This year has been one of huge adjustment. My life has been the most different it has ever been. Some days I grew, some days I cried, and some days I felt so guilty.
So many people told me that eventually I would feel grateful for the time I spent with The Momma at the end of her life. I had to get past the feelings of guilt and inadequacy, because I swear to you I was not perfect. I was human and I sometimes let the moment win.
But in the end, I have so much gratitude…I am BLESSITUDE…because I did everything I could possibly do and I did the best I could do at that time. I have grown so much.
The following is a reprint of a post/poem I had written about my mom in 2014. I offer it up as a gift to her…and to all daughters (and sons) who feel the same way.
Much love, and many blessings dear people. May you always feel love <3
You mean so much to me
it is hard to put symbols on the page that can match the intensity of my love
You are my friend
and you are the best kind because you don’t just tell me what I want to hear
but you love me unconditionally when I make the huge mistakes
mistakes you saw coming from a mile away
You are my teacher since before I can remember
but the best lessons I’ve learned from you
were the ones you taught by example
the example of strength & courage
the example of perseverance & adaptability
the example of creativity & resourcefulness
the example of integrity & honesty
the example of hospitality & kindness
the example of love & vulnerability
You walked with me through good times & bad
through pain & illness
joy & happiness
You took this ride with me
and there was never a time that I couldn’t find you
You have always been there
On this Mother’s day 2014, I honor the person who gave me birth…who gave me life. She is traveling in this earth school and has been given much to learn. She has faced true adversity and come out the other end a stronger, kinder, more loving individual. She is my rock, my stability, in a world that has not always been kind.
She is brave and she is a survivor in the truest sense of the word. I owe my decency to her. I owe my empathic nature to her. I owe my creativity to her. I owe, and dedicate my life to her. I love you Mom…
AND I MISS YOU SO MUCH