IT’S NOT PERSONAL!

Purple-spindly-flowers

Three words

I hear them over and over

I say them over and over

I figure if I hear them long enough

Maybe it will sink in

Maybe I can believe it

And once I believe it

Maybe the words

Won’t cut like a machete

Taking pieces of my heart

With every swing

IT’S NOT PERSONAL

But it sure feels personal to me

And as I’m not in a position

To extract myself from the situation

I know I have to find a way to survive

With all my pieces intact

So it’s time for me to say

IT’S NOT PERSONAL

As I put strategies into play

To take care of myself

Blessitude!

Lorrie ❤

6/3/2018

So here’s a personal power issue: Sometimes you have to turn off your heart and lead with your brain!

I’ll be honest, it is not an easy thing for me to do. I have always been heart centered and made most of my decisions in life with that big ol’ beating, blood pumping heart of mine. If it didn’t feel right in my chest area, I didn’t do it.

It is unfortunate, but there are situations in life that you just can’t walk away from no matter how challenging it may be to your emotional wellbeing. And the real challenge may not be in dealing with the situation as much as it is dealing with yourself because you have to deal with the situation!

So I find my personal power by telling my heart IT IS NOT PERSONAL and that it is okay for it to take a break. Once the heart and feelings are out of the way the brain kicks in and makes decisions based on facts, not emotions.

Look, I’m not saying it’s easy or that I am an expert, heck, I’m barely a beginner. But I do know that allowing myself to be continually crushed by a situation that has to be taken care of doesn’t come close to taking care of myself. And that is progress!

So I stand in my power and lead with my brain. I vow to believe that it’s not personal, but I tuck my heart away in a little puffy cocoon for safety. I do the very best I can do every single day, and last but not least, I understand that I am in it for the long haul because I couldn’t live with myself if I bailed.

Sending you all strength and courage to deal with those tough situations!

Sweet Blessings ❤

Lorrie

 

Posted by

My healing journey on the continuum of "It's all wrong" to "It's all right!" I love art and the creative process, reading, writing, and playing tennis.

61 thoughts on “IT’S NOT PERSONAL!

  1. Whether you choose your head or your heart, or feel or think you are divided and can separate the two, you are always one with love, and deserving of the love you need to give yourself! Many blessings dear friend! 💗🌸 How could your choices not be right? 🤗🌞💗😇🐻

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Awww…Ka!!! Thanks for the hug to my heart!!! ❤
      I understand what you say. It is a challenge and my post goes against everything I really think and believe. I just have to take the "feeling" part of my heart out of the situation. LOVE is always the answer. And I really am finding ways to take care of myself.
      Much love and respect to you, beautiful soul! Thank you for our beautiful connection…I am Blessitude!!
      ❤ ❤

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Making such a decision is certainly not an easy one for those of us that have a heart that wants to rule. But sweet Lorrie you can do it when it needs to be done and I know you will. Hope you had a wonderful weekend and the upcoming week will be even more wonderful. Thanks for stopping by today. Love, hugs and blessings.

    Like

    1. Thank you Maggie! I can feel your love…and that is a wonderful thing!!
      I can do it…I know I can too. Life can be a challenge, as I know your are aware. But when we get through the hard parts with everything intact we find incredible treasures…just as you are my friend 💜💜

      Liked by 1 person

  3. As long as you’re human insults and rude nasty horrible remarks cut to the bone. We have a choice on how to respond. Sometimes I confront the person other times I walk away. You gotta pick your battles. Many times silence and or walking away is the best response. Sometimes it’s not worth it to get into argument. The person is not worth your words. You don’t want to lower yourself to their levels of ignorance.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks, DeBorah!! It is hard to not engage when you feel hurt…but you are correct. And that is what I mean…to use my brain to see the communication for what it is and to choose to walk away…or at least not be cut to the bone.
      Hope you and Stephen are doing well…at least the winter is behind You!
      Blessings 😁

      Liked by 1 person

  4. Sweet Lorrie, you speak as if you know my life. There are certain aspects of my life that I just will not walk away from because of the dire consequences if I do. Yet in doing so, I am subjected to some very perverse and extremely dark energy that literally tears me to pieces. I know this is not personal but it sure feels it. And because of the patterns that I do see I make plans now and I tell myself now, that I will walk through this fire and I will remain intact. And when the time does come, and it shall, when I do have the opportunity to change those aspects in my life that are hurtful and wrong, that too shall happen. In the meantime when the blasts do come, I tend to shut down and then in a few days time I get reorientated to my Heart through my flowers and in the forest. I send you the biggest hugs as possible, dear friend, because I know exactly where you are coming from! I would not wish this on anyone…. Is this not making us stronger and better in many many ways? I know it is me although I would not want my life to be like this believe you me. I extend my LOVE and my prayers to you that someday your Heart will be able to beat according to you without any pain present in your immediate life. Much Love to you this Blessed day! 💕🌹💕

