CONSEQUENCES ~ Choices

picsart_11-10-01-56-23

It is a choice

There is no other way that you can state it

Calling it a choice

Implies fault and condemnation

For it truly is in your hands

Whether you stay and take the hit

Or if you keep yourself so far out of the inner circle of abusive energy

That there would be no way for it to touch you

I know deep in my heart

That the only thing that exists for me in these “pseudo” relationships

Is fear, pain, and then guilt and shame

So one has to stop and wonder why

I would allow myself to be in this cycle of dysfunction

And the only possible answer is

That I crave what these relationships

COULD BE

What they are

SUPPOSED TO BE

What I

WANT THEM TO BE

And so I banish any notion that things could never change

And I believe that because I have changed

That there is the possibility that they have too

And every damn time I go in

Like a puppy dog wagging my tail

And I get kicked!

And every time

I nurse my wounds

and say,

“I’m never going back in there!”

And then I always do!

I hope this time is different…

Blessitude!

Lorrie โค

11/23/16

POSTS IN THE SERIES

(Links will become active after each writing is posted)

1). Consequences ~ The Fishing Expedition

2). Consequences ~ The Fallout

3). Consequences ~ The Bottom Line

4). Consequences ~ The Continuum of Light

5). Consequences ~ I Am Not Completely Unscathed

6). Consequences ~ Choices

7). Consequences ~ THANKSGIVING

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My healing journey on the continuum of "It's all wrong" to "It's all right!" I love art and the creative process, reading, writing, and playing tennis.

35 thoughts on “CONSEQUENCES ~ Choices

  1. Hi Lorrie, I have faced similar situations with family, wanting and hoping that I can smooth things over and have some kind of relationship with these people who are my closest family. Impossible they see my love and kindness as a weakness and use it to their full advantage. I decided many years ago I had enough of being their battering ram and walked away from them. I did not need my love to be pushed into my face. I had friends who treated me like a real family. Once walking away the strength to be more resilient grew. I no longer tolerate anyone’s badness. The choice we have to make has to be for our best interest always, by this I am not inferring to become selfish but to look after our own well being emotionally, physically and spiritually.

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    1. First I have to apologize for the delay in responding to you! I could not access my comments from my phone and I am traveling…so I could read the beginning of your comment but could see the whole thing…or respond!
      Thank you so much for adding your experience here…you have helped me greatly and I am sure you have helped others also! I just love that you took your power back…because that is what it feels like to me. And I am new to this…but it does feel like my sense of self…and self preservation…is growing. I know that some people would never understand how a person could let this kind of behavior go on so long…I barely understand it myself!! But the letting go is a process…and the growth as an individual is so exciting! Thank you so much for your support…and I love your words, “I no longer tolerate anyone’s badness.” That is my new mantra!! โ™กโ™ก

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Dear Lorrie, I really do fancy the artwork you choose to accompany your pieces. I think you are right, we learn from the past (and perhaps rather than thinking of them as mistakes they are in fact lessons learned) and then there will always be a next time. And until then, continue to take care of yourself as amongst the chaos you are able to juggle being in the moment quite gracefully. Love, Harlon

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    1. Thank you, Harlon! I can’t take full credit for the art…I used a photograph I took and then just used different filters in an art program. But I love the way they turned out and I have been thinking of putting them together in one post and asking my readers which one they think I should “try” to paint! And then, depending on how it came out, or maybe not matter how it came out, I would post the result. The only reason I have not done it yet is because I am so backed up with all the things I am working on…and life in general that it would be hard to fit it in. So maybe I will surprise you soon ๐Ÿ˜‰
      And thank you so much for your heartfelt support…it means the world to me. Yes…it am walking through it all…keep moving…one step in front of the other. Muchnlove, friend โ™ก

      Liked by 1 person

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