My Mom Left for Heaven One Year Ago Today

The-Momma's-Favorite-Flowers

This year has been one of huge adjustment. My life has been the most different it has ever been. Some days I grew, some days I cried, and some days I felt so guilty.

So many people told me that eventually I would feel grateful for the time I spent with The Momma at the end of her life. I had to get past the feelings of guilt and inadequacy, because I swear to you I was not perfect. I was human and I sometimes let the moment win.

But in the end, I have so much gratitude…I am BLESSITUDE…because I did everything I could possibly do and I did the best I could do at that time. I have grown so much.

The following is a reprint of a post/poem I had written about my mom in 2014. I offer it up as a gift to her…and to all daughters (and sons) who feel the same way.

Much love, and many blessings dear people. May you always feel love ❤

Blessitude!

Lorrie ❤

12/12/2019

You mean so much to me

it is hard to put symbols on the page that can match the intensity of my love

You are my friend

and you are the best kind because you don’t just tell me what I want to hear

but you love me unconditionally when I make the huge mistakes

mistakes you saw coming from a mile away

You are my teacher since before I can remember

but the best lessons I’ve learned from you

were the ones you taught by example

the example of strength & courage

the example of perseverance & adaptability

the example of creativity & resourcefulness

the example of integrity & honesty

the example of hospitality & kindness

the example of love & vulnerability

You walked with me through good times & bad

through pain & illness

joy & happiness

You took this ride with me

and there was never a time that I couldn’t find you

You have always been there

My friend

My teacher

My Mother

Blessitude

Lorrie

5/11/14

On this Mother’s day 2014, I honor the person who gave me birth…who gave me life.  She is traveling in this earth school and has been given much to learn.  She has faced true adversity and come out the other end a stronger, kinder, more loving individual.  She is my rock, my stability, in a world that has not always been kind.

She is brave and she is a survivor in the truest sense of the word.  I owe my decency to her.  I owe my empathic nature to her.  I owe my creativity to her.  I owe, and dedicate my life to her.  I love you Mom…

AND I MISS YOU SO MUCH

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My healing journey on the continuum of "It's all wrong" to "It's all right!" I love art and the creative process, reading, writing, and playing tennis.

47 thoughts on “My Mom Left for Heaven One Year Ago Today

    1. Hi Brad. I scheduled this post because I didn’t know if I would be too emotional. I thought it was set for a little later…but then got notice it posted.
      Thank you for your loving care and connection. I am good. I miss her terribly and almost feel a relief that this year has gone by…the first cycle of “everythings” without her.
      Sweet blessings my friend🌝💜

      Liked by 1 person

  1. This is simply beautiful 🙂 What a wonderful way to celebrate her life and the loving relationship you shared with her. It’s truly a treasure. I don’t have a relationship with my mom. Thankfully I am close to each of my 4 children, for that my gratitude is endless.
    Take care of yourself today.

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    1. Thank you!!! Yes…I am very aware of the necessity for self-care right now. I am happy you have such a great connection with your children…and a little sad about your mom…but I also understand that it is necessary sometimes. Sending wonderful wishes of love and light back to you. Thanks for adding your energy here 💜

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Dear Lorrie,
    thank you for your words.
    I have lost my father a month ago and have the “first cycle of “everythings” without him” … still in front of me.
    I hope the good memories make yours and mine way easier and lift me over the cliffs like you.
    I send you my thanks and a lot of strength for the rest of the time without your mom. ❤

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    1. Hi Vera. My heart goes out to you…please know I send you a giant hug to comfort you. Yes…you are starting the journey of “firsts”…I send you peace to roll with it all. I have been feeling very close to my mom…or should I say that my mom feels very close to me. I am so grateful for the ling time we had together and that I don’t have many regrets. Many blessings, Vera. It’s okay to cry when you need to cry. 💜

      Liked by 1 person

    1. Hi Collene…sorry it took me so long to respond…I just found you in spam! I am grateful for your words…and she was a great one. I miss her every day, but I feel her in a different way.
      Many Sweet Blessings to you during this special time. Thanks for leaving a piece of you here 🙂