    Like

    1. Ah! Oh, Amy😟 Real tears, my friend, not only from my eyes but from my heart.
      I am amazed Amy…it seems like we have such incredibly similar lives in so many ways. Like You, I would not wish this on any person, and yet I can not walk away. Many people say they could…and maybe they could. I just know myself well enough to know that is not an option. The real trick here is to walk through it and not allow it to cause damage. For me, it seems, that is to take my heart out of it and approach it like a job.
      I send you so much love…and I am grateful for our connection…more than I can say!! You are so right about being restored by your art and nature. I just today sat on the beach…and even swam in the ocean for the first time in…oh…too many years to count. It was beautiful and incredibly restorative😁
      Thanks, Amy…my heart is with you…and if you ever need to talk…I am ALWAYS here💜💜

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Just knowing there is another woman who walks similar roads as I do with HONOR makes my Heart smile. Taking your Heart out of the equation I don’t think is possible with either one of us. The goal has been for me to rise above the harsh environment and stay detached. I’ve succeeded ( to a point) and know the days I must exit this house to put distance between the raging inferno and myself. It seems as if those whose Hearts are not happy and fear Love, do their best to bring those who are happy and who do know Love down to their level. No. That will not happen. I am here as well, dear friend. IF you ever need a shoulder or an ear to bring validation to your life, I am here. No one but you can make your decisions. I applaud you your choices, tough as they are. Your words … “The trick here is to walk through it and not allow it to cause damage” is exactly what I said …. rise above and stay detached. Brava for learning this extremely difficult lesson!! (((HUGS))) and MUCH LOVE!!! 💚💚💚

        Like

        1. Ah! Amy. Thanks so much. Your brave heart is so full of compassion…I can feel it. Thank you for the offer and I send you so much love and empathy.
          The thing I find amazing is, no matter how far I have come and how much work I have accomplished on this spiritual journey, I sometimes find myself right down there in that nasty energy and I can’t even believe that I went there!!
          I continue to be aware…every single day…and to make sure that I keep my side of the street clean!! And my sister always says, “Detach with love!” Just like you…”rise above and stay detached!”
          Big ol’ hugs to you!! We are so capable, Amy!!
          💜

          Liked by 1 person

          1. Our tolerance is only so much, Lorrie. We are both also very human. When the nasties start I would love to loose all self-control and sling the nasties right back, which I am very capable of doing. Yet IF I choose to do this, my energy plummets and my “zen zone” disappears. I too choose to keep my side of the street clean and happy. It’s an attitude I’ve developed and maintain. It’s also very important to involve yourself in things you love, like going to the beach. The hardest step is actually going …. I know that one in spades. Today for example I am going to the gym and to the library to get more good books. AND I plan on editing some fantastic pictures I took yesterday in order to show all who come to my blog those very pictures. Yes we are very capable! What we are experiencing is only a blink of an eye in the overall picture. Stay strong and “high”. (((HUGS)))! 😘😘😘

            Like

            1. Thanks beautiful soul💜 Just got back from yoga…ahhhhh! It is a very new concept for me to take care of myself…so many years of adding to the abuse. I like this WAY BETTER!! 😉
              I’m so grateful to you and it’s like I wish this on you but it sure is nice to know that someone understands first hand!
              Here’s to keeping our energy good…clean…”high!”
              Many sweet blessings for a wonderful week 💜

              Liked by 1 person

              1. Keep up with the yoga! Good for you! When you learn to take care of you, things change. I also want to clarify that abuse in any form is wrong. I am in no way condoning that anyone should be exposed to abuse. That being said, there are circumstances in my life that I will not turn my back on for if I do it is a matter of life and death for many. There have been stipulations made by me that if certain aspects are not improved when the time comes that affords me to change those aspects, I will change them to the degree that gives me the dreams I do have. No one deserves to be abused. No one, Lorrie. The choices we make are ours alone. I also believe strongly what I focus on, THAT is what my life becomes. I focus on Good, on Light, on Love, on Compassion, on Beauty, on Truth. The more I focus and become those things, the more my life, all of life, mirrors those things back to me. And for reasons none of us understands, some of us have been put into situations for Lessons for US to learn. In order to move past what we learned when young, we must learn to undo those patterns that have every purpose to destroy us. The more you focus on YOUR well-being, the changes in YOUR life will astound you in ways you never saw coming. I know. I’m living it now ….. ☺️

