In the scheme of things
You only have so much room
Fill it with good things
As a life-long co-dependent personality who had to “fix” and help everyone in my world in order to think that I was okay, the journey to freedom and self love has been hard fought, and yet sweet!
I admit that in the beginning I erred on the side of going in the complete opposite direction. And that’s okay because it is a learning experience…right? We have to understand both sides of any situation before we settle somewhere in the middle.
I always look for strategies that can help me recognize something sooner so I don’t waste a lot of time going in the rabbit hole of pain and self-abuse.
I recently had an epiphany that perhaps could have come sooner, but better late than never. Here is an excerpt from a letter to myself:
“It’s a journey to your freedom. It is fine for you to be a full fledged, self-reliant, strong ass woman who doesn’t need any permission or praise from those who want more from you than they want for you.”
And there it is in a nutshell! Read that again…
…people who want more FROM YOU than they want FOR YOU!
I spent a life-time in those kinds of relationships and I suppose they filled the purpose of delivering the pain and abuse that I thought I deserved. But I am different now. And as I change my energy and my beliefs about my self-worth, I see the landscape of my relationships change as well. I see kinder, loving, give and take relations replace the narcissistic abusive ones.
The other truth I have noticed is that as you make yourself less available to the would-be life suckers, they move on to someone else who thinks their worth is tied up with helping, or fixing the narcissists pain.
In the past I would have viewed leaving these relationships as selfish. Now I see the needle on the barometer of self-love move to the right, and I feel really good about it.
So If you are not sure that a relationship is working for you, ask this simple question; “Does this person want more FROM ME than they want FOR ME?”
The truth can hurt, but the sooner you extricate yourself from a one-sided relationship, the sooner you can heal and move on to the kinds of relationships that foster kindness, love, and support.
I promise that you can change your life by making room for the good things!
And there it is in a nutshell! Read that aga