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    1. Hi Ka! I have felt so much closer to her over the past few weeks…possibly she was helping me usher this anniversary in.
      Thank you for always saying something that speaks directly to my soul! I am grateful for all of life…and for you being in it🌝💜
      So funny…I was just going to send a greeting for you and your baby’s “first” Christmas…and then I thought that you were going through a year of “firsts” also. Some at the beginning…somebat the end…all relevant…all to be treasured.
      Much love, Ka💜💜

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Dear Lorrie, I feel for you. It is the anniversaries and special events that seem somewhat void when we’ve lost someone we loved. I think the best we can do is to remember, to honour, and I think that is what you’ve done in your stirring and beautiful words. With you, Harlon

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    1. Thanks my friend. I know you feel what I speak of and I am so full of gratitude to read your words. We both have that feeling of loss and it is hard sometimes to be able to put it into words. Sometimes just connecting with someone who knows…is enough. I thank you. I think of you often…and I send sweet blessings…ALWAYS! 💜

      Liked by 1 person

  4. Beautiful post and tribute to your mother. I love the poem…brought a tear to my eye. I lost my mother 30 years ago this January and my Dad earlier this year. I feel blessed to have been part of a loving family (4 of us) and loving parents!! My blessings to you this Holiday Season. God Bless…she is smiling down at you Lorrie!

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    1. Ah! Kirt…thank you so much for your compassion and kindness. It’s all a part of life, albeit a difficult part. And it is not something we get a lot of practice with.
      My condolences for you losses and a pure heart connection of love to you.
      Merry Christmas, Kirt! May you and your family know peace and love😁

      Liked by 1 person

  5. I so feel for you, dear Lorrie. I’m just starting a year to come without my mum. She passed to a far better world 24 days ago. So let’s unite our hearts and celebrate their lives and the living legacies they left for us. Heartfelt blessings coming to you, my dear friend. Onwards and Upwards 💜💚💛💙🧡

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    1. Ah! Isabella!! My heart is holding your heart in this time of fresh loss. I am so sorry for your loss…I know exactly what it feels like and I keep you wrapped in love. Yes…let’s keep our energy together.
      This will be a strange year for you…I can not lie. The most important thing is to be open to whatever you feel. I am here for you…any time you need. You can contact me on my contact page…the email will go directly to me.
      Sending you healing energy…much live and light 💜

      Liked by 1 person

  6. I have a feeling your mom loves this poem and she’s proud of you. Her love continues as does yours. Sending peace and blessings to you in this new year and beyond. ❤

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    1. Hi JoAnna! Thank you ❤ I know you speak from your heart…a heart that is touched with the same grief…the same missing.
      I hope the New Year started with lots of good things for you to explore this year. Sending all good things…

      Liked by 1 person

  7. That was beautiful Lorrie. I wrote many similar to my mother while here and after she departed, blessed are we to have had that type of adoration and admiration for the vessels and beautiful souls who brought us into this world and put us before all, including themselves. I just had my “6th” year with my mother in spirit, also around the holidays – her departure date is November 24th – I think their departures during holidays make it that much more surreal, loving, deep and at times painful. Pain isn’t a bad thing, as long as we experience it and walk through it – it’s how we process our emotions otherwise they remain stuck. I recall “the first” as you just have – the first were different than the 2nds, 3rds and so on. Each brings a different sense of emotion, memories, experiences and growth – as well as pain … they’re like waves, none are the same as the ones before, but each roar with love. I was with you for some of the years far before she departed and I remember the depth of your sorrow, it wasn’t easy. You were a devoted and loving daughter and deserve the freedom of sheer Blessitude now. I chose the word with intent, you’ll understand it. I love you my friend.

    Always the one who crossed your path during a time when you were balloon watching on the beach who never left. Very connected. Your sisTar a few miles away … but by heart right next to you. ❤

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    1. I can’t believe it has been 6 years!!! Time is moving so quickly, Kimba. It makes me feel, more than ever, that we have to lead our lives with clear awareness; we cannot just go through the motions or we may very well miss it!
      I appreciate your love and your wishes of all good things. I send it all right back to you. I hope today smiles on you with good fortune and light! 💜

      Liked by 1 person

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