                Like

  5. I’m reminded of the book, The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz. The second agreement is “Don’t take anything personally.” Easier said than done, as we know. I think the alternative is recognizing that the thing that’s hard to take is really about the other person’s issues. Of course they do affect us. I know I’ve been a sensitive (heart centered) person my whole life and this has sometimes caused me pain. When overwhelmed by emotions, and in a situation that I could not escape, like a job setting where I have to work with someone and don’t want to cry in front of people (or run away) I have imagined myself as a totally logical Vulcan from Star Trek. It’s gotten me through some tough situations. But I love your expression “lead with my brain,” even better. It’s like your brain, your logical/rational mind is PROTECTING your sweet and loving heart which needs to be protected. It’s completely okay to take a break from stressful situations and people. Do take care of yourself, my friend. Take care of that wonderful, precious heart of yours.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Ah! I LOVE THE VULCAN THING!!! 😁😁 Oh…I could picture you standing there taking on the pose…maybe even seeing your ears get a little pointy!!😁😁 Thanks, Joanna. I hear what you are saying and believe me I’ve come too far in this journey to fall into old patterns of allowing myself to be hurt and abused. The terrible thing is this person doesn’t mean it…I KNOW this is true…but it doesn’t take the sting out of it…you know?
      I appreciate your heartfelt response and it is this kind of support that helps so much. I can do this 😉
      Hope you have a wonderful week! 💜

      Liked by 2 people

  6. From 1 empath to another, I can totally relate to what you’re saying. And I also know that there are situations in my life I can’t run from either, because I’ve decided to be there for people, and not run. So, it’s my choice to protect myself whenever I feel vulnerable and hurt. And figure out how to not take it personally. I’m familiar with Don Miguel Ruiz, and I love that book, but, easier said than done. Still working on the “Don’t take it personally” agreement! if I ever figure out, I will let you know. Thank you for your honest and thought provoking post.

    Like

    1. Please don’t forget to tell me!!😉 Yes…I read that book years ago and to date have not figured out the taking it personally thing!
      I’m not exactly sure how to even accomplish what I said…as I am sure you are aware…it is just about impossible to take the heart out of it. I have been physically acting like my hands are pulling my heart out of my body and placing it in a (very special to me) bowl of crystals for safe keeping before I have to deal with this situation. Seems a bit odd…but it has been moderately successful.
      Thanks so much for adding your thoughts and energy here. I send you love and courage to deal with the hard times.
      💜

      Liked by 1 person

  7. I have been away from the world of blogs for a very long time. My work schedule has recently changed allowing me to re-enter.

    I am saddened to hear that you are in a situation with this type of conflict…the heart and brain.

    I am glad you are resting in letting the brain do what it must. I am doing something similar. There is a quote I like. I hope it blesses you.

    Love,
    Theresa

    “[…] I grew up out of that strange, dreamy childhood of mine and went into the world of reality. I met with experiences that bruised my spirit – but they never harmed my ideal world. That was always mine to retreat into at will. I learned that that world and the real world clashed hopelessly and irreconcilably; and I learned to keep them apart so that the former might remain for me unspoiled. I learned to meet other people on their own ground since there seemed to be no meeting place on mine. I learned to hide the thoughts and dreams and fancies that had no place in the strife and clash of the market place. I found that it was useless to look for kindred souls in the multitude; one might stumble on such here and there, but as a rule it seemed to me that the majority of people lived for the things of time and sense alone and could not understand my other life. So I piped and danced to other people’s piping – and held fast to my own soul as best I could.”
    ― L.M. Montgomery

    Like

    1. You have crossed my mind so many times! It’s wonderful to hear from you and I hope that you are well…really well!!
      I know I am super sensitive at the moment but your words have struck a chord to my heart and my tears are a welcome release.
      This quote is amazing and so apropos. Thank you for finding something that could comfort me in such a vulnerable, sad time.
      I know that God has a plan for Me, and I have total faith that this road I am traveling will prove to be fulfilling in ways I can’t even imagine.
      Please tell me, Theresa, that you are well and that you are navigating your own journey and that light surrounds you in a cocoon of love! I really am happy to see you and grateful doesn’t seem to cover how I feel.
      Many sweet blessings to you, friend 💜

      Liked by 1 person

      1. “Please tell me, Theresa, that you are well and that you are navigating your own journey and that light surrounds you in a cocoon of love! ”

        Yes. Yes. Yes! ❤ 🙂

        The thing that shattered my heart has yet to be restored…has still not been repaired…and my heart is passionately longing for restoration…not pining as often as it had been, but yes, passionately longing. However, I cannot tell you how many new friends I have made locally who continually build me up with their love. I think I have also been enabled to recognize love being extended to me more readily than I used to recognize it.

