiful state of AWARENESS, I allow my body to feel the stress of the disconnect.  When stress impacts my body, my disease which lies in a dormant state becomes an opportunistic invader and attacks every system in my body.

I have chronic Lyme’s Disease.  It was determined that I probably had it since I was a child…11 years old.  It was not diagnosed until I was 47 years old, when I was bitten by another tick who also carried the parasite Babesia – a malaria-like disease.  Babesiosis almost killed me.

I was treated for four years.  It was no picnic, but I grew in ways that were incredible.  April 2, 2013, was the last time I took medication…I was HEALED!

Until, November 3, 2014.  It is disturbing to admit that all the strange health occurrences I experienced of late is due to a reemergence of the Lyme bacteria in my body.  It is more disturbing to admit that emotional stress is the trigger which woke up the dormant buggers to rage war inside me.

I was shocked and maybe a bit embarrassed by the news.  Shocked because I believed I was completely healed of this horrific disease.  Embarrassed because in hindsight, it all made perfect sense and I couldn’t believe I didn’t recognize it myself.  Then we could discuss the ways I was tempted to abuse myself for allowing it all in the first place.  I say “tempted” because it is a delicate balance, teetering on the edge of love and hope – and shame and blame.

Most days I stay in love and believe that there is much offered here for me to learn.  And I will learn.  And I will heal.  And I pray that I can pass along something that helps others.  Namaste ~ ❤ Lorrie

 

Photo courtesy of en.wikipedia.org

 

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My healing journey on the continuum of "It's all wrong" to "It's all right!" I love art and the creative process, reading, writing, and playing tennis.

89 thoughts on “No Animosity…Just Curiosity

  1. I thank you for finding my page and taking the time to visit, as this gave me the chance to also find you and this wonderful space you have carved out for yourself in the Cybersphere. Who knows how anyone find anyone in this vast electronic web, but I have no doubt that the spiritual realm knows this science far better than we might think. I’m sorry to learn of your discomfort and to know that all I can do is add my prayers to the many that I am sure are already being offered up on your behalf, but if you have no objections to them, they are yours to have. I am, as they say, following your page, and so I shall be popping back in from time to time to see how your battle goes and to add whatever strength to that battle that I am able to. Until such time, please stay strong, and know that one more these days, thinks positively of you and you health. Brian

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    1. What a super comment!! I’m so grateful that we were put in each other’s path…and like you, I believe that is orchestrated by Spirit 🙂 Thank you for your prayers…accepted wholeheartedly which much appreciation. I look forward to our connection here in cyberspace!

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  2. Wow, Lorrie! There are no accidents and while I’m catching up on my reading, I find myself here. Thank you for the enlightenment on Lyme Disease. That balance with stress is so crucial to health and so hard to maintain. I understand. Bells dizziness gets so much worse with even the slightest stress and I’ve had a bit lately. I too try to educate my readers about the miserable virus that causes Shingles or Bells Palsy. They thought I had Lyme Disease at first but tests showed otherwise. My daughter has Fibromyalgia so we are all too familiar with chronic conditions. There is always a gift in it but it is still hard to maintain any semblance of what normal looks like to others. The blogging community has been the most helpful place I’ve found in all of this. Thank you for this post. It helps me a lot.

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    1. Those words warm my heart! Thank you! I’m sorry that you and your daughter suffer chronic conditions…as you know…I can truly understand your pain and the trials it creates. I had a slight palsy on my left side…not noticeable by looking at but I could feel it…and I couldn’t whistle!! I don’t mean to cause confusion…but there are MANY false negative results on regular Lyme’s tests. I just offer this if your condition worsens and you are not responding to treatment. There are LLMD’S (Lyme literate medical doctors) and they send blood work to a very specialized lab.

      I wish for whatever stress is in your life to abate…and for you to walk in peace and love!! Thank you so much for your comfort…I am so grateful to be here and to meet super people like you!!! ❤

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