        I just can't get over it!

        It is well with my soul! 🙂

        I am praying much will happen soon that will soothe your heart and fill it with joy during this season where you are needing to keep the heart quiet, and that doors might open to you that would allow your heart to express itself. ❤

        Like

        1. Ah! Giant tears!! For You, for Me, for happiness and for longing, for keeping a heart quiet, and for letting it sing with joy!!!!! 😁
          Thank you, Theresa 💜 It’s all good!
          I am so happy you can recognize the love that is extended to you…what a wonderful world! 💜💜

          Liked by 1 person

  8. Learning to detach was one of the hardest lessons for me to learn.. I Still have issues with it Lorrie, We heart centred BEings who live from heart energy and our intuition find it difficult, So well done in standing in your own power and learning to detach ..
    I hold the thought at times that we have to be cruel to be kind.. Not meaning we are cruel, but sometimes we just have to be more matter of fact and say things as they are, rather than trying to please every body all of the time, while hurting ourselves..
    So I am proud of you..
    Sending continued loved and Blessings my friend..
    Take care of yourself.. Mega Hugs Sue ❤ ❤ ❤

    Like

    1. Hi Sue! Thanks so much for your take on this. I looked forward to what you might say as I know you feel so much of your world with your heart. It really is difficult to “detach” isn’t it? My sister keeps telling me “detach with love.” I am a work in progress, Sue. This is a hard one, but I’ve faced hard things before 😉
      Thanks so much for stopping by and for your kind words. You always touch my heart 💜
      Many sweet blessings!!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Yes it is hard, and for anyone to say it isn’t they have not really understood the depth of our emotions and attachments we who are empathic feel.. Its so easy, to say detach.. I know I have tried to cut cords, but the threads were woven deep into our BEing, and we can spend a life time unpicking them.
        And you may think you cleared them all out when all of a sudden something triggers the surfacing of another thread than need to be unpicked as we backtrack to its root cause..
        So dear Lorrie.. I fully appreciate your journey.. And the courage it takes.. ❤ For it is Personal.. For it is only WE who can travel the path as we discover exactly who we are.. ❤
        Love to you dear Lorrie.. Know you are held in my heart. ❤

        Like

        1. So wonderful, Sue! Yes, the chords are very difficult to sever and have a strange way of never really being cut.
          I am grateful to you for speaking such truth and for knowing exactly what it feels like.
          I am doing well and I know that all of this makes me stronger.
          Thanks for taking the journey with me.
          Many blessings 💜

          Liked by 1 person

          1. Yes look at it is as this.. Those threads that remain within that we find hard to extract, and cut, serve to bind us to become stronger.. For they hold in their teachings deep within that no other method could have taught us.

            Like

            1. Wow! Yes…Sue!! It’s so true. Sometimes the deep message…lesson…can only be taught with deep feeling. I know this is truth and yet while in the midst of the struggle it is easy to only FEEL the struggle…and not the lesson. Perhaps, if we were more open to the learning…the struggle would not have to be as real…?
              Hmmmmmm…….
              😁💜
              Have a beautiful weekend, Sue!

              Liked by 1 person

              1. Yes, we often do not see the lesson, because we are caught up in the pain.. I know from looking back at my own nervous breakdown for instance.. I went through and put my family through an appalling time of it, As I had allowed many things which I suppressed to build up, as I took on more and more responsibilities in the business world of textiles I was then involved in.. At the same time family issuers with my ‘Mother’ came to a head and other factors all rolled into one Major Crisis.. I tried holding all the strings together within my own mental world.. Trying to be the be all and end all to everyone.. The Universe thought to teach me a lesson of the importance of one little word.. To say ‘NO’.. And put self first was not being selfish.. So it thought to snap all of those strings at once..
                Which left me adrift for a time.. But when looking back, I see this was the only way the Universe had to change my path.. So Lorrie, Look deeper into the reasons of those lessons.. and ask yourself Why you hang onto pain and wounds.. And know there is really no need to struggle at anything when we let the struggle within Go..
                Sending Tons of love my friend.. You are So Strong.. Be who you wish now to be.. xxx ❤

                Like

              2. Ah! Sue. Thank you so much for sharing such personal…painful events. I know it is hard to do sometimes, but I know that when I see someone like you bare your soul…speak your truth, it helps me in ways that are profound! And that is why when I teeter on a fence about whether to share something on my blog, I fall on the side of sharing because in my heart I know it will help someone…even if it’s just one someone! So truly…thank YOU!
                I think (hope) I am getting better at releasing the pain of my past. But it really is like an onion 😉 peel off one layer and the next thing you know BAMM…there is something new! The really cool thing is that I have been taking such good care of myself physically…mentally…taking time for me…being in nature as much as possible to replenish my soul. I see this as a loving kindness for myself…something that was missing for many, many years! I am not an expert…YET!!😉
                Thank You, dear Sue! I hope that today is a beauty that wraps you in peace and that tender moments of love create your day!💜💜💜

                Like

  9. Yesterday, I heard the story of a French singer, who walked through a Paris park, only to become emotionally undone.

    Though her English is perfect, her maiden tongue is French, and it became an imperative for her to express the overflow of her heart in her maiden tongue, in a song…

    The translated line of her song sizzled like the embers of a fire lighting into flame – even for me – , “During storms, this garden will be closed.”

    Your post seems to echo this very same cry…

    Like

    1. Wow! I don’t quite know how to respond to this…
      My heart is touched (the very one I am taking out of the equation) and it feels so profound…especially with the reference to the garden!
      Yes, I believe that is exactly what I am crying!
      Thank you for your lovely words that are so poetic. Thank you for caring. Thank you for leaving your footprint here😊
      💜

      Liked by 1 person

      1. God knows us better than we know ourselves. He says, “Above everything else, guard your hearts, for out of it flows the wellspring of life.”

        We are never to view ourselves more highly than we aught… We inevitably come to wrong conclusions, and suffer in ways He never intended us to suffer.

        That’s what my heart heard when I was riveted by that song I mentioned, by the Canadian Artist, Beatrice Martin, a.k.a. Coeur de Pirate, whose 2015 album, “Roses” contains the words I mentioned (taken from a park sign in Paris)…”During Storms, This Garden Will Be Closed.”

        p.s. “We wrestle not with flesh and blood…”

        Liked by 1 person

        1. I love that you said, “That’s what my heart heard.” I sometimes think the heart is an entity in and of itself…it feels, hears, knows, speaks…and we are wise to be aware of it at all times!
          I got the same feeling I did the first time I read your words, and perhaps even more understanding. It feels like a strong message to me, especially being that you have written it twice. Thank You!
          A huge storm lightened it’s load just a little bit today, like a pressure cooker let off a little steam, and I am so grateful for That!
          Life is an amazing journey and it expands the more we are willing to allow it.
          Wishing you a beautiful weekend…lots of love and light ☀️💜

          Liked by 1 person

  10. Great thoughts here, Lorrie! Sometimes it may be good to step a bit further from the situation, to be an observer for a while. I usually gain new insights by doing that. Much love ❤

    Like

    1. Aw…thanks, Tiny😁 Yes…perfect advice for a few reasons…one of which is proximity. If I’m a bit removed from the energy, it’s easier to take a breath and respond…instead of react!
      Hope you are well 💜

      Liked by 1 person

  11. I’m reminded of the line in A Course of Love where Jesus notes that for some, who have led by the heart, they will turn to the mind at times to find wholeness, and others, who have been rooted in the mind, will turn to the heart. We need them both of course… Sometimes our feelings are not truly heart feelings I think, which can be hard to understand, but I think some feelings are the product of certain patterns or self-concepts that may not always serve us. And so the logic of the mind can help us to see that sometimes, too. I’ve always felt if we feed the mind the truth of the heart, and then let it start from there, it can lead to some powerful conclusions! But the mind in the absence of the heart can come to some scary ones… That’s why we have to integrate I think…

    Blessings, my friend!
    Michael

    Like

    1. Ah! Michael 😁 Thanks so much for your take on this. And I couldn’t agree more about how scary the mind could be without the anchor of the heart! Thinking about this, I realize that I spent way too many years allowing the mind to have more control while the heart was numb and had built a wall around it.
      I believe that I have done a good job integrating the two, but there are times when in the interest of self preservation I MUST let my heart take a back seat.
      It’s all good. I have gone through a scary patch and finally have some things in place to help take care of Mom. Doing it all alone for so long has taken it’s toll but I feel as though some of the air has been released and I can breathe again!
      Much love to you, my friend. I hope that you and yours are well and thriving…and of course creating!!😉

      Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

w

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.